When will this worrying stop???

Okay ladies, I went today for a fetal echocardiogram and the doctor says the heart looks good but that he notices some light spots which could be nothing or it could be down syndrome. I declined the amnio they offered earlier on because we decided we will love our baby regardless, yet they are recommending amnio again. What purpose will it serve to have this added risk test done if it isn't going to change how we feel about our baby, just give me more to worry about for the next 4 mos...every time I start to enjoy this pregnancy its another worry, when will it STOP??????????

Hi Chavon,

My coworker and I were just talking about all the tests that OB's want you to take, but was is the real benefit.  Even if you get the amnio and your baby does have DS, which is doubtful, then what?!?!?  Why take the risk of the amnio, if there is nothing that can be done anyway.  We both carry the sickle cell anemia trait which greatly increases the chances of the baby having it.  My OB suggested that I go see a specialist.  We didn't go, because we figured what would the benefit be.

I know that it is easier said than done, but try to stop worrying and just enjoy your pregnancy.

honestly.. never... even after baby is here... there are a whole different set of worries...

I would not do it, why risk it? You will always worry. Praying and loving our babies is all we can do, even when there 50. 

My first pregnancy was like that- Just when things were going well another thing would creep up. It was very unnerving. I understand about amnio- it is risky. Why did they offer the downs amnio before? Was it for another reason similar to this one, or just routine? If it was routine and they would have offered regardless, I would probably still not want to undergo the procedure. But if it was because of somehting they saw on an ultrasound or somehting similar, then perhaps you could consider the test more carefully. When we were deciding. the only real pro was that it would not be a devastating thing at delivery to find out- at least we would know ahead of time. I am a planner so I read up on everything, and I would certainly have used the time to get to know what special care the baby might need or htings I should consider as the mother of a downs child. That was the only reason I could think of that would be positive. Luckily, we still declined and our daughter is fine and healthy. Hopefully that gives you something to think about. I think amnio is scary because of the risk of miscarriage/pre term birth, and after all you've gone thorugh to become pregnant that is the last thing you want to risk. Good luck with it! Worrying is normal, as I worry every day this time around too, although I haven't had nearly the problems and I'm carrying twins.

Carrie

CHavon - Will they just re-do the ultrasound?? Did you have the NT test a month or so ago? We declined all testing because like you we feel blessed and will take what God gives us. I asked the OB honestly if she was in my place if she would do the tests and she said probably not.

I would ask your Dr to look at the heart (or wherever they saw the spots) at the next US and then make your decision from there. I know plenty of women who have had amnios (including both of my aunts with each of their last 2 kids) and all 4 babies were perfectly fine and carried to term.

*hugs* hang in there sweetie!

First off Chavon ((((hugss)))).

I understand exactly what you are going through. Remember a few weeks back...a few days before Thanksgiving..I was given similar devastating news. They could not find her nasal bone and said while it was a soft marker it was one of the more definte ones that a baby is a downs baby and she has a small hole in her heart. Scared the living daylight out of me. Repeated the u/s 2 weeks later...both problems still there. Fetal echo 2 weeks after that...hole still there and nasal bone is still tiny. All of this news around the holidays after finally getting excited about the entire situation. Well did I ever get that amnio done...NO! because I will love this baby girl regardless. I have done a bit of research on downs so I can know what to expect if she is but in my heart in won't matter. besides, apparently down syndrome isnt as big as a drawback as it used to be....about 3/4 of the cases of children go on to live normal healthy lives (after any heart problems is corrected...which is main concern) and even go on to live independently and have jobs. I didnt know that. Very few have serious learning disabilities (besides maybe being a little slower) and even fewer have physical disabilities. IDK if it will, but that helped me feel a little better and put my mind slightly at peace that no matter what things will be ok.

Also, if that is the only marker they are concerned with, dont stress it at all. Many baby's have small holes in their hearts but the majority close by 30 weeks or by birth. I had a mumur but it closed before I turned a year old and I am a perfectly healthy 20 year old female. All me and df agreed on is if it starts stressing me again, I will get the amnio done at either 30 or 32 weeks (after our fetal echo u/s), a point where any complications are very very small and if something does go wrong she is at a point where she won't have to spend too much time in NICU.

If you need to talk about it feel free to pm me because I understand your emotions right now.
Simone