Random Thoughts...

The one thing you have to keep in mind is that even those who suffer before getting pregnant don't always love actually BEING pregnant once they get that way. Some of the biggest complainers I have met in RL and on message boards are those who struggled to begin with because while they are struggling they get this idea in their head that pregnancy is the most beautiful thing in the world, and that every minute of it is going to be amazing, and when the reality hits that its not that way for everyone, there is some disappointment and it can be a huge let down.

I have been though infertility and loss (four early m/c that we know of, and one late 2nd trimester), and I hated every minute of being pregnant (both times). I honestly could not wait for it to be over and to just have my babies in my arms. I am not good at being pregnant, I worry and fret, drive my doctors and family crazy, and make myself hysterical over the slightest things because of the fact that my body has let me down in the past. Did I feel like the worlds most blessed person when my babies finally got here, you bet, but it didn't change the fact that I didn't like being pregnant and I was pretty vocal about that fact.

The truth is, with pregnancy and motherhood, that most of us don't really have any idea what we are in for until we are already in the midst of it. Most of us have this idealized version of the events that will take place for both, and when it does not happen the way we pictured it, it can be quite a shock. I don't think anyone is ever really prepared for the crazy hormone swings, aches, 24 hour nausea, and in many cases pain that takes your breath away, and when it happens people either complain or freak out thinking something is wrong, and I think its good that they have a place to come where others can commiserate. So while I can completely understand your feelings on the subject, I can see the other side of it too.

I can completely agree with you.

However to ***** every day... about the same **** time and time again... It just gets old. Honestly... Many have left this board because its the same people over and over and over again. My god we have lost some of the greatest people who had the greatest knowledge because of this.

Sorry. Didn't mean to go off on a rant there...

Rant away! I don't mind at all.  There are many posts that I skip right over because I just can't handle them, so I understand the sentiment.

I believe I came to the board shortly after there was some kind of drama and alot of the "regular" posters had already left so I never got a chance to know them, but from reading some of the posts from way back I think a lot of knowledge and the chance for amazing advice went with them when they left. Hopefully someday some of them will feel comfortable coming back, because I think the board would benefit from it.

I can see both sides of this.

I hated being pregnant of every single day of both of my pregnancies.  TO call my pregnancies pure hell would be an understatement simply because I was in agony the entire time.

But I didn't dwell on it day in and day out.  Some do.  Not because I was congizant of others' but honestly because if I did I'd be even more mired in how absolutely miserable my life was.  If I were to complain about it, I don't know what I would have done.

So yeah, I can see both sides of this debate, and that's all I will say about this.

Andrea - I can completely understand your situation. I seek much advice from you. And you have been a great support. You are one of the many regulars that are truly missed around here! 

I  think both pregnant women and TTC women need support. And that's why they come on here. I don't think we should say that 'pregnant women complain and shouldn't post their complaints' OR 'TTC should have another board' becasue they both sound mean. In my mind, as a pregnant women... I think maybe some ladies 'complain' because they want someone to support them, maybe they don't feel they have that from their spouse or family.. and it's not the same when it comes from another person experiencing the same thing as you are. And face it, your hormones are crazy when your pregnant... and maybe you think your being considerate... and maybe your not. Sometimes it's hard to decipher when you feel crazy, angry, upset, or all 3. I think we should be senstitive all around. And Traci, I pray that God blesses you with a miracle directly from HIS throne before the coming year is over. Because I have seen your positivity throughout your tribulation. God Bless you sister!

Very well said! I hink that everyone should offer support period.

We will see what 2010 brings.

Traci

I've lurked on this board for a while and yes there have been complaints, but more often than not I see an abundance of support, encouragement, love wether pregnant, ttc, having suffered a loss, I've read post after post of thoughts and prayers, advice, comfort, and all the things we should be doing for each other when dealing with every aspect of pregnancy good or bad! As someone who's never been able to concieve It's comforting to see the support that is on this board. We all have our good days and our bad, we complain, we vent, we celebrate, we mourn, and from what I've seen it's all been dealt with as a group. It's comforting for someone TTC to come to this board and see that someone who's been through what they are going through has been able to be successful in having a healthy baby. OF course it's not always easy, but we all have our own experiences and this is a safe place to come and share them with others who have been through all kinds of different things.

I "get" it as far as I can.  I've only had one loss and it was very early on.  I've never struggled with infertility and wish I could offer more of a shoulder to those that do.  I have a very dear friend that has been trying for more than 7 years and has never not once had a bfp.  I wish like crazy I could give her one.

BUT she has never once in the 4 pregnancies I"ve shared with her asked me to not complain, not ***** not experience the joy of pregnancy, not wish the baby would get the hell out now, or anything like that.  nor would she ever.  she has expressed her saddness and her joy in watching me through my 3 healthy )(so far) pregnancies and was there for me in my loss.

support goes both ways. I know I don't frequent a lot of posts here about TTC because I just do not know what to say.  I don't want to say the wrong thing or anything.  yea, this pregnancy has been fantastic for the most part but I'd be lying if I didn't say I can't wait for it to be over.  that doesn't make me a bad person, love my child in my womb any less, or make me disrespectful of those with ttc issues/problems or losses.  

I really wish we could all just get along and learn that no one is posting anything to purposely upset anyone else.  but I won't walk on eggshells all the time either.