OT: Argh- why can't I be happy with the surgery I chose?!

Ok, so it's been a year and a half now since I had my RNY.   After I had the RNY done, I did more research on the VSG and started second guessing myself why I didn't have that sugery done.   But then my doc says I would've only lost 1/2 the amount of weight probably and there was a high chance I'd gain some, most, or all the weight back with VSG.  He also said it's still experimental and not a proven way to lose weight and keep it off.  So most of me is glad that I had the RNY, it's just hard not enjoying food like I used to especially around the holidays.  I keep doing this to myself, going back and forth of loving my RNY and then small moments of wishing I had the VSG done!  I have to vent and let it all out...   someone shake some sense into me! lol

My Mom and then 4 other family members chose the RNY (all within like the past 8 yrs they've all done it) and so I figured it was the right one for me.   I was self pay and my doc did the RNY, DS, LapBand, and the VSG- so I could've chosen any of them w/o worrying about insurance.   With the RNY, I knew that I couldn't drink with my meals and not take any NSAID's and that I'd have to take vitamins for the rest of my life.   But when you really have to do it and know that you'll be doing it for the rest of your life- it's kind of hard to come to reality with, but you have to deal with it and do it!  Well come to find out taking the vitamins was a 3 time a day thing (well with the CC part) and that took some getting used to.   And not taking the NSAID's has been a little difficult at times, especially when I've had a cold or when I had the flu about 2 months ago (for the aches, pains, and fever I had because Tylenol didn't work very well).

But it's just hard sometimes to NOT drink with my meals and I get a little depressed having to wait an hour after I eat to drink something.   And seeing all these wonderful cooking shows lately with all this good food and knowing I can either have just a bite or two or not have it at all (the yummy drinks with the sugary stuff) is so hard.   But then the RNY side of me kicks in and I realize that I'm NOT supposed to eat that way and that's why I got fat in the first place- portion control and I ate wayyyy too much sugar!  But I kinda miss food!  

Or stuff that has cream cheese or a lot of milk in it that I can't eat (slightly lactose intolerant now post op) is hard because it gives me really stinky, bad gas (poor hubby, it's especially bad at  night).   Like I love hot chocolate and not being able to just get one at starbucks, at the store, or just make one at home is hard.  I got the sugar free kind and it tastes barely tolerable, but then it gives me a little bit of stinky gas because of the lactose (milk) that is added in it. 

So I sit there and think yeah, I had the RNY but if I had the VSG I could drink with my meals, take NSAID's (Tylenol does NOT work for me), eat the yummy food- but all just in smaller portions.  But then I worry about not having the dumping syndrome and that helps me control my sugar intake and that doesn't come with the VSG.   With me, I am lucky and can eat about 18 gms of sugar and be fine.  I can have a few oreos or a small amount of M&M's and be fine.  My form of dumping is diarrhea and that's it, but it keeps me in check and I love that part of the RNY.   And I couldn't have lost as much with the VSG (at least I think), my doc says I'd probably only have gotten to 200 lbs or 180 with it-  instead of 140 with the RNY.   And then keeping it off, the RNY helps me do that by the malabsorption and the fear or dumping syndrome.  

So I love my RNY 80% of the time, it's just that other part of the time it bugs me I didn't research more about the VSG.  The what if's and always wondering bugs me sometimes....

Thanks for listening to my rant and pity party.    I'm done now.   :)

I think EVERYONE second guesses their decision to have WLS at some point. 

I love my DS -- I can eat "normally" (even large) portions and I don't gain weight.  I can drink with my meals, eat raw veggies and tons and tons of fat (mmmm....butter!). 

BUT.... one thing I will never be able to have again are "Slurpee" type drinks.... fruit smoothies - made with tons of sugary syrup and things like that give me instant diahrea !!!   Even milk shakes from cheap places (McDonalds, Dairy Queen) bother me. 

Since pregnancy I can handle anything else --- yesterday I ate 2 candy bars, pancakes from Cracker Barrel with syrup, pumpkin pie, crackers, bread stuffing and cranberry sauce. 

