OT PAIN KILLERS (very long)
I cant imagine how hard this is for you!! I know its hard to see him go through all of this too. I dont have so much as advise to give but I can just offer support. Everyone has such good advise here. He does need help and medical help not just going cold turkey per say but help with all of it. He cant do it alone and I dont think his intention was for it to ever get that bad. Noone wants to feel that way I am sure. I know this is an awful time for you and I just wanted to say good luck and please PLEASE vent and talk to us as much as possible. We are all here for you!!
Damayin 12-3-93
Jarrid 10-12-98
Hayvann 11-22-09
Kerstyn 4-2-11
Kinzy 4-2-11
Jarrid 10-12-98
Hayvann 11-22-09
Kerstyn 4-2-11
Kinzy 4-2-11
Hi,
Very sorry to hear about your trials. I want you to know that your husband needs to treat his addiction first before he can fix your marriage. It is hard when you watch someone you love struggle with addiction. You can't blame yourself, but believe that you can do much to start him on the right path, the real struggle will be all him. He will have to fight this fight even with you as cheerleader. Don't give up on him before he's had some time in therapy. As others have said, detox and rehab and then counseling sounds like a winning combination. I don't want to sound cliche' but you need to let yourself off the hook for being angry (that's a normal emotion but don't let it override your love and compassion which will foster forgiveness)
I hope you find the answers and the strength to keep fighting through this very rough spot.
Very sorry to hear about your trials. I want you to know that your husband needs to treat his addiction first before he can fix your marriage. It is hard when you watch someone you love struggle with addiction. You can't blame yourself, but believe that you can do much to start him on the right path, the real struggle will be all him. He will have to fight this fight even with you as cheerleader. Don't give up on him before he's had some time in therapy. As others have said, detox and rehab and then counseling sounds like a winning combination. I don't want to sound cliche' but you need to let yourself off the hook for being angry (that's a normal emotion but don't let it override your love and compassion which will foster forgiveness)
I hope you find the answers and the strength to keep fighting through this very rough spot.
336lbs 6/19/06 - 198 lbs - 6/19/10 138 lbs gone forever!!!
We have our miracle: Jakob Makhi born 4-15-10; 4 lbs. 10 oz. 22" long.
I agree with the other posters about rehab. I know the salvation army has one that is either free or low cost. Maybe you could look into that. Or maybe a rehab center that also focuses on pain control. I would look on-line. I know A&E has a show called Intervention. Maybe there website would have information on rehab centers. Good Luck!
There's a lot of good advice here, and I hope you're able to find something in there to give you strength and to help you know what to do. I agree that he needs medical intervention to truly get off the drugs...because no matter how badly he wants to do it...he can't do it alone. I'm sorry the timing is so bad for you - not that there ever is a GOOD time to find out your DH is addicted to drugs - and it has to be indescribably stressful knowing you're about to have another baby and have to deal with this. I don' t have any advice on how to work through that other than to talk about it while he gets help. Talk us...talk to a counselor...talk to a friend...but don't bottle it up inside. I would also stick to your guns in insisting he does get help...immediately.
There are other pain specialists out there who help people learn to deal with pain w/o the drugs, and he needs to find one. In my opinion...a dr who freely hands out drugs like his dr is is nothing better than a drug pusher himself. He is smart enough to know your husband's addicted...and doing nothing but enabling that addiction...and being the ***** that I am...I'd report him to the medical boards or DEA. If it's illegal for someone to sell it to an addict on the street corner, it ought to be illegal for a dr to give prescriptions to a known addict.
[[HUGS]]
There are other pain specialists out there who help people learn to deal with pain w/o the drugs, and he needs to find one. In my opinion...a dr who freely hands out drugs like his dr is is nothing better than a drug pusher himself. He is smart enough to know your husband's addicted...and doing nothing but enabling that addiction...and being the ***** that I am...I'd report him to the medical boards or DEA. If it's illegal for someone to sell it to an addict on the street corner, it ought to be illegal for a dr to give prescriptions to a known addict.
[[HUGS]]
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
Jen,
I went through many of the same things with my 2nd husband. I posted a huge long story about it to someone else on here about 2 yrs ago. I am going to look for it. I am too exhausted tonight to retype it all.. .plus, just thinking about it irritates the hell out of me and I would really like to sleep tonight. If I find it, I will post the link. If not, I will respond tomorrow at some point in the day.
Hugs
B
I went through many of the same things with my 2nd husband. I posted a huge long story about it to someone else on here about 2 yrs ago. I am going to look for it. I am too exhausted tonight to retype it all.. .plus, just thinking about it irritates the hell out of me and I would really like to sleep tonight. If I find it, I will post the link. If not, I will respond tomorrow at some point in the day.
Hugs
B
I deal with 24/7 Chronic pain and have had issues getting proper treatment because of the addiction stigma. There are medications that treat pain that aren't highly addictive. Other forms of pain control besides narcotics and pills. A pain specialist is able to explain different types of therapies and treatments that don't have to involve massive amounts of pills. Most pain management Drs keep their patients in check. I take a medication that is Extended release, only taken twice a day so that I'm not taking pills all day every day. There's also injections which can be very helpful without having to take the pills. I would talk to his pain management Dr and explain that he's addicted and an alternative treatment plan is needed. If the Dr. knows this about his problem and is still giving him the pills, you may want to find a different pain specialist. Chronic pain is not easy to deal with but at the same time he needs to be accountable and responsible for his treatment and he needs to be aware of the damage he's allowing to happen. Counseling for yourself and the both of you might help. It's not good to be under this much stress this close to giving birth. Not to mention the other children and how it's affecting them. I hope and pray that this can be resolved and your life can find some calm.
"Be present for your journey, get to know who you really are and then be your authentic self with NO apologies"
You can follow my journey at mandaschange.blogspot.com
You can follow my journey at mandaschange.blogspot.com