homeschool/unschool/attachment parenting

i was reading up on the attachment parenting thing... i find it interesting on why people do things that seem like such a far away idea to me.. anyway... wikipedia summed it up in a few words.. well bascailly actions that make it called attachment parenting...

natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, natural health, cooperative movements, naturism and support of organic and local foods.

so here are the questions... they mentioned homeschool and unschooling... i looked up unschooling and i  looked up homeschooling...i understand the concept of homeschooling... however this unschooling is just confusing... they also call it natual learning which implys to me that the kids will only learn what they want to because thats what they show interest in... and that parents will use "life experience" instead of text books...i doubt life experience will get you to pass any type of testing thats needed to actually get into an upper level learning school... anyone have any other ways to descibe or opinions on this?

natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, natural health, cooperative movements, naturism and support of organic and local foods.

Hee hee, this description forgot cloth diapering, delayed/no vaxing and gentle/positive discipline (meaning no hitting or yelling).

We are an AP family, but do not homeschool or unschool. My triplets had special needs that I could not meet if I homeschooled them, and once they where in school they just blossomed so we have chosen to leave them in, and Matty will most likely follow in their foot steps.

As for un-schooling, I really don't understand it, nor do I advocate for it because I think that most parents are not cut out to do it, and you need someone who is dedicated to it so that the child IS exposed to everything, and I think it has the potential to backfire in many situations.

Well, I'm not sure what they are defining as attachment parenting. As a psychologist, I have to say that you could do all those as a parent and still not have an ideal or adaptive attachment style with your child. Attachment is not so complicated. It is formed in the early years through positive interactions with a sensitive caregiver who is able to anticipate and respond to the baby's needs. There are several styles of attachment that are considered normal, and then attachment disorders, which are usually not present without severe abuse and neglect. Attachment is made in the everyday moments, not in the big things like school decisions or cloth diapers. Those would fall more under preferred styles of parenting, but are not necessarily going to guarantee that your attachment relationship with your child is any healthier than those of us who are busy, working moms who do send our kids to school and take the occasional kid-free vacation. Most of what you're describing really would be considered parenting preferences, and they can be good or bad, and are really up to the parents in question and what they are comfortable with for their family, which is important too, but not from an attachment perspective. Also, attachment is largely based on your own experience of being parented, and parenting choices like those you've mentioned really don't alter that pattern much. Just a few thoughts. There are some good books on attachment as a concept, if you're interested. It might help you understand the real scientific concept of attachment which is incredibly important to child development versus parenting practices borrrowing the name.

Carrie

i think its interesting they have names for ways of parenting.... i dont follow any one way... i do the "What works for us is what we do" way... i work full time and more then understand kid free vacations... what are the names of the books?

If you go to Amazon, you can type in John Bowlby and get some of his really cheap- he pioneered attachment work, and would be the easiest to get into. He has a really good one called, "Home is where we start from." His work will then lead you to others you may want to check out.

Carrie

I am an "AP" type parent if you really want to call it that. We homeshool/unschool as well. I'd rather call it unstructured schooling because we do use text books, work books, Internet, library, and many other resources as well. however we aren't structured in our schooling either. We do kind of follow our children's lead and if they ask a question we help them find the resources to learn the answer to their question.

I have a spectrum of learners too. I have a child who has a learning disability all the way to a kid who taught himself how to read by the age of 3 (he was reading just before he turned 3), and everything in between.

My LD child's therapist said to keep her out of school because if we were to place her in school she'd regress a lot of the progress she has made.

My early reader is a self sufficient learner. He will automatically go to the library (in our house) and pull out the book he wants and just read when ever and where ever. My 9yo however needs more encouragement and my 6 & 7 yo are making headway but aren't interested as much in book learning. But we do reading lessons as well as math lessons and even English lessons from time to time. I am always doing spelling tests and I work on grammar because I can't stand people who don't understand the difference between simple words like your & you're or their, there, and they're among other things. I'm amazed at how many adults can't even get those ones right. It boggles my mind, really!

My older ones are learning their times tables and even some division. So I don't think we are behind on much of anything. We also are involved with a few homeschooling groups, and one group is an unschooling group like us and we get together and do activities and other field trips.

Oh and I don't homeschool because I want to control my children's religious upbringing either.  We're actually Atheists/Secular Humanists so religion isn't a factor for homeschooling and there are a lot of non-religious homeschooling groups out there.

I only cloth diapered for a little bit, but I couldn't keep up with laundry for such a large family. But I don't do elimination communication either. That just seems like a PITA. I do make and wear slings. I birth at home unassisted. We don't vax and we don't circumcise. I breastfeed or exclusively pump, and we co-sleep.

We don't buy organic or "local foods" because they are too expensive. I'm happy with my regular normal foods. I like my Huggie diapers. I may consider public school in the future if we need to. I am not "anti" circumcision. We don't BF until the kid is 3 or 5, and I only co-sleep for about the first 6 months and then the kid sleeps in a crib in our room. I still have my youngest in our room in the crib, LOL I'm only a SAHParent right now because no one is hiring and I would love to have a job so we could have some extra money. I am not a baby wearing freak to the point where I'll wear my baby all day long like some people do. That to me is impossible. I'd kill my back and I like my personal space.

There are extremes for all parenting choices and I do what's right for me/us. I of course don't consider myself an "AP" parent though. I am a "this is what works for us" kind of parent, and it indeed works for us.

I could try and justify my children's education by listing everything they can and can't do but it'd take forever. I just know I will not let my kids be dumb and ignorant like one woman I met online. We started chatting through IM online and she could not spell worth $^%&@#. No puncuation and sentence structure was atrocious! I thought she was mentally delayed or a kid until she told me she was in her 30's and her mom "homeschooled" her. On the other end of the spectrum I've met some very smart people who went to ivy league colleges who were homeschooled as well. So I agree it all depends on the parent who is teaching and it all depends on the child and how much work they are willing to put into learning.

Nothing's perfect. I even know people who "graduated" public high school and still couldn't spell, read, or do simple math.

I am seriously impressed! You are living my dream LOL I am not as good at baby making as I had hoped when I was younger, otherwise I would have as many as you do (and much in the same manner as you have!).
 
It sounds like what you do works for you, and your kids are learning, and that is the key. I have met many moms who have the best of intentions, but they just don't have the skill set to homeschool and their children suffer because of it. I know my limits, and I think it would be bad for me and my children if we homeschooled, they need structure (must get that from their father LOL) and I am totally unstructured and undisciplined, so we don't work very well together as my style does not meet their needs.

I do call myself AP because what I do fit's the definition of it, but really to me, it just seems like common sense parenting. Babies have needs, it's our job to meet them, even if its just to comfort them and provide a warm set of arms to make them feel secure.

I look forward to getting to know you better and reading your posts, it sounds like you have some really great guidance and advice to give.

I have considered homeschooling because our neighborhood is terrible and the schools are like prisons.  The kids don't learn there.  We can't afford the school we want for Laurel so are trying to figure out alternatives. 

I have opinions about AP and they range from -- that's what nature intended ... to... Parents won't let their kids emotionally or physically separate from them and are doing harm.  Depends on my mood.  He he.

Holy Smokes! I don't know about any of this. Its like your speaking a foreign language. Crap, I better stick to dogs and forget this whole baby thing!