I have a problem

My daughter is 20 months and she is just such a mommy's girl... I am now 18 weeks with the twinny's and she has climb on me all the time it seems... We were laying in my bed watching cartoons cuz I had a headache... and she's just to rough with me and my belly... she hits me high up where my scar is and sometimes it hurts and earlier she got me lower where the babies are. I tell her to be careful but she don't always get why I am telling her... She knows I have babies in the belly but I don't think she understands completely... after all she throws her baby dolls all over the place...I know once they come she will be ok with them but the main question is how do and or did any of you mothers get your kids to be more calm and not jump on you as much... Also should I be lifting her she's like 32 lbs? Any advice is helpful... thanks :)

 

Chrissy

Chrissy

My daughter Nylah is now 20 months old, my baby is 4 months old. When I was pregnant she really didn't understand she was 16 months when baby was born and did the same thing with jumping on me and crawling over me. I just guarded my stomach and still let her lay on me. She still is not as gentle with the baby as I would like, she thinks shes a toy or that she can play with her like other kids her age. I will NOT leave her unattended in the same room with the baby, she is getting better but there is still progress to be made. We started teaching her gentle with another young baby at the daycare before mine was born (that helped). I tried to teach her with her baby dolls like holding it and saying mommy loves baby and Nylah and she would throw the baby and say "my momma". I thought it was going to be hell but its like the baby has always been there, and we have NO problems!

Ok thanks... Lola has a cousin that;s 9 months younger then her and she's rough with her as well... My daughter sucks at sharing... I am just worried about her thinking we don't love her as much as before. we want to let her help us out but DEFINITELY not alone with them...lol We want to make her feel important still... I am sure many parents go threw this with there kids...lol

She'll probably want to help at first and be angry when your holding them but that to shall pass. Very rarely does she ask to help, she is to caught up in what shes playing with to want to assist me with feeding a baby. LOL I by no means want to wish my baby time away but I can tell already that when Vannah gets a little bigger they will play fantastic together. My reasoning for having them so close was to be playmates, and entertain each other good luck hun, first few months will SUCK but you will do fine, its also great for weight loss (hence no time for yourself really).

 Chrissy,

Unfortunately, this is pretty normal.  Especially with the first born.  They can be very territorial when the new ones come along.  Heck, my oldest tried selling off her sibs, and when that didn't work, she tried giving them away...lol  Anyone that made comments about what a sweet  baby or something like that she would say...you can have her..my mom won't care...ROFL

The only thing I would strongly suggest you do is nip the roughness in the bud.  Even with you.  You need to still snuggle with her but teach her in different ways...like lying in your arms in bed next to you, or sitting in your lap kinda side ways, not on top of babies.  This will start to plant the seed that she needs to be gentle.  My oldest got so rough with me, that I had to come down hard on her a couple of times where she would hit me in the face or in the stomach.  That would get a very stern NO and setting her next to me and saying "until you can be gentle with mommy and the babies in mommy's tummy, you have to sit next to me.  It broke my heart, but it was very short-lived, and it really did convince her that she was not going to get away with that sort of behavior.  

I wish you luck, and just want to encourage you that it will work out.  You just have to figure out what works for your child.  I had a very strong-willed, stubborn first born, so I had no choice than to be a little more stern with her.  I also had a couple of little ones that all it took was one time of saying...gentle with mommy and babies...and boom it was over.  

Take care, and please feel free to PM me any time.  I have raised 8 children, so I do have some life experience in most areas.  I don't claim to have all the answers, but I do have some ideas on things that I found that worked and things that I found that didn' t work.  :)

When you get ready to potty train...PM me...I am the queen of the potty chair with little girls...LOL

Hugs!

Laura

thanks so much... we have been nipping her in the butt with the attitude and the temper... She has gotten better.  We are trying to potty train she goes sometimes and then lost interest but now she wants to again... I lost my train of thought I will message you again soon I am sure of it...lol

This is just my first thought that comes to mind...but if I were you, unless she is REALLY insisting on using the potty chair right at this very moment, I would hold off until you get used to having the babies around.  This is going to be A LOT of change for her...and throwing in trying to potty train, might push her over the edge behavior wise.  Obviously, it is your call as you know your child....I am just looking from the outside in, and obviously I am not living in your shoes :)  You will know what is best for you and your daughter...what I say are simply suggestions or observations!

Good luck and keep us posted on those babies and the potty training :)

Laura 

My daughter is almost 4 so she understand more and it's still hard to get her to be careful of my stomach. We were always wrestling and kinda rough before so now it's different. I tried to tell her from an early age, be gentle so she understands that word and that helps. It sounds like you're doing everything you can. 20 months is young to really get all of what is going on with your belly and that she needs to be careful. As far as picking her up, I don't really know. I am not about to pick up my daughter but she weighs 53 lbs and I'm sure that is a no no for sure.