New to this board and frustrated

Greetings!  I'm a little more than 1 year post op (RNY) and have been trying without success for the last couple months to get pregnant.  I have a 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old, both conceived when I was over 325 pounds.  Now that I'm 180, I can't seem to get pregnant!  I am so disheartened because I'd read over and over how easily people conceived after surgery.  Granted.... I'm 39 now, so I know my fertility chances are dropping by the day.  I so want another baby though...

Any words of wisdom or support appreciated in advance!

Linda

I know all about that biological clock that's screaming in you're ear - I'm 41 1/2 - but at 39, I'd say you still have some time.  I have gotten pg relatively easily, beginning right before I turned 40...I just can't seem to STAY that way....which has nothing to do w/the WLS.

I'd say keep trying...I think most drs. say at your (our) age, give it 6 months or so, then see a specialist.  Get yourself a book called 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility,' which will help you learn how to chart your cycle to find your most optimum time for you to get pg.

Hang in there and be patient...it'll happen in God's time...

Welcome to the board.

HI there and thanks for the reply.  Your absolutely right, it'll happen in God's time.... I'm just being selfish and impatient.  The last cycles were all charted and couldn't have been more optimum or regular.  I guess that's feeding my frustration. 

I don't mean to complain.  I have been blessed with 2 beautiful and healthy children and I don't forget that for one second.  I'm just anxious because of my age.  Although I know lots of moms have babes after 40.  It's just that when one looks at the statistics, they're a little scary!!

Will just keep trying and enjoying every minute with my sweeties.  Very best of luck to you! 

Linda

LOL - don't get me wrong...I didn't say you can't complain!  I've said before...each month you wait and see if AF is coming or not...and when you get the answer that this is not your month...you have to accept it - what else can you do? - but that doesn't mean you have to like the answer.

I have a 14 year old son whom I got pg relatively quickly - less than 5 months w/o doing any 'serious' (ie charting/temping) trying.  Now I'm 41 1/2 (42 in March), started TTC again 3 months before my 40th b-day...and got pg on my first try...and miscarried.  My DH was in Egypt w/his family, and as soon as he came back, I got pg on the first try...and miscarried.  Got pg again 4 months later and miscarried...had one IUI (due to the screaming biological clock) and got pg...and miscarried.  I just had IUI again last week and am in the 2ww to see if it worked this time. I'm drugged to the hilt - estrogen the first half of the cycle to build up the uterine wall because I don't make enough on my own to make it thick enough to sustain a pregnancy, then progesterone (pretty strong doses I think) 3x a day in the 2nd half of the cycle.  It's been determined I have a few genetic mutations for blood clotting disorders - though no blood clotting history - and I take 2 baby aspirin a day, 5,000 mg folic acid a day, and when I get pg, I take daily injections of blood thinnners.  Hopefully....PRAYERFULLY....all this combo will work...and soon - because I know that I can't keep up this drug regimine (especially the estrogen/progesterone) indefinitely.

One of my best friends - I've known her since I was 20 years old - has a son who's one month older than mine.  She's 8 months older than I am...and just had her second baby in September, a month after her 42nd birthday.  She's my hope and inspiration that it can happen for me too, since I'll be 42 in March.

I just remind myself that there's no guarantees that continued trying will bring me another baby...but there's a pretty big guarantee that if I don't continue to try, it ain't going to happen.  I also remind myself to be thankful every day that I have the son I have...because unfortunately, there are too many women - on this board and in 'general population' who haven't even been blessed with that.

Hi again Holly,

Thanks for the reply again.  I'll of course keep trying and keep my chin up....  the last 2 cycles have been hard because of false hope.  Positive pregnancy symptoms, late period, than 2 days later whamo.  This is after I've had 28 day cycles for the last 6 months.  Last month I was so sure because I felt just like I did when pg with my daughter.  But.... not to be.

I want to with you all the luck in the world with this regimen you're enduring!!  I will keep you in my prayers as well.  I think we all  need to remember... what's meant to be will be.  The difficulty lies in accepting that fact.

Anyway.... very very best wishes,
Linda

I have a hard time getting pregnant...and then when I do, staying pregnant.  The double whammy.

However, a few months is really not much.  The average is 8 months to conceive.  Based on your age, though...if still not having any lucky by the 6th try with good timing, etc., go see an RE.  My hunch is that you won't need to.

Good luck.

Hi Ann,

Thanks for the reply, and I'm sorry about all the miscarriages.  I have no right to complain at all.  I feel horrible about being and seeming so impatient.  You're right, a few months isn't much.  I just thought after having no problems conceiving with the other 2 (3 actually, miscarried one) that I wouldn't have any problems.  I'm trying to keep the kids close in age and I guess this is feeding into my anxieties. 

Anyway thanks for your kind words and very best of luck to you!
Linda

no advice... but wanted to say welcome

It is rough but you just have to be patient. Stress doesn't help the situation. I am over 1 1/2 years into trying. I have unexplained infertility. Nothing is wrong with hubby or I! After three IUI's I got pregnant and miscarried at 8 1/2 weeks. Then, IUI #4 failed. I got pregnant on my own with what the RE thinks was twins (one in the uterus and one in the tube). I took the Methotrexate to dissolve the pregnancies since once was ectopic there was no way it would be viable. 

I say all this to say HANG IN THERE! It gets frustrating and tests your tolerance level but if you want it bad enough you will just hang in there. Chart and all that then after six months go to an RE. They may help you get pregnant and ensure you stay that way.

Best of luck! We are here to listen when you want to vent :) We all want it now so when it doesn't happen in our time it is so hard to accept!

Traci

Just wanted to say you have good advice already. Try 6 months then see an RE. The average time for a healthy couple is about 8 months. I don't think you will have a problem though. I post on fridays for those of us TTC (trying to conceive) feel free to join in for extra support. Shari