Nagging Doubts

Hi Ladies -

I'm finally in my second trimester.  It seems like the first 13 weeks took 13 years.

I know I should be thrilled and on some level I am but I'm still not convinced that I'll actually be holding my baby in 6 months.

I think a lot of the reason is that I have not had any symptoms the entire time.  I've never had morning sickness.  I've had some breast tenderness but nothing very painful.  I have had fatigue but not the kind that has me nodding off at my desk and going to bed as soon as I get home.  The fatigue actually reminds me of how I felt 24/7 when I weighed 350 pounds.  I feel the same way I did with my last pregnancy which ended in a missed miscarriage, although much earlier.

For the first 12 weeks I was seeing an RE and had frequent sonograms to keep track of progress.  My last one was at 12 weeks and the baby was bouncing all around and looking very much like a baby.  However, I'm terrified that I'm going to go to my OB next Tuesday and find out that it's over.

I've had no signs that anything is wrong...no pain...no bleeding, but I didn't have any of that when I miscarried so that doesn't reassure me.

Not sure why I'm even putting this out there.  Maybe I'm just wondering if anyone else is feeling the same way.  I really don't need another person to tell me I'm lucky that I have no symptoms because it's actually scary to me...I would welcome some nausea because that would mean something is normal.

That's all.  Thanks for listening.

I also am not feeling the pregnancy symptoms like I think I should and that worries me too. I'm sure its much more scary for you cause of your previous loss. I know I was scared during my first pregnancy that something was going to go wrong, up until I could feel the baby move, then it was like daily reassurance that everything was ok. I hope that all continues to go well with you and you can start to feel the baby move soon.  I don't really have any advice just thought I'd share my feelings with you.

Completely normal.  Yes- I find the tiredness compairs to when I was extremely over weight.  Ironic- probably why it is so frustrating to me, it makes me feel disabled.  I admit I fight it as much as possible, and possibly push myself to far.  But- it helps me cope with it.  Though I had mood swings from my progesterone supplements until I hit about 15 weeks.  Then it leveled out for sometime, and I really felt pregnant when baby would hit / kick me around 25 weeks.  Though I did feel it prior to that, but those kicks are eye openers.   This forum is for support and to vent.  Try to keep positive, and I had many restless nights prior to visits and u/s until I could feel the baby.

I am currently pregnant with triplets and as with my other pregnancies (4 previous) I had no morning sickness.  I also have fatigue and it was just like you said, felt like when I was overweight.  I felt panicky during my pregnancies around the same time you are.  The baby isn't big enough to feel move around, you are not really growing much bigger and it just doesn't seem like it is real.  I would end up taking multiple pregnancy tests to reassure myself that I really was pregnant.

In a few weeks you will begin feeling that little bundle kicking and rolling and getting hiccups and that is when you will start getting regular reassurance that it is real and the baby is safe and that you really ARE pregnant.  It is hard not to be anxious but at least you have been seeing regular ultrasounds and see the growth and the activity.  It helps some but still seems unreal because there is a disconnect between the picture and your lack of symptoms or expectations of a pregnancy, it truly seems surreal.

With this pregnancy it was very ODD and disconnected because I am HUGE.  I was measuring in the 30 week range with my uterus but I couldn't feel any movement because the babies were all to small.  Having been pregnant four times before I am used to feeling everything when I am this large so it was quite stressful, constantly felt that there must be something wrong since I couldn't feel them.  Now I feel them all the time and once again I get that daily reassurance that everything is alright with them.

What you are feeling is totally NORMAL and it will not be too much longer before things will change enough for you to feel more comfortable with the reality of the pregnancy.  I know it is not easy to relax, but the best thing to do is try to and just do whatever it is you can to reassure yourself.  You are doing good and remember that every woman has different experiences with pregnancy, what is normal for you may not be normal for anyone else.

How are you doing???

Doing okay this morning.  They allowed me some sleeping meds last night and pain meds too so I am more relaxed.  Still having some breakthroughs so they are going to adjust my meds some more and see if they cannot get them to stop.  They are also going to do an ultrasound and see if my cervix has changed anymore or if it has stabilized.  Could go home if things calm down and stabilize.

Well hopefully you'll get to go home soon. Hang in there... I know that is easier said than done.  :)

I feel the same exact way.  IDK why I've had no reason to feel that way except some mild spotting at 4 weeks.  I've heard the heartbeat twice and I'm almost 16 weeks and I still feel that way.. I hope it's normal!

I really can't offer too much advice... I'm still TTC...  but I can tell you that you've got a great group of women here to fall back upon when you need support.  They're here to re-assure you..   and put you at ease.  Especially since this is all new tosome of us, we're not sure what to expect. We're all here for you....  

I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my daughter. This time, I am so sick I thought something was wrong because of that! Of course, then I found out I am expecting twins, no wonder! I think we are all natural worriers, especially after a loss. I think it is normal, and I hope you can find some reassurance soon! Try keeping a journal. I write down all my anxieties and worries pretty thoroughly, and I find it helps me process things. Especially now with the thought of twins! Just an idea. Good luck!

Carrie