Daycare Woes/Vent of the Day

So, I have not shared ALL of my drama with Nathan's daycare...as some of it I chaulk it up to just daycares in general....some are paticular to me but have decided not to share publicly....

BUT what happened today, I will...............some of it just to get my anger out :)

I showed up to daycare about 10 minutes before it closed (not uncommon as I have loads of work often).....the gal mentioned he was starting to cough a lot more within the last 15 min and was a little whiny. She also mentioned that he looked tired as he had only one nap that day (which ****** me off but I can get over that...he usually catches up BIG time on sleep on the weekends)....so I get him out of the swing and I am getting his jacket on and I noticed a little red knot bump on his head...above his forehead. I ask her if she noticed this and what happened. She mentioned she had been in the room only for about 45 min and another gal was in the room before her and another one before her...again, not uncommon especially when I get there late. Well, then I look closer and there is a scratch (not deep) over his eye and his eyebrow even looks a little swollen. I ask and at this point she mentions she is going to go and see if there was an accident report. The other gal who had been in the room comes in and mentions she noticed the scratch but figured someone had it addressed...HELLO>>>>>did you ask anyone if they had reported it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So, the Assistant of the center comes in and looks at it and mentions possibly a mosquito bite as he had been outside yesterday. I said it was not there last night or today when I dropped him off. She leaves briefly and comes back with an accident report to fill out. She tried to call the other worker who was in the classroom the first part of the day. She could not reach her. I told her all I wanted to know is WHAT happened...I understand Nathan is very active, gets little bruises, etc. but NO ONE could tell me what the bump was from. I would be fine with someone just telling me he fell, etc. AND the worst part is no one noticed it until I pointed it out within 2 minutes of being there. They all agreed it was there, but I had to point it out to them.

I was LIVID...and I usually do not get that way...but I almost started crying yelling (well, raising my voice). I told them I was VERY disappointed and that I trust them with my son and they let me down. They kept apologizing and I said I just wanted the Director to call me back. She did pretty quickly and I told her likely everything is fine and prayerfully he will be fine. That was not the principal complaint I had. I told her that I was mostly disappointed that the girls were not perceptive enough and likely Nathan was there by himself with them for at least 30 minutes....HELLO! She agreed and said she will definitely conduct an investigation on Monday.

I called the pediatrician's office. The nurse called me back and did a majorily thorough questioning of how he was doing. Bottom line is he is acting himself and not psychotic (like me). So, she said wake him up 2 hours after he goes asleep and keep him awake for about 20 min making sure he is okay and no fever, reactions to me are good, etc. Then continue to watch him the next 48 hours. She was so good.

So, if you made it this far...thanks! :)

I am still a little PISSED....mainly because......they...

1) Did not notice it at daycare
2) Did not file an accident report
3) Did not even know the bump and marks were there

and probably many more reasons....and yes, I am probably a little hormonal.....and yes, I have had a majorily long week.....but I want the them to realize my true disapointment. I am a little nervous to retalation but I had to do it.....

So, this has basically become my last straw with them for now...I will be looking at other options on Monday.....am I wrong? am I overacting? I hope not but am just a protective mommy....and want to be able to trust my caretaker....I felt like I lost the trust from them today......I hope to have a better story next week....when I not only cool down,  but find other caretaking options for Nathan.....

Anyway, thanks for listening....I do feel better.....

Hugs,

Ann

EDITED: to clean up some of the post that did not make sense due to my spelling errors or grammar mistakes...I was incredibly tired and irritable. SORRY!

Ohhh...I am so sorry Nathan had such a bad day!  I don't have much advice for you...but this is exactly why I have not gone back to work yet!  I am just so afraid of something happening!  I know I won't be able to protect him forever, but until he can tell me himself if something happened...I just feel like I can't leave him!  I don't thing you are wrong or overreacting!  They should have at least been able to tell you what happened...and admit it.  Maybe they really didn't know what happened...but they should have seen it and told you right away...especially if he was they only one there the last 30 minutes!  I guess if it were me, I would want to know why someone didn't see it happen!  You pay them to watch your son, and that is what they should do!  Hope he is OK!  It's a tough job being a mommy!  LOL!! 
Wish you lived closer! 

Thank you my sweet friend.....

Yes, I agree with you.....about trying to protect them....Nate and I are both pretty protective parents but at this point we have no other choice to bring him to daycare.....but I just may not have him at the right one....ugh.....

My whole beef, is just tell me what happened and if you don't know, then say that and tell me WHY you did not even notice it until I pointed it out. I said to them wouldn't you want to know as a mother? They all agreed.....well then fricking do YOUR job and watch my son since I am paying you to do so!!!!

I got him up about 1130 (we were both soooooooooo tired) and he seemed fine...the red mark is still there, the scratch is fading but he was okay.....I just checked him out in the crib and he seemed about the same...the red mark seems to be going down too.....

