Your opinion....Co-sleeping

Stacey,

Out of 8 children not one has ever slept in my bed with me unless my hubby was gone to work.  I made the decision based on I simply was not comfortable with my babies in my bed with me...even when I nursed.  I always had a bassinet in my room, but to be honest, they never lasted long in there.  I am such a light sleeper, and a lot of times..babies tend to grunt and rutt around in their sleep, and it kept me awake...I simply couldn't stand it.  So, most of my babies were in their cribs by the first week.  I had baby monitors, and the second they started to fuss, my feet hit the floor, but I just couldn't stand them in my bed.  My hubby also has very strong feelings about this.  He does not even like the children in our room at all, but I have allowed sleeping on our floor when they are sick or scared...he absolutely is against it period, but when I was little I was terrified at night, and I don't want my babies to go through that, so that is one of the VERY FEW things I do that my husband is really against.  We live ummmmmmmmmm how many of you gals would consider like in the stone ages.  My husband is the head of the household, and what he says pretty much goes.  Now...that being said...I will not override him or disagree with him in front of the children, but when we get alone...LOOOOOOOK OUT!!!  LOL  I definitely let him know my thoughts.  It is interesting though, as many times once we have gone our rounds on a certain subject...he will lighten up on it within 24 hours or so...he just has to have time to process it and think it out.  SOooooooooooooo long story short (too late)...hubby didn't want babies in our bed/room...I couldn't sleep with them in our bed/room....so they went to their own little beddies very early on and it worked out just fine :)  I did not even nurse in our bed.  I would get up and go to the glider chair and nurse there with all of my pillows and such!

I hope you get some good answers and different points of view.  My personal opinion is, you will find what works for you, and there is no right or wrong answer.  You just have to remember that eventually you and your hubby are going to want to be intimate again, and that is ummmmmmmmm a little difficult to do with an extra body in the bed...LOL  We don't even do it if one of the kids is sleeping on our floor becuase I am afraid we might wake them up.  So, might not be a huge issue to you, but definitely something to think about.  You may not have sex for quite a long time...I did most of the time though by 3 weeks post delivery...fairly early, so that would be something to definitely think about :)

Good luck with your little one!!!!  I'm sure whatever decision you make will be perfect for you and your family :)

Laura

With my first I was really against co-sleeping but used a bassinett in the bedroom- I moved at every little sound she made and was freaked out about SIDS- Darn hospital class! Anyway, I had to move her to her crib with just the monitor at 5 weeks to get any sleep. I still woke up and stopped to listen for her though occasionally through the night. I agree that good sleep habits are really important. That being said, when she was about three she went through a really bad nightmare phase, and now, occassionally I let her sleep with me- but usually only if I have the next day off. She knows she can ask, but sometimes Mommy says no. We do lost of snuggling before bed though, especially when she needs it. I guess there is some flexibility around th eissue for me now, whereas there wasn't before she was born- I was strictly no co-sleeping. That being said, my husband comes from a culture where co-sleeping is very normal, and in fact strange if it does not occur. Luckily he hasn't complained too much, but sometimes he will let her sleep with us too.

I cosleep with Max but my husband works nights so Its just us in a king size bed. He is barricaded in though. We started with a type a bassinet that went in between hubby and I in bed.

I was fine at first with it but now he really needs to be in his own bed.

My three children all co-slept with us until they were two. With my first born I brought his new baby sister home and I slept in between them after one night of her crying he asked to sleep in his room and has ever since. My daughter was the same way at 2 1/2 her new little brother came along and I had a c-section. She decide we were to noisy and moved to her big girl bed. Neither had tears, they were secure and ready to move on. My youngest slept in his bassinet for a few months and then he was in our bed. At around two years old we had bunk beds put in our oldest room and he loved them and moved right in w/out a problem. My kids all sleep wonderfully.  With number four I plan on the baby sleeping in our room for the first year. We have a pack n play with a bassinet. I am not even bothering with a crib. I do not think I will co-sleep this time because I am afraid I have become to heavy of a sleeper. I am nursing so we will see when the baby gets what my choice will be.

Co-sleeping can actually increase the risk of SIDS. Adult beds do not provide the proper firm support that babies need to help prevent SIDS, and there are too many pillows/blankets that pose an additional suffocation hazard. One of my dear friends lost a baby to SIDS who slept in the bed with her and her hubby. So no, it absolutely would not happen at my house.

My son slept in a bassinette in our room for about 3 months, and this little bambina will do the same thing. Can't wait!!

Can you show me the studies that back that up? SIDS is an unexplaine death, and it is MORE likely to happen with a child who is not co-sleeping. If parents read up about co-sleeping, know how to do it safely and properly, it it much safter for a child to sleep with its mother then to not.

I'll find them and post tomorrow from work.

I would be interested to hear more about SIDS and co-sleeping.  My understanding about SIDS is that it is simply apnea where baby forgets to breathe and does not wake up?  It would make sense what a PP said regarding an adult's bed being to cushioned, pillows, blankets, etc.  I know they say to never put pillows and what not in a crib or bassinet.  Anyhow, I would like to hear more if anyone has read any studies or what not regarding SIDS and co-sleeping.  The only danger I have heard regarding co-sleeping is asphixiation due to an adult rolling over on baby...so I don't know anything about the risk of SIDS and co-sleeping.  I know with SIDS from the time I had my first baby until I had my last the rules of SIDS sleeping have changed back and forth about 20 times...first it is put them on their back...then it is put them on their tummy...then it is prop them on their side...then it is back to the back...its maddening as there are no real answers.  Anyhoo...again, anyone with any more info regarding co-sleeping and SIDS post it here, and I am going to start doing some researching on my own on the internet and see what I can find :)

Laura 

The basic idea is that babies who sleep near their parents in a healthy enviorment (meaning proper bedding, healthy habits and responsive parenting) are less likely to die from SIDS because they are less likely to have the arousal deficit that is belived to cause it. The number of co-sleeping deaths per year is lower then that of the rate of SIDS for babies who sleep alone, and most co-sleeping deaths are related to intoxicated parents, inproper sleeping area or attire and entrapment inbetween walls and beds or boxspring and headboard (which is actually why they are recalling all those drop side cribs, because this same thing is happening only in cribs).

Plenty of info on Ask Dr. Sears, including an article about co-sleeping and SIDS:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp#T071003

Also, Dr. Momma who writes the peaceful parenting blog has a TON of information, articles, and commentary:
http://www.drmomma.org/search/label/cosleeping

and finally, this is another great resource from a sleep-study:
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html

Also, the definition of co-sleeping is not always what people imagin, it does not mean that baby needs to be IN your bed between you and your partner (although this can be a perfectly viable option for some). There are many co-sleeping options that are safe and effective that keep baby out of your bed, on a safe sleep surface away from blankets and pillows, yet still in arms reach of mama, and these show the same promising effects as having the child IN the bed with you.

We can not safely co-sleep with baby in our bed, my husband has waking nightmares where he will sometimes phsycially act out (jumping, pushing and arm swinging), so baby is in a cosleeper on my side of the bed where I can easily reach him, bringing to me to nurse or cuddle, or even just to reach out and pat him to let him know I am there.