OT- the birth talk

My nine year old son asked me if I was not having surgery, how would the baby get out. We have touched on the subject before but never in detail. More like mom have a spot that the baby comes out of it. He liked it to the exit door at Walmart. This was when my 4 year old was in the car with us so I did not want to go into detail. The subject was dropped and then today out of the blue he brought it up. He is only 9. How much is to much detail?

I personally would tell him that the baby will be coming out through the vagina. I'd be pretty open with him about it. But I plan on talking to my children really early about sex. I feel it's better coming from me first than their friends.

Only you can answer what your son is ready for intellectually.  I would just warn you to be certain to tell him this is a subject for home, because if not....it will become the talk of the playground at school and you will be CERTAIN to get a call from a teacher or a principal..trust me, I say this out of love and experience....lol  I was always open with my children...when they asked, I answered them as honestly and appropriately as I could for their age.  I was raised that sex was a taboo subject, and why I feel 2 out of my parents' 4 daughters ended up pregnant before the age of 16.  Knock on wood, I have a 22, 19, 18, 17, and 15 year old (I'm not counting the other 3 little ones), and none of them have come up pregnant, but trust me...my jaw ha**** the floor with some of the questions they have asked..and they never seen to ask them at a good time...LOL  When my 19-year-old lost her virginity at 17 (I was so disappointed in her at the time because I was so scared she was going to follow in my footsteps)..I knew the second I saw her what had happened.  My hubby and I went to reno for 5 days on our motorcycle...we walked in the door from our trip...she was doing dishes in the kitchen...we all did huge hugs and we miss you thing...and the second I saw her, I knew.  I went out in the garage to have a smoke (yes a very bad habbit I know, the only good thing is I never smoke inside), but my hubby came out and said what's wrong....and I said...Tessa had sex.  He was like...wtf...how do you know?  I said...I just know...so that night when I went to tuck her in bed...yes I still tuck all of my children in bed that live at home...I asked her if she had sex..and she ducked her head and said..yes mom.  All I said was...did you use protection were you safe? and she said of course I was mom...you taught me better than not to be...so I let it go for a while before we had another talk with her and her boyfriend about respecting our rules of NOT doing it in our home and that really it was unfair for her boyfriend to be taking chances with Tessa's future, as the reality is...the one an unplanned pregnancy effects the most is the girl..so we asked him to please abstain until she was 18...I dunno if they did or not, I doubt it,  but we gave it the old college effort...lol

Okay, sorry...didn't mean to write a book there...but if you can muttle through all I wrote, my answer is that I believe being as honest as we can for what their maturity level can handle is what I would do.  My 8-year-old boy has not asked yet...but I'm sure it is coming.  I think he has been slower than my girls because I have never been pregnant around him.  The only thing he has asked is if I would please have 1 more baby so he could have a little brother to play with instead of all of these girls...lol  Well, since I had my tubes tied and my health sucks...the answer is no...but it breaks my heart because even at 39, and post 10 pregnancies (8 lives births) 1 singleton miscarriage at 8 weeks and 1 twin miscarriage at 16 weeks, I still long to bring another baby into the world.  I know I never will, as it is just not what is meant for me....but dang is it hard!

I hope you get lots of good advice, and that you can be comfortable with your decision.  I think it is a mistake to talk about the stork or a cabbage patch or what have you...because even at 9, in this day and age they know WAY more than we did at 9, and I am afraid fibbing to him will lead to him thinking it is a taboo subject, and why bother asking, cuz mom is not gonna tell me the truth anyway...soooooooooooo that is my opinion :)

Good Luck!

Laura
Mom of 8 (7 girls) (1 boy) 

They are always curious uh?  My 6 year old step daughter would watch baby story with me and I would let her watch all the parts...Funny she would ask me, will they clean the baby before I see it...etc...but I wasn't the one who got the question, "Why do some babies come out of the belly and some out of the special parts (that's what we call her girlie parts)"....She ask her mom that one...I thought her mom would die to have to answer it...but she never brought it up again around us....

Good luck...Stacey

Thank you for your opinions. I have held off on a lot the sex and body part talk, because he has never ask. My mother told me everything at nine with technical terms and all. I always felt she went way over board with us. My sister still ended up pregnant at 16 and I still did many things I should not have. I have always felt I should take it at their pace, only now I do not know what that is. I think I am just going to have to let his questions guide me. Hopefully my youngest will not be hanging around, that child shares everything with everyone. 

Thanks again for all the advice, as a parent I am constantly learning.

Emily