not sure what to think

A couple years ago after multiple failed infertility treatments we looked into adoption and also using a surrogate. We are still on the adoption waiting list but not very hopeful anymore. The traditional surrogate programs we found were way beyond our budget but after some time a lady that I work with offered to be our surrogate for free but it did not work out for many reasons. She has two kids already and did not want anymore but really liked being pregnant.
Yesterday at work I found out she is pregnant from her current boyfriend.  I did not feel it was proper to ask questions but I think this was a big shock to her and the boyfriend and not planned. I am happy for her and hope things work out. It just makes me feel weird looking at her and knowing soon that i will have to watch her belly grow daily wishing things had worked out differently. Just not sure how to feel. **sigh**

Tami

For any of you new ladies that don't know me.............I have one child that is now 18. It took me 4 years to get pregnant with her. I had WLS only to lose weight to overcome infertility to have more kids however it did not work. I had 6 failed IUI's. We have tried on and off to have a second child since Emily was about 3. I will be 43 in March and my time is running out. We followed all the adoption rules and have been approved but we still wait for the big phone call. The message above explains how the surrogate program worked. I still lurk on OH but don't post as much as I did in the past but I still like to keep up with everyones updates. You can find me on facebook more than OH pregnancy. If you want to send a friend request for FB please send me a private message and I will give you the link.

Hug your babies and enjoy every moment. You are blessed.

Tami

I'm sure the mixed feelings are perfectly normal Tami.  It's probably even a little more mixed up because you know that this woman had been considering being a surrogate for you. 

[[HUGS]]

Tami, that is such an awkward situation. Is she happy about the baby? I wonder if she is considering adoption. I hope you get a baby soon. HUGS

Hi Tami,

I've thought of you often and it's nice to see you post, even though the cir****tances are bittersweet for you.  I think you're entitled to feel as you do.  At one point, you found hope with her as a surrogate.  I can't imagine how invested you became in the potential, but not having it work out would certainly be a disappointment.  On the bright side though, at least she is choosing to keep the baby and not abort.  Personally, I used that logic to help myself feel better when the day of my 12 wk m/c, my dear friend announced she was pregnant unexpectedly.  I thought it would be hard to be around her every day (we also worked together) and see her growing belly, but it actually turned out to be healing to know that she was so attached to that little life and that she would be (and is) a great mom.  I love that little baby like my own, and she is now 13 years old!  Did that make sense?

I'm here if you need to vent and I truly wish you peace through this journey.

Hugs,

Tami...that is a tough situation. I am sorry you will be going through these emotions. I keep you in prayer that your dream of a second child will come true one way or another. Shari

im sorry. i hope you get that call soon.