Ugh...

So I'm bit perplexed...I interviewed with a family they have a 20 month old boy. The mother says he is a handful. She basically admitted that she lets him do anything he wants. He throws a lot of tantrums and he isn't talking yet. She said he is not a touchy feely baby.
Well I watched him at my home during our interview. He got into everything(normal of course) But when you redirected him or removed him from the situation he freaked. In fact he kicked me. He was very loud and screamed all the time. I know that doing daycare I will have kids that won't listen at all times. And I will be constantly redirecting. But I do feel this child has some issues. I feel like he could also hurt other kids. My first thought is Autism.  Is it wrong to want to meet some more families before agreeing to take this child on. I know in my heart that he will cause a lot of issues. I have a family I'm meeting with Sunday who have 3 kids, 3 year old girl and twin 11 month old boys. So I was up front and told them that I have a few families I'm meeting with and will let them know! Am I wrong for thinking that this little guy might not be a good fit for my daycare?

Jackie

Its not wrong if you think hes not a good fit for your daycare, its your daycare and you know what you can handle...but it is unfair for the little boy ( if he does have autism there are special day programs for preschoolers with autism or other developmental delays to help get them prepared for school) to not be given a chance if they way he acts is due to his parents, one day with you might just change him....Just a thought!

You are absolutely within your rights to not take a child you don't feel like you want to handle. In interviwing day care providers for my daughter, we were selective. You should be able to be the same way. Just because he is a young toddler, and the parents may be at fault doesn't mean you have to take him on and fix the family problems. It's a fact of life that we get along better with some people (Babies/toddlers/kids) than we do with others. You also need to feel comfortable having him in your home, especially considering your health and that of your other kids. Frankly, I would wonder if the parents aren't looking for someone else to set the limits and handle his behavior problems because of their own problems in doing so. You aren't paid to be a therapist, but to be a loving day care provider. You can't be loving if you feel like this kid is beyond control (The fact that he kicked an adult with his parents in the room says something about that). Just a few thoughts. sorry I seem a little impassioned about it, but I hate when parents can't be parents to their kids and expect someone else to do it. I do feel sorry for the kid, but again, it's not my job to fix what is broken in his family. Good luck!

Carrie

Go with your gut instinct. You are right - he could hurt other children and that isn't fun for anyone. Is he communicating at all??? Is he an only child? I would be mortified if Bailey behaved like that - kicking, biting, banchee screaming are a big no no! She is 2, but man - there is a limit!? Was the mom ok that he was acting like that???

She was just kinda laughing it off. Like see he is naughty. I thinks he knows there is something wrong. But who knows. I just don't think I could enjoy running my daycare with a child like that. He is not an only child she has some teenagers. I think I've made my choice.

Jackie

You are totally within your rights!  You may want to refer  them to your local Early Childhood special education program.  You can just call your school district and ask how to provide infomration to a family.  Early Childhood special education is federally funded and free to families which live in the district becuase it is covered by taxes.  If this little man is as big of a hand full as you say I would encourage the family to follow-up on this.  He sounds like he has something going on.  By the way I am a special ed teacher and I specialize in behavior disorders including a ASD specialist.  Just a thought.

I say don't do it.  If you remember when I first started watching kids I started with a little boy named Zayne.  He was more than a handful... he was developmentally delayed in speaking and behavior and motor skills.  He got into EVERYTHING.  I couldn't go from my office or playroom into the kitchen without him getting into something.  He tried to put his finger in the electric pencil sharpener on my desk (far from his reach, I thought)  he tore apart the pack in play at naptime.  Somehow got a hold of my earrings off a dresser in my room (while still in the pack n play) and pulled them apart.  It was very frustrating to deal with him because of his lack of communication skills.  Not to mention when you get NO cooperation from the parents because they have their heads up their a$$. 

I finally told them I was done.  I couldn't take it anymore.  The first day I had him, he found a dead fly in a toy that used to be outside (it was in a corner of the little mailbox, guess I missed it when I cleaned it) and tried to feed it to Sydnee.  YUCK!

Anyway.. choose them wisely, make sure you allow yourself a 2 week trial period so you can evaluate if they are going to fit in to your facility.

Hugs
B