Miscarriage
I'm so sorry for your lost. I totally feel what you are going through. Back in 2008 I was finally expecting my first child and that was the happiest time of my life. My husband and I were together for a long time and finally got married the day we made 10 years together. Five months later we found out we were expecting and we were so happy. Just shy of my 19th week of my pregnancy I had a miscarriage and lost my first child on September 1, 2008 which happen to be a boy. I had a very hard time dealing with my lost.
Then 2 months later in Novemeber os 2008 we found out I was pregnant again and I was happy and yet worried at the same time. A month later in December I started bleeding and had to go to the doctor to check up and we found that my HCG levels dropped and therefore I had lost another one. I was then again mad at the world and I had many angry feelings towards GOD which I KNOW is not right but I think it was just that I was fustrated and angry and full of negativity by this time. I knew in my heart that everything happens for a reason nad that GOD has a plan for all of us it's just that I just had to get past this heartbreak AGAIN.
Then 2 month after that happened in Febrauary 2009 we found out we were expecting AGAIN. This time I didn't get my hopes up high and I really wasn't to excited about this pregnancy which was very negative on my part. I then again bled in the beginning and I had to take extra precautions this time. When we found out we were expecting again my doctor put me on bedrest right away. So from Febraury 2009 I was bedridden and had to take off from work. I guess you could say that I am what they consider high risk. So I stayed home from that point on and in May I had to have my cervix sewn (surclage) to have a better chance of keeping this baby.
My due date that was given was October 16, 2009. I had doctor appointments every week to check up. To make this long story short, I FINALLY had my son on October 4, 2009 which was a total blessing. To make this day even more special I had him on MY birthday. Now my son and I share the same birthday and I definately know with all my heart that keeping FAITH really pays off. I am so very thankful for the trail and tribulations that I went through to get to where I am now in life. And my son was born strong and healthy at 6lbs 13oz and 20in. He is now 4 months old at 19 lbs and 26 inches.
So I just want to tell you that keeping a positive attitude and faith will eventually pay off. It's just unfortunate that sometimes some of us have to go through some rough times in order to be rewarded. It sure is a blessing in disguise and ttotally worth every minute.