Yes, I wish we lived closer...we could not only do crafts together but have the boys play together.....

Take care my friend!!!

Ann

I would be just as livid as you are. If you feel you cannot trust them, then you need to follow your gut and find another place. When I was 19, I worked in a day care center with 4 year olds. If the child came in with a mark we had to file a report and ask the parents about it.  It was mainly to cover our butts so the parents didn't say we did it. They should have notice right away.

Good Luck,
Emily

Thanks Emily....

That is my whole beef....be more perceptive and notice and ask about things. One gal said she noticed the mark but figured someone had it under control since she was in there such a short time.....

DON'T just "figure" something is wrong.....do something about it!!!! And that is what the director said she trains them to do...she was not happy....

I am a little nervous to take him back on Monday...they better not retaliate (sp)....that is one of my big worries why I have not brought up other crap!! Oh well, I am going to look at other options on Monday.....

Thanks again,

Ann

Okay...maybe I am misunderstanding here...but, it sounds like they left the baby alone in the room for 30 minutes???  If this is the case I would be freaking furious!!!!  I may have misunderstood your post, and I pray I did.

I am not a new mom...in fact...I'm a fairly (8 kids) experienced (lol) mom...and I do not think you are over reacting.  I mean, I must admit, that there were times where I would find a bump or a bruise and not know where it came from, and I never had my kids in daycare....however, if I was paying someone to care for my child, they darn well better know what is going on with him every second of the day!  

I hope that the previous worker just got busy and could not get a report done or something, but I kind of doubt that will happen.

I hope baby is okay and that you are able to calm down and find a more suiting daycare :)

Laura 

Hi Laura....

Thanks for the note and thanks for responding....you always have good advice since you are so seasoned. :)

He was in the room as the only child...the caretaker was in there with him (at least I think). So, it makes me more mad...if he was the only child there....why the hell did they not notice it????

I doubt it too that they got too busy....they have called me SEVERAL times on other things (one time about 4 months ago a little girl scratched up 3 kids all within about one hour and Nathan was one of them...they called me immediately). I think they were just being careless and not attentive and perceptive enough.....totally NOT acceptable to me!!!

He is doing better...was himelf last night and is over there sawing logs now.....but I hope I can find somewhere else next week.....

Thanks again,

Ann

I don't think you're overreacting either- I removed my daughter from two different daycares because of unexplained scratches- They all tried to tell me she scratched herself, which she never once did at home, and we kept her nails really trimmed. The one at the last place she was at actually scarred- like a tiny baby could do that! I was so mad, and so was DH. That lead to a shuffling of hours so that we didn't have to use daycare anymore. I think you are justified. Good luck on finding another placement.

Carrie

Thanks Carrie...

I am going to look at other options...it is tough because I am still here by myself until Nate gets here from MD.....and I have an incredibly demanding job (but love it). I need safety first though...so will look at other options and work around convenience and cost which were other options to me.

Thanks again for understanding and your note,

Ann

I don't think you're wrong for being upset.  It's not so much that he got a bump on the head as it is the fact they don't know HOW/WHEN he got the bump on the head.  If they'd have just said 'yeah, he was holding on to whatever, 'walking' along it and fell and banged his head,' I'm sure you'd of been OK with that and just asked them to watch more carefully...it seems the not knowing is what's the most upsetting.

Follow your own instincts about whether to find a differnt day care.  When my son was 1 1/2 years old, my husband and I put him in a day care in Brooklyn because my husband was working a night job and a day job and needed some time in between to sleep.  The day care was OK for the most part.  Once Khaled came home w/a huge black and blue bite mark, teeth marks and all, on his shoulder where a 2 1/2 year old had bit him (they told me about it when I picked him up)...they included breakfast, lunch, snacks, etc...but I didn't like the food they were feeding (breakfast and snacks was only cold cereal w/milk...no fruits or anything...mac and cheese for lunch almost every day), and I wasn't comfortable with the fact that when I took him - every day for months - he screamed the roof down and I could hear him half way up the block.  I'd expected that for the first week or so, but not for months.  We finally decided that my husband would only work nights, I'd work days, going in early and leaving early to pass him off. 

Six months after we withdrew him from that day car, a three year old who was on their bus service was 'forgotten' on the bus by the bus driver, in the summer time, and died in the van.  I still cannot phathom HOW you could 'forget' a child on a bus...especially because the 'bus' was only a VAN that held about 10 kids.  I was so thankful that I had pulled my son out of that day care.  He never used their bus system, but if they were that negligent in making sure the kids were taken out of the van...then I don't have much faith they would have been much more observant inside the day care. 

I'm glad Nathan's OK and hope you find an alternative care that you're more comfortable with and can trust.