I have been refered to a RE

I think I understand (although I have never been in your shoes) how you are feeling.

You think you're a failure as a woman because you can't (or seemingly can't) have a baby, right?

I mean it's a woman's job to pop out children and if you can't then you're just not a woman.   ALL sucessful women have kids, right?  I mean all women who matter.... 

And having to ask for "help" with something that should be natural makes it almost as bad as not having a child at all..... 

COME ON.   YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT CRAP DO YOU??? 

Snap out of it, girl !  You are a wonderful person.  You have accomplished - you have a great husband, supportive family -- you've lost a ton of weight.....  Having a child (or not having one) does not define Amanda. 

Turn on the positive attitude.  I'm sure you had doubts about having weight loss surgery - it's a big and scary step, but you had surgery and needing that "help" to lose weight doesn't make you a failure.  Neither does going to an RE for help keeing a baby sticky! 

The mind is a powerful tool -- so use it to your advantage.  You are going to go to this RE.  He is going to find something / suggest something that will work for you.  You are going to have that family you want. 

Having a baby isn't as easy as they make it seem in movies and books.  It's not a "God Given" right for a woman... just like breastfeeding after having a baby isn't as easy and some people need help and some people turn to formula and it doesn't make them less of a woman or less of a mom. 

Keep your chin up - we are here to support you!  Keep us updated about your appointment on the 20th and remember the RE is the person who knows the most about your struggles

*hugs*

Cindy

having the baby is just been the most trying thing that I have ever had to deal with, its just painful....

Thanks, I am trying to keep my chin up, I am causiously optimistic about the RE Im just scared to put too much faith in anything.

I know.... I always plan for the worst and hope for the best.  I understand not wanting to put too much faith in something, but you have to go in with a positive attitude too or it will fail.

I'm eager to hear what he has to say on the 20th ! 

Cindy

My heart goes out to you Amanda. Feel however you need to feel! I hope your vacation helps to bring your spirits up. Its understandable that you are feeling down and hopeless right. I don't know how to say this any other way except bluntly but I'm a little bit concerned about your state of mind. Have you considered maybe a little grief counseling? I personally think you have a lot of indications for major depression, which is completely natural after what you've been through. Your state of mind right now is not good for your health in general, and being as healthy as possible can only help you as you attempt to overcome whatever it is that is going wrong. Maybe talking about it to someone privately who is there to listen and not judge would help? Take it easy on yourself, love who you are. These trials do not make you less of a person, less of a woman, or in any way diminish all of the other successes in your life that you should be proud of. All the best sweetie!

Aww thanks for your concern jenny, I have been doing pretty well dealing with it all, its crappy but I am working thru it, its just harder at times than others, and all this stuff in the last two days has just brought it to the surface again..

I'm sorry that this has you so upset. You have a right to feel whatever emotions this situation has you feeling. I felt similar when deciding to have WLS. I was angry that I had to have surgery in order to be a normal sized person. I am still angry that losing weight doesn't come easy, 9 weeks at the same weight is the most frustrating thing in my life right now, those are MY feelings about the matter and no matter what anyone says to me they won't change MY feelings.

I think everyone here is trying to be supportive. Some people won't ever understand or empathize but don't let that get you even more down, have your feelings and then try and overcome them and do what has to be done. Good luck to you!

Thanks, yes I know everyone is trying to be supportive, I just dont know how I should feel, like I said i really want to be excited/hopefull/happy but its just not coming, its mostly failure/saddness/anticipation/and fear....  I am hoping that after a little bit, maybe after the 20th I might feel a little better... maybe hopeful....