Before pregnancy that would have KILLED me....but yesterday I handled it without a problem at all. 

Still I can't drink Slurpees.....and that makes me sad.  I also have a hard time with straight sugar candies (more than a handful) like jelly beans and gummies.  (But they make those sugar free so I enjoy those almost as much.) 

I know there are times when I wish I were "normal".  That is - skinny and able to endulge in anything without wondering "Will this give me gas?"  .  But I wouldn't trade my DS for anything !! 

I think you are perfectly normal to whine about it sometimes.....  now go enjoy your skinny self and be happy with your surgery !!  :-)

Cindy

All I have to say is I had the VSG and I can't eat anything!  It's been a year in Sept.  and I struggle just like you.  I struggled at Thanksgiving with not being about to enjoy food.  I can only eat small amounts and get full sooooo fast.   Sometimes it gets depressing because I feel like I'm never satisified or I think "if I could only eat like a normal person"  :)     No, I don't have dumping ... I just throw up.   :( 
I can't drink with meals either.    I can't eat pasta, pizza or chicken. I throw up everytime.  My favorite foods! .    I miss soda so bad!   Sooooo bad!    I have tried to drink it and it makes me sick .    
But I've lost over 120lbs and I love my VSG! :)    Wouldn't change it for the world.  Sure I have my moments but I would never go back.
I think your just having a "moment"  and if you had the opportunity you wouldn't change a thing. :)
No surgery is the "perfect" surgery.   I think we all struggle with missing food.      At least I do.  

Aww hun! I have the same thoughts everytime one of my family members says "thats all you gonna eat hunnie?" You kinda just give them "the look" and fake a smile and remind them, that this is all i CAN eat!! Then they start to rant and rave about how they heard that surgery kills people, and how they'd never have that cause theyd miss food too much and blah blah blah!! And then i watch them waddle off and sit down and stand up with a grunt. (something i dont do anymore thanks to the 82 lbs gone) and then i remember how thankful i am that my diabetes is gone my high blood pressure is gone, and I forget about not being able to eat what i want (tho i can get away with alot of things, just gotta chew it real good,and i learned how to drink just a sip 15 mins after a bite of food, very complicated process) and remember if i hadnt had this surgery, i wouldnt be here for my kids in ten years cause my stuff was out of control and attacking my kidneys.

The only REAL complaint I have about my surgery, is where i lost the weight at, my thighs are gone and i hate it. I cant find any stretch pants that make me look sexy, even with the weight loss, and I HATE IT!! I have more self esteem issues now that i'm smaller than i did fat. But i had the surgery, only for health reasons, i loved myself fat, so hopefuly ill get adjusted to this body sooner than later. My boyfriend loves it, so i guess thats all good too!!

Honey enjoy your new body and your changed eating habits!! Its for the best!!

Take care!!

Actually, alot of what you want to do we're not supposed to do with VSG either.  Your doctor is wrong about the experimental part, and there are several studies that show it is just about equally effective as the RNY.  Just saying :)

I drink with meals - not much, or I projectile vomit from being overfull, but I do; I drink soda (diet decaf) every day.  I gave it up for about a month but I just couldn't stomach another damn crystal light, they were all sickeningly sweet immediately post op, and I hate plain water.  So I tried soda before I ended up at the ER for dehydration.  It works for me, but I'm not recommending anyone else does it, just that I'm ok with it.  Not everyone is.  I can eat sugary stuff no problem (but I shouldn't! lol) but I can eat a ton more rare steak (oh how I will miss thee when I get pregnant!) than I can bread or pasta.  Al dente pasta is OUT OF THE QUESTION.  A small amount makes me throw up almost right away.  So I have to cook the **** out of my pasta (which luckily doesn't bother me enough to not have it occasionally) and Dreamfields is better for me than regular.

