I don't know what to do.............. So frustrated!

I had Zander at the doctors on 10/6 (he turned 10 months on the 13th) and was told by the doctor that he's still at the bottom of the growth charts when compared to others his age (blah, blah, blah)...  His stats on the 6th were: 16lbs 10 oz and 27 1/2 inches tall....

She said to start basically feeding him the things we are eating & to just blend them up and make them a good consistency so he can swallow it... Of course we can continue baby food (Stage 2 Fruits & Veggies) too...

The problem is: I can't get him to eat anything!!!! The past few days have been really, really bad with his eating... Yesterday he ate maybe 1 jar of Stage 2 foods all thru the day & would much rather drink formula or juice... Today same thing, actually even worse because he ate less food, even cried at me when I tried to feed him his cereal mixed with fruit that he normally loves...

I am at a loss on what to do... I feel like I'm a bad mom or that I am not doing something right for my son... Basically, I feel like sh#$ because he's small and is NOT growing like others his age... There are babies out there that are his size at 4-5 months of age... WTH am I doing wrong here???

I understand there is the fact that he's cutting teeth and such... But how is he EVER going to grow or get into a normal growth range if he won't eat??? Then of course, if my sister or mom have him he eats ok for everyone else and it makes me look like I am a liar about him not eating... I just seriously don't know what to do...

I would like to hear from other mom's who've had these issues with smaller that average babies with eating issues.... I just want to know that I am not alone in this... I just want to cry, which may sound stupid to you all but I am at my wits end on how to get my son to gain weight... You can't FORCE FEED a baby.....  HELP!!!!!

My niece was the same way.  She was born at 28 weeks but she didn't have the growth spurts as they expected.  Have you noticed if Zander likes sweet or sour things?  With her, she liked sour/tangy (lemon, lime, garlic, parm/sharp cheddar cheese, lemon pepper seasoning).  We were told by her Pedi to add those things to her diet to get her to eat when she was about 10mths old.  We were also instructed to give her Carnation Instant breakfast or Pediasure once or twice a day to help her gain weight.  She was the only baby that I know who would only eat garlic-parm mashed potatoes.  Zander is just going through showing his personality.  If he will only take a bottle from you, you may want to try to give him his food through a feeding bottle (if you haven't already tried it).  Experiment a little when it comes to food choices.  Try feeding him off of your plate.  I don't know what it is about that BUT, it seems as if kids think that mom's food always taste better.

You are not a bad mom.  You are a very good mother because you are willing to ask and try everything under the son to make Zander happy and healthy.  .  Good luck with your newest feeding adventure!!!!  You can do it and Zander will eat and be a happy and healthy little one!!!!

Thanks for the input...  Zander does like sweet things a lot we've noticed... Usually no problems when it comes to fruits although sometimes even with those he eats a little bit & quits on us.... He was at my mom's today and ate mashed potatoes & gravy for her w/o much problem... I guess it just goes in spurts with him...

We took the advice of the feeding bottle and are going back to that for a while... With him teething like he is, perhaps that is a lot of it... I gave him some fruit mixed w/ formula and he took it all down... 

I know this will all pass in time and I am being way to hard on myself... It's my nature I guess... But I say if the feeding bottle works and he eats, then I am sticking to that until he starts showing interest in eating from a spoon again....

Again thanks for your help... I do appreciate it much!!!

Kaida didn't really even start eating much baby food til she was right around a year old.  she just wasn't interested in much of it.

How much juice does he get?  maybe take that out and just do more formula? 

You aren't doing ANYTHING wrong.  not every child grows fast.  my son was always at the 20th or below.  he is a healthy kid.  small doesn' tmean unhealthy.

hugs

Thanks for the input Mandy... I'm feeling a bit better about things today... As far as juice, he is drinking about 4 - 8 oz of apple or white grape juice throughout the day... IT's the only thing that will keep his BM's regular for us... If I don't give him that much juice he plugs up... Not good...

We've gone back to using the feeding bottle again starting tonight... He ate really good so I am going to stop trying to get him to eat from a spoon at each feeding... I know this will all work out in time... My sister said her kids went thru times like this right before cutting a tooth (he has a bump up top and two bottom teeth are in already)...

