So...umm...sex...possible tmi

Okay...I have a confession.  The hubbie and I haven't done the deed since August.  Mostly because of me.  I have no sex drive pregnant and its killing him.  I have started having a little lately, but now I have this hangup about having sex pregnant.  I am scared to see blood and I know its common to bleed after sex when you are pregnant.  And even though the docs say its fine to have sex, I am still freaked out about hurting our little girl.  Irrational fear probably...but umm...so for those of you that have been doing the deed...what can I expect as far as discharge and blood?  I know its probably not the same for everybody...but I just can't keep doing this to my husband. 

WE were both virgins before we got married, so we are both used to doing without(except the last 3 years) but I cannot do this to him anymore.  He has been incredibly patient, sweet, and kind about it, but I miss the closeness too..

I just need to prepare for what I might see after the act so to speak so that I don't freak out....LOL

Oh Girl!  You're worrying to much!  ... I love talkin bout sex! =)  I've never once bled afterwards.  The discharge has.... "increased", but thats common with pregnancy.  Everyone is different, and the sex drive comes & goes.  Sex is definitely different when pregnant, not all good, not all bad... and occassionally out of this world... (for me anyway, lol)  Find what works for you!  Also, your little girl is so well protected, you're not going to hurt her!  Honestly, my bf & I haven't been so "gentle" about things all the time and everything is just fine.  (Don't want to give TMI)  I will tell you my little girl is quiet afterwards, if anything I try to fall asleep before her kicks keep me up!  But she's back to her crazy kicking self in a couple hours.  ;)  If you're still really nervous, try shallower positions at first.  It's been a while, have a romantic night with hubbie, relax & enjoy yourself.  And... Ummm.... The "O" won't hurt your little one either, so don't deprive yourself!  Hope to hear a thumbs up or something from you soon!! 

Best Wishes, Hugs, Take Care!!
Sabrina

I have no sex drive either, but mostly because I don't feel sexy being pregnant with this expanding waistline and gaining weight- and the hormones are killing it for me too.  We used to do it a few times a week and now hubby is lucky to get it once a week and it's usually every 2 weeks now.   I'm hoping my sex drive comes back after the baby is born cuz this SUCKS!  I feel bad for him too because he went from a few times a week to hardly at all now.  But we already have 2 kids and are busy with work, school, and just everyday life so sex is kind of on the backburner sometimes.  

As for me, since I got pg, we have been really careful to just have normal sex and nothing too crazy (which we normally weren't crazy before, lol) and I haven't seen any blood.  I like sex right now for the closeness mostly too, not so much the actual sex part.  I think you should be fine.  

Now sex after you have the baby is a little worrisome for some people too.  I tore a little with my son and we waited for 3 weeks until we did it and I was a little sore.  With my daughter, I tore all 4 layers of skin down there (my doc said I had a vaginal c-section) and he said it was absolutely mandatory that I waited the full 6 wks to do it.  I was scared to even tear the stitches after my 2nd so I didn't want it before the 6 wks either.  Plus, that's when I got my IUD in, so after I had that in, I felt better to do it again because I was protected.

My hubby and I are just as we were before, no real change in drive etc.  The only thing that changes is when is underway and on the ship....but as far as the after math if you would to call it that...I don't really see any change in discharge to say....the only big difference I notice is that there is not need for any KY or anything, I have no problemo there.  As far as the baby, I have read and found to be true; afterwards she pretty calm and I don't feel her for awhile...my readings indicate that having sex often contracts the uterus and is like hugging or even rocking the baby to sleep....From my understanding, as long as your dr, isn't indicating other wise, sex is perfectly heathly.

Good luck ....Stacey

Eh... My sex drive comes and goes... but we did it with my daughter no problems and we have done it with these ones no problems...I can see where you would worry but if your up for it do it...  I like to think it keeps my man happy... Cuz when I get further along he ain't getting any...lmao Unless I am trying to go into labor of course...lol

I really could care less about sex right now.  It's been that way the whole time.  I think we've DTD 4 times since the baby was conceived.  Now that we know I have marginal placenta previa, we're both even more freaked out about it.  The times we have done it, there's been no discharge or blood at all.

okay so maybe i'm a perv.  while as my OB put it,  i'm "barely pregnant" (around 6 weeks, will know for sure on tuesday!), nothing has changed in our sex life, which means we have sex 1-2 times per day. and while clearly besides the hormones there haven't been any changes in my body ( i worry a lttle how i'll feel when i start being unable to wear the cute clothes i've worked so hard to fit into), the boy has been so sweet and supportive and keeps telling me how he seems even more attracted to me because he knows now we're going to be parents.  now, all perviness aside, you shouldn't do anything you don't feel like doing.  however, for what it's worth i can tell you, as a physician, that aside from very few exceptions (like an incompetent cervix, bad placenta previa etc), there is NO danger to having sex.  not for you, not for baby, not if it's sweet and romantic, not if it's raynchy and raw.  enjoy what you and nyour partner enjoy, and don't worry about the kiddo. 

Thanks for all the replies!  WEll....we tried yesterday...apparently I'm a virgin again.  That hurt!!!  And...he took his time with me...getting me where I needed to go...but dang!  I don't know...I felt so bad...poor guy hadn't had any in 5 mths and we were kind of pervs before too seeing as we had none before we got married...so he went from at LEAST once a day to nothing.   I'm just now trying to figure out why it hurt so dang bad.  Makes me never want it again to be honest.  Whew.  And yeah...he is gifted as you would say...awww well...nothing bad happened, didn't see anything of concern at all...I guess I'll just have to keep doing it and maybe it'll feel good again...I can hope!

sweetie.... when you go a bit without doing the deed things tend to "tighten" back up.... Also i am sure you were nervous and having a hard time focusing and enjoying, therefore things might not have been "lubed" up as they might normally have been.... I am sure next time will be easier now that you know nothing bad will happen.... get some water based lube for next time just in case... i think it hurt cause you had a bad case of the nerves.... enjoy :)

Oy hun, sorry it hurt this last time you tired. But i agree after not having sex for a long time things tighten up again. KY is the best, but you may need alittle more help getting in the mood. Try having him give you a body massage so you are relaxed. But most of all.. you need not feel guilty. That can't be helping the situation. I was in the same boat your in now. But i always felt guilty that he was not getting anything, that i  kinda give in and felt like it was dutyish. Once we talked about it.. things just kinda fell in to place. and if you dont feel comfortable having sex.. there are other things you can do for him, so he can be releaved. But whatever you do. Make it fun.. If you enjoy it, he will enjoy it and youll relax.