Maryn Update

So Maryn came home on Friday (for those non FBers) and is doing well.   I will back up to the day before she came home. 

I haven't said anything on FB because really I don't like to think about it or talk about it.   Thursday morning, I am walking into the NICU to see Maryn, but I'm stopped by the Dr.   He starts to tell me that she has a heart murmur and from there I pretty much went into a daze.   They ordered an echo and as I am sitting there watching them do the test, I pretty much lost it.   Maryn still has a slight murmur which the cardiologist feels is normal.   She has a small hole between the two small ventricles of the heart.   Now they said this could be normal and should close up in 6 months or it could be something and we will know that at 6 months as well.  

For now, they are not concerned and said that I shouldn't worry about it because she's perfect.   Right, because I'm not going to worry.   Are you kidding me!!!??   My newborn baby has a cardiologist now and I'm not supposed to worry?   Give me a break!   Needless to say, I jump at every little noise and gurgle with her.   It was so different with Maryn versus the twins.   Jack was in the NICU yes, but it was only for a day and a half and we ALL left the hospital together.   Leaving the hospital without Maryn was like ripping my soul out.   

Today she had her first well visit.   As I said, she's doing well.   She lost a little bit of weight (less than an ounce) and they want to see her gain by Saturday.   She's a good eater so I don't see an issue with it.   I thought we were going to have to switch her to soy, but that did not agree with her so she's back on Similac Advance.   Side note, I could not breastfeed because my milk never came in just like last time.   Actually this time I didn't even get colostrum.  That's a whole other issue that breaks my heart, but nothing I can do about it.   The twins were fine on formula and Maryn will be just fine too.   So we have a Dr. appointment on Saturday to make sure her weight is going up and we go from there.  

Sorry this has been such a long diatribe, but that's my Maryn update.   I wish I had some pictures to post,  but our brand new digital camera is having issues and I don't know where the hell I stashed the old camera in the interim while we work out the crap with the new camera.   What an effin clusterfuck.  

 I know it is easier said than done, but try not to worry about the heart murmur.  They told us the same thing with Libby and it scared the crap outta me!  The 2nd time we went to the pediatrician he couldn't hear a thing, even though two different doctors in the hospital heard it.  They had even had a specialist listen to her and sent me the bill for it.  You are a wonderful Mommy, so everything will be fine.

I'm glad to hear that the doctors think her murmur will clear up on its own. I hope Maryn continues to do well!

Awww Julie...so sorry you had to have that added stress thrown at you. I know you read about it being normal and them growing out of it but when it is your own kiddo it is different. I did not find out til later in life I had one as a kid when my doctor was going over my medical records....
You are an awesome Mom....shoot you could not have PAID me to cook within the first week of having Emad but yet you keep on keeping on. Best thoughts and wishes and hopes for a great visit on Saturday! (((Hugs)))

I think it's sheer adrenaline at this point.  LOL    I have no idea how I'm cooking.   I cannot even sit without wanting to die.    

Childbirth is not for the faint of heart that's for sure.   Actually I should say the aftermath of childbirth is not for the faint of heart.  

Hugs to you all Julie!    How can we not worry as mothers???   My oldest spent the first 5 1/2 weeks in the hospital and was in and out her whole first yr and it's the hardest thing a mother can do to leave your baby at the hospital.   I can remember it just like it was yesterday.   Glad to hear she's home with you all.   I will say prayers that the hole heals on it's  own and the murmur is resolved as well.   I hope you all have a very wonderful Christmas.   Enjoy those 3 beautiful blessings you have there!   You've done a great job with the twins and I'm sure you are with Maryn as well.   By the way I just love her name!

Hugs, Julie.  My thoughts and prayers are that the hole closes and resolves itself before 6 months!  Life is so hard after giving birth.  Hormones on top of worry.  I hope you are able to rest and feel some peace.  You are a great mom and your children are proof!!

Laurie

Just wanted to share a reassuring story...when our oldest was born and we were about to leave the hospital with him, they dropped the bomb on us that he had a heart murmur and we were to go straight from the hospital to the pediatric cardiologist's office instead of home.  No one had mentioned it before then.  We didn't have anything we needed to make an extra stop on the way home.  The nurses were packing a diaper bag for us with everything we might need.  It was a shock and a nightmare, as first-time parents especially.

Here's the reassuring part...it all ended up fine.  He had to go to the cardiologist every three months for the first year, but by his first birthday, the hole had healed itself and he was released from their care and has been fine ever since.  I'll pray that the same happens for Maryn.

btw...one of my best friends has a 6 year old little girl named Marin (after her mother Mary).  I've never heard anyone else with that name, but I think it's so pretty.

Good luck to you!...Natalie

I hate to say it but you are always going to worry about her even when it heals. We had Riley in the ER a few weeks ago because he was wheezing and after his lung trauma at birth he is now prone to things. Worry is good, it will keep us both on top of things and extra precautious with out precious children. I'm sorry that this is all happening. The depression that comes with post partum plus having a baby be in the nICU and then an issue can really take it's toll on a new mom. I hope that you all come through this soon.

I know how important nursing this time was for you. I wi**** had worked out. When I was pumping in the hospital for Riley, I didn't get a drop on day 2 and was heartbroken. On day 3 it came in and the nurse told me that I was lucky that I had nursed before because our bodies remember. Other mothers who never had milk come in who have to pump or have a baby in NICU often never get thier milk, please don't beat yourself up.

Try to remember that a Murmur can be very normal. Riley is almost 3. It's still there, ut has never been an issue and she is doing great. And as a side note, my 81 year old grandmother has had one since birth and has never had any heart issues.

So I am sure that little girl will be just fine!

How is the formula thing going? I read about a barf fest on FB, and wondered if you guys got settled on a formula for her.