OT: Am I being a baby?

I am extremely tired when I come home from work and I haven't even started back full time yet. I am just so exhausted I want to sleep but can't, DH is gone for another month and I have the children. I keep having thoughts of quitting, working part time, changing my hours to evening and quite frankly I am driving myself nuts over it. The BIGGEST thing with the whole ordeal is really the daycare cost - I am having a hard time forking out $300.00 a week for both kids, so half my check will go there and half to me, I am a social worker so I have a hard job anyways I don't feel like giving up half my check. My other option is I could put the kids at the NAVY daycare center for $205.00 a week and therefore I would save $400 a month. I am having anxiety about putting my newborn in a center, for Nylah I would love the center because it's really like a little classroom and I think she would thrive there. One other thing the daycare center is about 20-25 minutes from my house, then I would drive 15 minutes back towards my house to get to work and then back to the center 15 minutes after work and then 20-25 minutes home. Am I making sense here, this is mentally exhausting me!?! What's your take on daycare centers? How do you full time working moms do it?

Any advice is great! <3 Vanessa

Vanessa,

I didn't put my son in a day care but spent 40+ min extra drive without traffic to take my son to my inlaws.  What I spent in gas and time I saved in daycare cost, plus he is bonding with them and they want him.  Also, I didn't have any anxiety about who was watching him.   I did eventually start staying down with my parents the two nights I was in the area of my work, because all of the extra driving was hard.

That being said, where are your children now?  If they are in a setting that you are really comfortable with it is probably worth the extra money for your peace of mind.  But,  some centers have online access so you can log on and see them at anytime in the day.  I can't tell by your post if where they are now is further or the Navy center is further.  But I can say if you are already tired the extra drive does get hard.

I don't know if any of this makes sense either, but I that is what went on with me.

Jackie
mom to Jackson 1/13/07

Thank you for your response. I am really pleased with were they are now, it is a home daycare and it is actually on my way to work so no extra time there. I was thinking about moving them to the center next August or Sept when the baby is 1 so that she doesn't have to be in what they call the infant classroom (I didn't like it when I toured the school). And my mind is at ease with them there, so I guess thats what it will be for now. Thanks again!

I can imagine that it is a tough call. I am very fortunate that my Grandmother and MOm have offered to watch the baby for a while for me. I was dreading the day I had to take a 6 week old newborn to daycare. I am the one that carries our insurance and make a bit more. At this time it isn't feasible for me to be a SAHM although I would love to.

Hope that you can work something out that works for all of you!

Liz

Vanessa....

First of all, I did not know you were a Navy wife as well...guess I missed that somewhere....so I definitely UNDERSTAND....and if you think you are a baby, then I am too :) I only have one little one though...you have two and one is a newborn....

I am a single working mother for a little bit longer (awaiting his discharge date) while my husband is in MD and we are in GA.  My job is very demanding and I am hooked to a blackberry and laptop. I actually love my job very much but it has been hard....especially when Nathan has been off and on sick this year....I am very blessed to have a very happy demeanored baby....but I will admit the house is a mess....which I hate but I am EXHAUSTED when I come home from work and try to catch up on the basics on the weekends. Also, my eating habits and exercise have been poor....which frustrates me too.....but I do what I have to for now...knowing that there is an end in sight motivates me most days.....besides loving my job I am the bread winner especially after Nate's discharge impending. So I cannot be a SAHM like I would love to be.

Therefore, I have had to put Nathan in daycare. The daycare I take him to is perfect FOR NOW. I have had a few bouts of drama there and I know Nathan has definitely gotten sick being there I have no other choice right now. I did get some comfort from some gf's that have kids Nathan's age that their kids have been sick too.....so when I picked this daycare I did safety first (including knowing that they would love Nathan), convenience and cost. The place is on my way to work (5 min away from work. Which has been great as I have gone over there a handful of times to check in). It also is convenient for me as often I am at wor****il 6 pm. I go pick him up and head home which is another 10 min. So, FOR NOW it is fine....we may change as I am not sure I like the 1 year old classroom teacher. We will see.

Anyway, NO you are not a baby...you have to do what is right.....and feel comfortable with....if you ever need to chat, PM me...I know we can commiserate together......

Take care and hang in there!

Ann

Thank you so much Ann!! DH actually just re-enlisted for another 5 years with a 14 month extension so pretty much 6 years. In this time we will go to shore duty but that isn't until March 2011. Even after the shore duty (3 years) it will be back to another boat with no doubt more deployments. We figured the girls would be a bit older then and it may be a little bit easier for me. But yes I can sympathize with you, DH will be heading to New Hampshire to the shipyard next year for his sub decommission which should be 9-12 months. Although NH is only 3 hours drive I will be staying in CT so we will only see him on the weekends - and only the duty free ones at that. What us NAVY wives go through - at least yours is getting discharged (was he in 20?)

Your daily drive would be about 40 minutes.... mine is about 60 and has been longer. It's not bad. I love listening to morning radio shows. I'm one of those people everyone hates. I put my makeup on at red lights, read when traffic is terrible (been doing it for years and never even came close to an accident so don't fuss at me lol), listen to audiobooks, and enjoy the only alone quiet time I'll likely get all day.

I don't like the idea of putting little babies in centers. We moved DD to a center when she was about 18 months old. We've had DD in several childcare situations and out of probably 7 we've only really loved 3 of them. The rest, we tried for a few weeks and ended up moving her. It takes more than just a tour and a handshake to see what it's really like. Sometimes it's a handful of super bratty kids that can't be controlled that make us move centers, others because the teacher didn't seem very attentive.

It's a tough decision to make, but it could go well. If it saves you a bundle, it'd be worth trying.

I know how you feel about centers. I did home daycare for the navy. Do you have home centers? Do you guys qualify for some kind of subsidy?? I know when i did home care I had parents one active duty and one FT working and they still mananged to get subsidy. A home center run by navy might give your kids more one on one? Just a thought. Hope you decide whats right.

And for the record. My son went to an army center. ( our navy daycare was packed) They were awesome. I would recommend them. Good luck!!

Wow, so I am not the only one scared!  Your being by yourself is my very fear that goes through my head everytime we discuss my hubby's deployment.  My baby is due and April, and the Navy has perfect timing...deploying hubby's ship mid-March.  He won't be home for the birth, nor the first 6 months of the baby's life.  I have a very good job, which I love, but is very demanding.  I am the only women in the dept. and I feel this need to keep up with the men.  I am the sr. in the group, and though I don't want to give up my great career, for those months alone, I plan on working what is needed, but not killing myself like I typically would....

Anyway, I live four hours away from any family, and have no clue what daycare we will use.  Our goal is to have that figured out by the first of the year.....

Hearing some of your post in regards to working, being a Navy wife (by yourself) give me high hopes this is something I can do...

Okay, much longer post than I thought, but thanks for sharing your stories!

Stacey

I don't know if this is even a possibility for your husband but mine went on a 6 month deployment May 1st, he got to come home at the beginning of August for the birth of our DD. It's called augmenting, maybe your husband would be eligible after 3 out of his 6 month deployment? It's worth asking especially since you don't have family around, my DH didn't want to ask and I made him and they let him come home and my mom lives on the same street. They were due back Nov 1st but got extended which is the only reason he is back out again. Honestly I would have lost my mind if he wasn't home for the first few months, because I have a toddler as well it was overwhelming. Much better now! Good luck!!