I feel bad...but I had to...

wake my husband up last night to feed the baby! I'm running on fumes here! Is that wrong of me to ask him to get up at 2am when he has to be at work at 7am? sometimes even 5am?

I feel bad but man.....I so needed that extra sleep! I'm not coping as well with a 15 month old and a 5 week old as I thought I would! I long for the weekends.....

Just needed to vent a little....

Ash :)

u r ok

i get NO help t all and i have myhands overloaded as i sit here and type 1 handed with a crying baby here

my hubby works and goes to school, he is out from 6am and comes home 11pm

he is exhausted however on dis day off he lays in the bed and watches tv all day
he has never changed there diaper i sleep in the living room with the twins so he can sleep un interrupted

i think i got the worst of it :( 

How do you not become resentful?  I get upset just hearing this.

I wish you well Stephanie.

It's absolutely OK to ask for help!! My hubby was not helpful the first time around either- This time since I'm expecting twins I am going to ask and not feel guilty about it. I would maybe have the conversation with him- I know what it is like to do the full time work thing, but he needs to bond with his children too. Find out what he would be comfortable with contributing- either with your older or younger child, and develop a routine so that he is helping. Maybe one night a week he takes the wee hour feedings- maybe he handles 15 month old bath/bed one night a week too, even if it is his night off. Maybe approach it as his time to really spend just a few minutes bonding with his kids individually- Stress that you are not asking for a lot, just a little help for yourself and for your kids- Since I did this with my husband things have slowly improved- now I sometimes find that he has cleaned the kitchen. It's not all the time, but every now and then, and it's nice. Just some thoughts. I think men are programmed sometimes to not even think about helping- it's not like they're purposely doing it, they are just apt to be more selfish, and they need some encouragement to look beyond themselves. Good luck! Marriage is such a fun process!

Carrie

I so think it is OK! I will tell my hubby that I am going to need his help, actually we've already discussed it. My hubby works 2nd shift 11am - 9pm getting home around 10pm. My original thought was that he'll get the midnight-2am feeding whenver it is and I'll get up after that. That way I can get a solid block of sleep and so can he. Of course this is all theory since well my baby is still baking lol

GOod luck! I hope you get some well deserved sleep!

Liz

That is sort of what we did when Alex was born.  DH was driving 120 miles one way to work in Cleveland at the time so he'd leave around 6 am and get home between 7 and 8 pm.  We'd have dinner.  He'd give me a break to shower if I hadn't had the chance and then send me to bed.  He need some time for himself to unwind anyway.  He would then take the first shift for feeding usually sometime between 11-1 and then I'd take any other shifts in the night.  He would get a stretch of mostly uninterrupted sleep during that time.  I tried breastfeeding but issues with my supply so we had to supplement so that feeding was always one of his bottle feedings.  It worked for us.

Liz,
Just wanted you know that you are so smart for talking about this before the baby is born!  I have two older children and DH fought a lot about night feedings.  With my little one (2.5 mos old) we talked about and worked out a similar system.  DH works swing shift (2:30pm to 11pm) and so I feed her at 11p so that she is happy and done when he gets home at 11:30p.  She is usually fairly awake at that point and wants to be held.  He unwinds after work for awhile by rocking her and watching tv.  I am breastfeeding so he can't do that part yet, but when we eventually switch over to bottles - he will just take over the feeding at that time.

You're so smart!

 It's totally okay! 

Thankfully, i have a very understanding husband who loves to help out.  Starting Friday nights, He comes home and takes care of the baby pretty much until after dinner Sunday night.  I still do lots for the baby, but its nice to be able to relax without having the monitor attached to my waist.  I guess the best nights sleep on the nights he has the baby monitor by his ear.  

My husband was very eager to help with our first baby even at night.  There were nights he wouldn't allow me get up and he would tend to each feeding so that I could get some sleep.  He was leaving for work at 6 am and getting home at 7 or 8 pm too.  Also on the weekends, we would alternate and each take a night to get good sleep.   If you are totally sleep deprived, you won't be able to take care of anyone.

Vent away.....

I understand COMPLETELY! I know this was so wrong and mean but there would have been no functioning on my part if I didnt. Nylah and I would go to bed at 8pm everynight and DH would sleep in the living with Van. I woke up at 5am when he had to get ready for work and I would still complain and I was on maternity leave. I never knew the schedule and when he went out to sea when she was 2 months old I had to ask what times she normally got up and how much she drank... LOL I am so not a nice person But hey he didnt ANYTHING the first time around so it was payback! HA