I'm not prepared for this...

Hugs to you Bridget! And congratulations!  It always seems when life is either going right - or what we think is right and/or crazy is when God seems to throw a little bump in the road! I think your feelings are totally validated and coming here to vent is just what you needed to do!! I am sure your uneasy feelings will be just a memory sooner than later!!

Big Hugs

Beth

Bridget,

I don't even know if you remember me. I used to post, but have only been lurking since my youngest was born last Oct.

I also just found out I'm pregnant again, was due for AF last Tuesday. After 8 tests, I accept that it's true. We weren't "trying" to get pregnant, but weren't preventing due to birth control issues. We were going to try next year for our last baby, #7.

Now here we are expecting earlier than expected. We will welcome this child with open arms and open hearts, but I too wanted some time off, a little bit of freedom. The youngest, Benjamen, just started walking this week, and will be one next month.

I guess I will eventually get some "me time" after they are in school, but some days, it's hard to not own a thought, if you know what I mean.

Good luck to you, may you have a blessed pregnancy and a wonderful baby. I think we'll be due around the same time, June 2010. Take care of yourself. Enjoy your vacation, at least you don't have to pack a diaper bag, lol. Think of it as alone time with hubby and make the best of it.

I am here, lurking, but here.

Suri

Congrats and *hugs*

Man plans...and God plans...and God is the better planner.

First off...Congratulations! 

You're not selfish for wanting your 'me' time.  You can still go out Friday nights w/your friends until this little one gets here...and after he/she is here, you can still work out time to see your friends.  Hopefully things will work out so you don't have to work so many hours though...you're going to be exhausted being pregnant in and of itself w/o the added extra hours...but like most of us...you do what you gotta do.

I'd say go on w/your trip to Vegas - you can have fun there alcohol free, just enjoying your time w/Jer.  You both need the time away together.

I hope your pregnancy continues healthy - and that as you get your mind wrapped around this unexpected blessing, you are happy(ier) about it.

I know it doesn't feel celebratory.  I came to this forum over a year ago with shock (and fear) because I was PG just 1 month post op despite using BC.  Totally NOT the plan and at the very worst time in our lives (chaos, financial issues, extended family feuding, etc).  I had resigned myself to having 2 children.  Life was good.  Things were routine.  I was happy.  I was newly post-op and starting to lose weight and feel like I was alive again for the first time in many, many years.  In the blink of an eye, that +HPT turned my world upside down.  I grieved the life I was going to be giving up.  Everyone seemed happy, but me.  I thought something was wrong with me for not feeling connected to the baby.  I was so darn sick and hospitalized so often that I started to feel resentful as well.  And then I kept worrying that I had undone the very-new WLS and I would forever be fat.

Fast forward to today and I can't imagine my life any other way.  Yes, admittedly there have been some sacrifices in having a newborn again (i.e. financial stress, less attention to the other kids & my hubbie), but the love I feel for Everett is like nothing I can explain.  All those months of worrying that I wouldn't bond with him or that he would somehow know that he wasn't 'planned' were totally unnecessary.  I can actually laugh about the way DH found out I was PG, about how horrible our lives were at that time and how unexpected this was.  I can share with the kids about how all those months of bedrest and those times in the hospital were worth it when we look at their baby brother.  I can say, without a doubt, that I AM HAPPY!

I can't tell you how to feel.  There is no wrong or right.  I can't make time fast forward to where you and Jer have your somewhat carefree adult lives back (I'm still waiting for that time with MY DH).  But I can tell you that I understand and there is nothing wrong with you feeling as you do.  I can also tell you that you will get through this and the positive impact of a new addition to your lives will outweigh all that you are feeling right now.  It's not selfi****'s normal.  Once I worked through the feelings that this wasn't as I planned, I moved on to find acceptance that my efforts in fighting were actually deterring from a bigger plan.  I found that this new plan was actually better than anything I would have thought and that this surprise pregnancy turned out to be one of the best blessings in my life.  Try to take it one single day at a time and don't let your mind get too far ahead.  It will work out as it is supposed to.

I'm here if you need anything, sweetie!

Hugs,