And just to make it a little easier, MANY VSG'ers become lactose intolerant post op.  I kind of wish I had because I'm now on 3 stool softeners and Miralax daily to keep things moving, I suspect it has alot to do with the dairy I consume.  So while I'm pretty lucky on the VSG scale, it's not all sunshine and roses :)  I'll admit not being super well versed on RNY, but could you not occasionally take an NSAID?  Certainly not daily, but if you really need it, once or twice a year?  Just a thought....

T :)

WEll I have RNY and am almost 3 years out. I don't regret it for a second. Yes, I have to eat smaller portions but I am also 140 pounds lighter then I was 3 years ago and PREGNANT something else that wouldn't have happened. I have taken NSAIDS and will again as needed (not while preggo) I just take a pepcid with them. I take small sips with my meals as needed. LActose intolerance - yea I can't have ice cream or regular milk, but these days they make almost everything in a soy version. There are such good sugar subs out there that I don't miss out on anything sweet related.

Hope that you were just having a down moment and feel better now :)

Liz

yep, just having a down moment and missing food.  I think it's because it's especially hard during these 2 main holidays, where food is so GOOD and ABUNDANT!!   Once I get past the holidays, I think I'll be much better.   Thanksgiving was especially hard to suffer through for a few days this year, even though I could eat more this time.   I sat there and ate a small plate of food and then was so uncomfortable, probably cuz I ate a little too fast and a little too much food.  And probably ate a little too much of my sister's yummy cranberry pretzel jell-o (which is loaded with sugar!!).   And partly too cuz I'm preggo and get tired easily, digesting all that food is a lot of work!  lol   ;)  

But that's why I came on here when I was feeling down, because all you good people have been through what I have and can help me feel better with my decision.   Like I said, most of me is happy I had this done and have lost the 130 pounds and can keep it off.   I'm glad I have to limit my sugar and can have just 1-2 oreos or stuff like that and be ok w/o dumping.   So I can at least enjoy what I used to, just in a lot smaller amounts.   :)

Like today, I made some homemade banana waffles for my family and I had just one square with some whipped cream on top (no syrup!).   The old me would've had like 6 waffles (3 sets of 2 belgian squares) and loaded em with syrup and butter.  And then probably 2 big glasses of milk to wash em down with!  So I'm doing much better portion wise and controlling the sugar I eat.  I'm glad I can have some milk (just 1 cup at a time) and not be totally lactose intolerant.   It's good to know that it's not greener on the other side too, that people with VSG have some of the same type of problems we as RNY'ers do.  

But then there's the human "normal stomach" part of me that comes out every so often that reallly misses food and drinking with my meals- and all the normal stuff before I had my RNY.  I have to tell her that I'm fine and that I am happy with my RNY and the old me wasn't eating healthy.   I know we all go through these weak moments, I'm just glad I have a support group like you all to help me through it!  Thanks!   :)

Hi Christie,
I know how hard it is to be around the holidays with all the food.  I am over 4 years post op and on my second baby after having RNY.  I know you said you are suppose to wait an hour before/after eating to drink.  My doc's gave us the 30 minute rule.  I do eat and drink at the same time though.  I was really good with it at first, but after getting pregnant I found I needed to drink with my meals. 

I always think to myself that I can try 1 bite of whatever I want.  That way I don't feel I am depriving myself of any holiday meals. 

good luck!  pretty soon the holidays will have passed us by.

Bambi

I usually try and wait at least 45 mins to an hour after I eat because I like to stay full for a while and not wash the food out too soon when I drink.  My doc gave the 30 min rule and sometimes I do drink 30 mins after my meal, but it's mostly longer so I can keep that full feeling.   But there have been times I have taken just a small sip of water with a meal, when I'm eating something dry like bread or just after I've eaten and I think that's ok.    I don't really mind the waiting 30 mins before eating though, I think that was more for when we were newly post op.   Now, I am pretty sure the water or fluids we drink go through the pouch pretty quick and so I drink just up until a few minutes before eating. 

And I try to take a bite of most everything I can so I don't deprive myself either.   Like hubby got a mint brownie after a yummy lunch we had out on Wed and I had at least 3 small bites of it- soo good!