Update on Doctor's Visit

Hello,

Had my first High Risk visit yesterday. What a chore. What I thought would be a 2 hour visit ended up taking all day. I had so many tests and was poked an prodded like crazy. at 9 weeks they couldn't pick up the sound of the heartbeat and the doctor said that was okay. I was a little concerned since we saw the heart flickering all the way at 6 weeks.

Of course they are making me crazy with all the talk about down syndrome and my advanced maternal age. I feel like I did something wrong by getting pregnant if you ask them. (they weren't mean, just "are you sure you don't want the amnio and other screenings, there is a high probability etc." Hubby and I have already decided that even if the child were to have special needs we would deal with that when the time came. I would not want to be tortured worrying the whole rest of this pregnancy about what the baby might have. They told my sister my nephew would almost definitely have down syndrome, he is now 20 he acts a little off but totally among the normal realm of a thinking he's grown male child.

Anyway, there are a zillion new appts. they have scheduled but I feel a little more comfortable with the high risk clinic than I expected to feel. Thanks guys for helping me to relax about it.

What  a day for you!  I don't think they even tried to hear the heartbeat at 9 weeks; I think we just  saw it on the US again.

I had my son when I was 45 and he was perfect.  We also decided not to do any additional testing such as the quad test because we knew it was a screening not a diagnosis and the only way for a diagnosis was an amnio.  We wouldn't do an amnio because my risk for miscarriage from the amnio was about the same as the risk for a Down's Syndrome baby plus we knew we would carry the baby to term anyway.  We did have the neural tube screening at 11 or 13 weeks because of family history. 

Keep taking deep breaths and relaxing.  You're doing great! 

Thanks Jennifer. I think you're right. Just trying to relax is enough work for me right now. As tired as I am you think it would be easier!

You know Chavon I feel for you...I had my last child at the age of 32, and you would have thought I was pushing 50 the way they talked about my "advanced maternal age"...it's almost like they are pressuring teenagers to get pregnant to take away the risk of advanced maternal age complications...I think they make WAY too big of a deal of it.  I had ZERO of the testing because I knew whatever the results were would not change my mind to carry the baby to term and to love him/her unconditionally...I mean that is what being a parent is all about....it's not we love our kids if they are perfect and if they are not we throw them to the wolves.  Well...regardless of genetic defects or any other defects our children may have...NONE of them are perfect...LOL  I have enough teenagers now to realize that...you must realize this is coming from a mom of 8 kids and 11 pregnancies....it's funny or wierd, as the only miscarriage I still REALLY mourn is my twin pregnancy that I lost between 14 to 16 weeks...My other two miscarriages were so early on...that it was like I found out I was pregnant one day and was miscarrying a couple of days later, so I didn't really have the time to get attacheed to them...but I do mis the "what ifs" of my twin pregnancy, which is what ALMOST made me consider trying one more time for a pregnancy and pray for twins, but when I had been able to get pregnant soooooooooooo easy all of my life, and then all of a sudden I was having issues...taking clomid, etc....I just decided it was God's way of saying "girl...you have done what you were intended to do as  mommy, and move on"....So, that is what I have done.

Good luck...and trust me...you will not need a walker or someone feeding you your meals before you deliver this munchkin :)  You are going to be the most awesome...and heck...you might even squeeze one more pregnancy in before your body decides you are done!

Take Care and Hugs to you!  PM me any time...you have kind of a a special place  in my heart for whatever reason I do not know...but you do!  Keep me posted and I will walk you through ths step by step!

Keep in miind I am so with you all the way and the docs can go screw themselves...they go by statistics and science not what is happening with a particular patient.

Hugs and good luck!

Laura

That was an awesome post! Thank you so much. I do know that I have quite a support system here on OH. You guys are the best. It does make me feel like I'm not going through this alone, and that my experience isn't the first or last woman to go through it. I thought that having surgery and losing 138 lbs was the best thing I could do for my future child. If you listen to the docs, I should have pressed for IVF back when I was over 300 lbs just because I was younger. 39 is old, but not that old. I think you're right about them making too big a deal of it. I understand knowledge is power, except when it cripples.

Don't let them bully you into a test you don't want.   We felt the same way.   If either of the twins or this baby I am carrying were to have something wrong, we would have dealt with it after the births.  No sense in having that extra added stress during the pregnancy.  


Good luck with the rest of the appointments. 

Thanks! We have to be tough with the doctors and sometimes that's hard to do. They seem to know so much medically, but they know squat about emotionality. I've waited 11 years for a child, would I really terminate it because someone thought it might have genetic imperfections, don't we all???

The only test I allowed was the blood test and thats just cause I was already doing a ton o others. I will be 35 next month also. I would not do anything different if something happens to come up with this baby. I love her no matter what. I too am in the high risk but for other reasons. I am already at weekly apts. I am now supposed to schedule the nst's twice a week now. They want to induce by 38 weeks. I say relax and enjoy having this baby growing inside ya. They did not try and listen for our heartbeat either till 11 weeks and even at that time they said beforehand dont be suprised if we dont hear it. I can only imagine if the baby is the size of biscuit that the heart is awful tiny too. I only use biscuit cause I am hungry. How funny. Never even thought of size of a biscuit. HEEHEE!!!

A buiscuit??? That's funny. Get your mind out the butter!!!

Awww...doctors can be so insensitive sometimes. 

I'm going for my first trimester screening tomorrow.  I just want to be prepared.

Don't worry about not hearing the heartbeat at 9 weeks.  I've only seen the heartbeat on sonograms so far.  I had my 11 week appointment on Monday and she couldn't get a good read on the heartbeat.  I have this lovely mixture of skin and flab that makes it more difficult in addition to it being early.  She heard it a couple of times and then it went away.  That was enough for me, even though I couldn't hear a thing!