I have been refered to a RE

Yeah apt is the 20th, maybe part of me doesnt want to admit that theres something majorly messed up with me and that its my fault that things are not working, maybe thats partially why i feel like this RE appointment is a death sentance....

I feel like yet again I failed.

I am sure they have done this, but my girlfriend had several mc's and the checked everything, each time. Then last year she became very ill, she was very tired and had an achy body, they did blood work and discovered she had Graves disease, which is a thyroid problem. They said it can flare up while pregnant and then disappear once the pregnancy is over. She was not skinny like you would think with Graves disease.  She has had the problem corrected and has had a baby. It is just a thought. Good Luck and please do not lose hope!

Additionally -- you know you can get pregnant, and that is more than half of the battle.  Many women can't even get pregnant...

Quite honestly, you ask most REs, and you will be the easiest kind of patient they have.  Getting women pregnant in the first place is the harder part.  Keeping them pregnant is usually something they can figure out quickly.

That was another sign of my stress, is part of me has wondered if all these pregnancies were just all in my head (like the crazy person I feel like I am becoming).... because none have got father than 7 weeks, I just felt like maybe I am immagining it all..

Ofcourse there is blood work to confirm it but it was nice to hear from her last night that yes your not crazy and yes your getting pregnant...

I guess I just feel like I have been beat down so much that why should this be any different?  How can he help any more...

Because, this is his specialty.  OB's -- even though they work with the same parts, are more about the entire pregnancy...not getting pregnant (and stickily).

Think of it this way, an orthopedic surgeon knows alot about bones and does surgeries, etc.  But, if you hurt your foot, one that specializes in podiatry is a better bet.

You will be surprised what an RE knows than a OB/GYN does not.  It is like NIGHT and DAY.

Part of me still feels like I failed because I have to end up there...

Thanks, I am sure he is a wonderful doctor and has done tones of IVF and IUI procedures, but I just never wanted that to have to be my route, and I guess part of me feels like by being pushed into this direction i have to admit that I am a failure and this wont just happen the way i wanted it to.

And that just hurts soo badly...   I am sure I wont cancel the appointment and I will go and I will hear all the great things hes going to do, but I will not be convinced of anything until I am pregnant for more than a few short weeks.

You may not even have to do IUI.  They might figure out your issue and you will be good to go in not time.

Part of me, though, is upset by your choice of words.  So you assume anyone who has to do IUI or IVF has failed on some level?  They failed to get pregnant without at least a little bit of help. But, that does not make them (OR ME, because this is personal) a failure.  A large portion of people end up at the REs because their husband has issues.  So, if your husband wasn't producing enough sperm or had another issue, would you call him a failure?

Couple who needs help from an RE sometimes have a very long, tough, road and for people to think they are failures in any way on top of their difficult journey is just well...not accurate for one and quite frankly hurtful for another.

 

Ann,
You would have to know me to understand, I am very hard on myself, I know this, and I would never say you or anyone else is a failure, now myself on the other hand, I will always feel as tho i have failed.  Again as for the husband, no I would never call him a failure, I am never as hard on other people as I am myself...

First off I want to say hi!  We are neighbors.  I live in Almont so probably about 15-20 minutes from you.  So nice to meet you!!

So sorry that you are experiencing all of this pain.  Although I don't speak from experience I do think your situation sounds very promising.  You are still very young and you are getting pregnant which is half the battle.  I myself had an ectopic pg in Aug and had a conversation with my OB regarding whether or not that was a good sign if I was to have a recurring miscarriage issue.  He emphatically said yes that being able to get pregnant is fabulous and from that point things are typically achievable but there are so many variables involved. 

I do have a lot of friends that have seen REs but none have seen that doctor that you are scheduled to see.  My friends that have been to REs were in possibly more difficult of situations too seeing as though they were trying for years and never got pg even one time.  Out of my 3 friends only one went on to IVF.

I understand your fears and anxiety I really do.  I did manage to get pg again after the ectopic and I am 11 weeks right now and I literally worry all the time.  I am 32 years old with one child that will be 8 and I have wanted another baby since he was 3 months old.  I find it very scary going on this whole journey of pg and to be honest I have no idea how I managed it before.  Throughout the years I have been surronded by many of women that got pg easily, told everyone at 4 weeks and went on to have successful pregnancies. 

I am not sure that I am really saying anything that you haven't already heard.  I just hope that you can relax and realize that seeing the RE is very positive.  Thankfully your appt is soon and you don't have to fret about it for weeks.  I know my one friend in the Lansing area had to wait for 3 months to get in to see her RE. 

I wish you the best of luck and I pray one day we will have a playdate with our babies!!  Take care!

I remember when you first posted that you had been referred to a high risk OB and a bunch of us piped up and said what you needed was to see an RE.  So, this is good news.

An REs job is to identify the underlying cause and get/keep you pregnant.  You've proven that you are capable of getting pregnant on your own.  Now you need the help with staying that way.  That's his job.

I had a miscarriage in February and I was with a regular OB.  I had actually miscarried before I even got an appointment there.  When I got pregnant again in August, I called the REs office the day I found out.  They had me come in at 8:00 that morning for a blood test to get my HCG and Progesterone levels and confirm the pregnancy.  I had the results by 3:00 that afternoon and they put me on progesterone supplements immediately.  I had weekly sonograms & blood tests for progesterone levels until 8 weeks then bi-weekly until 12 weeks when I graduated to the OB.

I don't think he's going to automatically try to push you into IUI or IVF.  You clearly don't need help getting pregnant....you've got that part down.  Just tell him right up front what your concerns are.

I can understand why you are feeling negative after 3 miscarriages but you need to look at this referral as the blessing it is.  You're finally seeing the doctor you need to see.