Losing baby and picking yourself up

I am very sorry for your loss.

Becky am so sorry for your loss and i can certainly relate...i lost my baby boy at exactly 20 weeks. went if to find out sex and was told he had gone to heaven. i am currently pregnant 22 weeks and counting and let me tell you is hard. been to years since my angel but like the girls said take it one day at a time, its extremely stressing and worrysome but am delighted my baby girl kiks me and moves and looked forward to that sono and then i breath again for a couple of weeks and we go all thru it again. as far as my baby boy there is no easy way to deal or get over it . we never get over it but it truly and really helps heal and deal with sites like this one with all the support and kind words and the rest of the OB family helping . to me posting and venting and crying help alot. I had a lot of complications before with Angel but he was wrapped around the cord. just knw you are in my prayers . Tanya

Becky, I'm so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you are going through right now!  ((HUGS))

My sister got pregnant with her 2nd baby and when they went in at the 20 wk ultrasound to find out the sex, there was no heartbeat.   It was a boy and they found that he had a few anatomy problems that might've contributed to the loss.   My sister had to have a D&C and wait a few months before trying again.  She relied heavily on our religious beliefs to get through it and a lot of prayer and she actually did pretty well getting through the greif and sadness.   I was surprised to learn that she was pregnant like 4 months later, they started trying at about 3 months after the D&C and she got pregnant right away.   They didn't tell anyone that she was pregnant until 12 weeks and even then, she was nervous to tell anyone for fear of miscarrying again.  They had a sweet little baby boy last April and he is the joy of their lives.   Talking about it, crying about it and letting yourself feel the pain will help you move on IMO.   Everything happens for a reason and you have to let yourself heal in due time.

I would find it hard to get pregnant again too after such a loss but you have to take your time and try when you are ready.   So sorry for your loss.

Becky,

My heart certainly goes out to you. I had a miscarriage in first trimester and that was still hard to deal with. Don't feel like you have to grieve according to any one else's time table. Take it one day at a time and when you are ready try again. I wish you all the best.

I too lost a baby Gabriel Lynn at 5 months. 10/23/07 I still think about him I still miss him. We were on our honeymoon and my water started to leak then broke we got to the hospital and labor was already going. We had just had our big us 5 days prior everything was perfect. We buried him and we would visit etc. alot in the beginning I have a little bear named Gabe who in my heart is him, I know I may be crazy but thats how I cope when I left the hospital my hubby gave me a cream bear so when I miss him I hold it and think about him. We have a memory box that I used to look it with pictures, footprints etc. We started trying in Dec 07 got pregnant in May of 08 m/c at 4 weeks then Sept 08 got preggers again and had miss Molly full term and perfect. I worried every single day of the pregnancy and I didnt tell many people that I was pregnant I waited until almost 20wks... after I would feel her kick I would be at work and if I couldnt feel it would have my husband come reassure me or my coworkers I never stopped when she came out perfect and healthy that worry was gone and a new one started!

Our son was perfect in every aspect except a cleft lip/palate but all his labs came back perfect. I had tests done as well and they could not find a reason. So we really never got closure or an answer. He is in heaven and watches over our daughter who is thriving.

You need to find someone to talk to, I had to reach out because my family told me to get over it etc. It can be someone here or a therapist whatever you feel comfortable with. But if you wait too long it just makes it worse. My husband buried himself in grief and now we are in counseling trying to get him healthier. We both battle depression so if you have trouble don't wait get on meds before it gets worse.

Sorry this was so long. I am so sorry for what you have been trough there is nothing like it.

Megan
Mommy to Molly 5/17/09
Mommy to my angel Gabriel Lynn 10/23/07

I deeply sympathize with you.  I was 28 weeks and gave birth to a baby girl who only survived 3 days.  She was born on Feb 6, 2005 and today is Feb 10, 2005 she passed away.  Today i am 32 weeks pregant and happy but scarred.  I have been on bed rest since Jan 4th as my cervix is short and the baby is not ready.  Yes, it is scarry beacuse you will always think something will go wrong.  I see it this way, God did not want this for my family at that time.  The baby was premature, the cost of bills, the pain of growing up with health issues, the stress on the rest of the family.  Once you realize that is was out of our control it will make it easier to deal with, never forgotten but easier to deal with.  I have a few more weeks but this time i am more at ease.  I was blessed to be able to get pregnant again and at least if I give birth now, the baby has a better chance and so does our family.  Give your self time to release the pain and you will get pregnant again when it is time.  Not so much when you are ready but when you are yet again blessed to be pregnant.  Good luck.