Just Venting....

Hey Ladies,

Nothing much going on, just venting.  I usually don't post too much, but sitting here worrying doesn't do me any good so I thought I would just write it down.  Since we are not telling anyone about this pregnancy for awhile a long while, I have no one to really talk too, so I am turning to you all.  Hope I don't become a nag!!!

My biggest problem is I don't see the OB again until the 29th, yeah only 28 more days to go.  I will be almost 10 weeks then (hopefully)  I just have this nagging fear that something is going to go wrong again, maybe its because of my first pregnancy ending with a blighted ovum, I don't know.  I just want this to work so bad. I know he will be sending me for an ultrasound then but not that same day I will get the paperwork and will have to book one....Grrrr, want to see my bean so bad.  My Family Doc is an hour away from me and she doesn't know about the pregnancy as of yet.  I mainly deal with my OB. Since he is the one who is dealing with my fertility and PCOS.  I only see my Fam dr when I am sick or my yearly physical.
 Since my last post on the weekend, my nipples have made themselves known, at least today they have...LOL   The apple juice has helped with the constipation but I don't know if that is a great thing or not.  At least when I am constipated I know things are still good...LOL am I being nutty?  I do hate the uncomfortable situation!!! I still get the crampy feeling like AF is coming but not as often as before.  I tend to get a few cramps while driving the bus, maybe cuz I am sitting for so long, they are not bad, I am just aware of them.  As for the Woohoo, OMG I have not peed so much in my life, every moisture feeling or drip has me running to the toilet and checking for anything and hoping everytime that there will be no blood (SO FAR SO GOOD)This is all stressing me out more!!! 

I know I am supposed to relax but man is it HARD!!!  I am almost at my wits end.  I don't know what to do other than complain...LOL  It is so hard to not be able to talk to friends or family since we are not blabbing until I am somewhere between 13 and 17 weeks (17 will be valentine's day if I can hold out that long).

Anyway Thanks for putting up with me and my blabbering or blubbering you pick...LOL

It is perfectly normal for you to feel this way. Maybe you could call your OB and ask that they at least check your numbers. Explain to the nurse your worry. My docs were very good about that.

Emily

Well... VENT AWAY! AND if it is any comfort - I felt totally different this time around. I was so sick with worry until I went for my ultrasound (I talked her into 8 weeks). ANy chance you can call the Dr and have them run your labs? Maybe even call the family Dr and see if they will do it - little white lie, tell them you should bring them to you first OB appt.

As for feeling different this time, breasts were sore, and PROMINENT early lol. Also, I was nauseous basically from the moment of conception. I was constantly in the bathroom and the constipation is no fun!

I know it is basically impossible but try and relax as much as you can - it is best for you and that little bean of yours!!

Keep us posted

*hugs*

Liz

I am very sorry that you are feeling this way.  I myself share a lot of your fears.  I do have one child but my second pregnancy ended in a loss in August. 

I am fortunate enough though that my OB office allowed me to come in from day 1 and have blood drawn for piece of mind.  Then they scheduled an early ultrasound where I was able to see the baby and the heartbeat. 

I wish that was enough to make me feel less worried.  My next appt is on Dec 9 when I will be approx 10 weeks and I worry everyday. 

I agree with Liz that you should attempt to see either your OB sooner or your family doc so that you don't have to wait this out.  I think it sounds like they are being insensitive. 

I am a member of another online community for women that are pregnant following a loss.  It is a nice place to go and vent because all the women have been there too.  Their motto is faith over fear because we can't control this.  If you think you might like to take a look at that messageboard let me know and I can private message you the info. 

Good luck!

Perfectly normal to be psyched out.  Is there any chance if you called and explained to the OB about how much stress this is putting on you mentally that they might be able to move the appointment up...and maybe arrange the u/s the same day or at least the next day?  I'd hazard a guess if your appt is on 12/29, that they won't get the u/s scheduled until early January, which will just continue w/the stress issues.  Ask your OB or your PCP if they can do the HCG tests, at least.

Good luck...and vent away.  (Un)fortunately, you're not alone in what you're going through, so there are a lot of women on here who can empathize with you.

Girl I totally feel your pain, My first pregnancy ended with a Blightened Ovum as well, and 3 months later I conceived my son (who is now 4) but I remember how nervous I was from the positive pregnancy test to that first ultrasound! Hang in there and take things one day at a time, I know easier said than done!! If it makes you feel any better I have heard of alot of women haivng blightened ovums...but I've yet to hear of anyone having 2, especially back to back. Not to say that it DOSN'T happen, just that I've never heard of it! So best of luck and keep us posted!