The doc did say he was healthy though, just smaller than she'd like to see him... I know he'll probably take off once his teeth aren't bothering him so much...

Thanks again for the help... I appreciate it...

My oldest son did not hit 20 pounds till he was 2 years old and I always got the same lines from the doc. Make him eat. What does he eat? Are you not giving him enough and all the same kinds of things. I did not force him to eat. I encouraged it and worked hard at getting anything in him at all. So after all that worry and all once he turned 2 he slowly started to gain and by the time he was 6 years old he was terribly overweight and then I got the opposite from all the docs. I was so angry. Now that he is a teenager he has evened out nicely and I dont have to hear anything from the docs. I think all kids are different. Sure they all grow at different rates and all and I hate that sometimes our kids dont fit the "NORM" but as long as you know he is eating and you are doing all you can, dont worry too much. All you can do is keep feeding him.
I also have a 11 year old that just now hit 65 pounds. The docs have been worried about him for a few years. Worry about anorexia and all that. He eats. Of course his therapist suggested I start him on a protein shake or even a milkshake once a day to up his calories. Now I will give him a milkshake maybe once a week or twice a week but I just do the same with him. I encourage him to eat. Ask him to eat a little more when he thinks he is done. I let him add things to his food like honey on ham and things like that to help him since he hates all condiments honey works best. He has gained maybe 5 in the past 6 months since starting this but I dont worry a whole lot.

Both of my boys do take daily vitamins now. I guess they got something good after the bypass cause I insisted they start. They also look at food labels a lot now so for my youngest it can be frustrating since I am trying to get him to gain weight and he says but gosh this has a lot of sugar are you sure its good for me??
Kids will be kids. Just do your best and relax!!!

Shannyn

Thanks for the input... We give him a wide variety so he's not eating the same things all the time... I know that's important to give them variety so they don't get bored with it... Usually he will eat a veggie for lunch, a fruit or another veggie for dinner and then before bed it's usually cereal (mixed or oatmeal w/ fruit mixed in)... He had been eating good up until this past week... We did notice he has a tooth coming in up top so that may be part of the problem...

We've went back to the feeding bottle as a backup should he not eat for us off a spoon... If it works, thats all I care about... He will grow out of this phase too in time...

would it help to mix some food into his bottle with the formula? Like sweet potatoes, bananas, pears anything pureed - I know he is probably eating more advanced foods that these ,but it would just be a boost to his bottle! :) Isn't there something that is like a baby ensure? My girlfriends son was 8 weeks early and she had to mix something in with his formula that was like an extra calorie boost until he was 15 months old.

Dawn

Thanks for the input... I tried the feeding bottle idea again tonight and he ate what I gave him, no problems... Mom had fed him mashed potatoes & gravy at lunch today and he ate those w/o much problem... Perhaps its just a phase... I am going to stick w/ the bottle from now on if he won't eat off the spoon on the first try...

I think there is an ensure type of product for babies... I'll have to check into it...

First of all ((HUGS)) You are not doing anything wrong.  My oldest daughter was 16lbs 11 oz at a year! She is 7 and is 39.4 pounds  with shoes and jeans on.  My son was 21 at a year and is now 9 and is 54pounds.  By contrast my 5 year old daughter was 28 pounds at a year and is 56 pounds now.  ALL KIDS are different.  I remember being in TEARS at meal time until my son was about 3! EVERYONE (Mother in law, Dr., co-workers, etc...) was telling me I had to feed him more.  He didnt want to eat more!! I switched pediatricians around that time and the new Dr. ran a full series of bloodwork on both the older 2 kids and they were both perfectly healthy, just small. SOME PEOPLE ARE PETITE.  They continue to gain weight as they grow...although it might not be alot, but they are growing and thriving...they are just thin and petiite.  It happens.  We joke that my 7 YO will be in a booster when she goes to get her drivers lic.  We just decided to accept it.  They love veggies and eat pretty healthy.  Take vitamins and do well in school. Take a deep breath and trust your mommy "gut" if you really feel there is something wrong, see a specialist, if he seems happy and healthy and enjoys the food he is eating...I would personally not worry. 

***I am just a mom with an opinion and would  not recommend going against a medical professional's advice, I am just basing this post on my experience with my kids.***

Best wishes and blessings to you and your family.