Almost 41 years old "Get the WLS now or try to get pregnant first and then the surgery?
Hi everybody. I am in the dilemma if get my WLS now or wait to see if I can get pregnant again and then do the surgery. The problem is I am almost 41 years old and I was planning to gey pregnant since 2 years ago but Ive been postponing it waiting to loose weigth but I am doing all the opposite. I gain 65 lbs since then. I am almost as big as I was when I delivery my first child 4 years ago. I gain 70 lbs with him and I lost it and I regain again. I dont know what to do. Everubody tells me that I can not get pregnant as I am now because is risky for teh baby and me. I am 322 and feel awful, with a lot of pain (back, knees, foot, etc) I cannot move well and I can not continue like this. I didnt have problem getting pregnant of my first child but I been trying for about 9/10 months and I dont get pregnant. If I have a surgery now , I have to wait until I have at least 42 to get pregnant and will be more risky and I guess dificult. Rigth now I dont have a good life because my obesity ( I mean movility, because ither than body pain, I dont have other healths problems) and I dont know if YI can handle a pregnancy like this but I want another baby. Is someone who can give me an advice or who has been in a similar situation. I will really appreciate a lot. Thanksssssss
That's definitely a tricky one and I can see how you would be at a crossroads!!! I would talk to your OB/GYN and see what their thoughts are. Keep in mind that most bariatric surgeons want you to wait a minimum of 18 months to 2 years post op to get pregnant so that would be what you want to ask the OB - which would be riskier. Sorry I don' t have any more specific imput. Congratulations on both big life choices! I am hopeful that it all turns out wonderful!
Love, Riah
Thanks for your answer. My OB/GYN suggested to loose some weigth (40 pounds back in december when I saw him, now will be 60 since I gain 20 more) before I get pregnant, just to be like I was before a I get pregnant with my 4 years old son. I was reading that will be healthier if I loose some weigth and get pregnant than to get pregnant how I am rigth now (322 lbs). The problem is I wouldn't like to wait 12 months, maybe 6 months if I loose the 60 lbs because of my age, but I guess will depend on what doctor say and how I will doing in the process. I will keep you inform on what is going on. Thank for the support and Good luck in your pregnancy and labor.
I was in your exact situation and I want to be supportive here but also honest. I'm not convinced in retrospect that the problem is all weight, it's also age. I've seen plenty of women here having babies in the high 200's and some even at 300+. Granted, they were down 100lbs from 400. That being said, I got the advice from my OB/GYN that I'd "stroke out" upon delivery if I even got that far without miscarrying because I was 290 w/HBP and Type 2 Diabetes. I was 40.5 yo. I was being told at that point I had "diminished reserve" already. It's really a crap shoot. Yes, I waited and had the RNY. (Took 6 mos. to jump through ins. hoops.) Figured I wanted to be a healthy Mom if I was able to be a Mom. Lost 105lbs in 6 mos. following the RNY and the doc released me to try w/my RE. Tried and found out the hubby had developed his own issues in the meantime. After getting him regulated we went straight to IUI and did that off and on with the various drugs for 1.5 yrs and 8 IUIs. Gave it up at 44.5. We didn't have the $$ for IVF. Our chance of conception is less than 1% per cycle at this point. I don't discount miracles happen. My only regret is I didn't freeze some eggs before RNY. Maybe if they were younger they would have been better. I don't know, won't know. This is something you really have to think on and discuss with your Reproductive Endocrinologist; you are beyond an OB/GYN at your Advanced Maternal Age and weight issues. Good Luck and lots of baby dust to you!!!
Jackie J. 
1 choice @ a time > 1 day @ a time. Slow to Succeed is still Success ;-)
Grrr....this is the fourth time I've tried responding to your post...and my damn computer keeps eating it up....Here it goes again.
I am 41 years old and TTC #2 also. My 'opinion' on what you should do would depend on a few factors.
If you decided to go for the WLS first, will your insurance pay for it w/o making you jump through a million hoops and w/o getting a note from your dead great grandmother ok'ing the surgery? ie...can you get it immediately? If so...I think that would be the route I'd take...but I also like Jackie's suggestion to freeze some eggs prior to the surgery.
If your insurance requires the hoop jumping/note and the removal of your fingernails before they'd approve the WLS...then I'd say try to see an RE and see if they can help get you pg...then have the WLS when you're ready.
I had my WLS at the age of 38 for the main purpose of TTC #2. I have a 14 1/2 yo son and my DH and I had not TTC after having him due to my weight...and at 38, I figured I wasn't going to lose it on my own..and if the weight was keeping us from TTC...then the fastest way to lose the weight would be WLS. My only regret re the WLS is that I didn't do it 20 years earlier.
Another factor on my TTC saga involved the fact that I had a large-ish uterine fibroid. The OB/GYN that I was seeing at the time had diagnosed it a year earlier and prescribed taking bc pills to shrink it and come see her in a year...which I did. A year later, the fibroid had not shrunk, it had doubled in size. I was later told by another dr that bc pills to 'shrink' a fibroid is impossible, because fibroids are hormone driven...and that's all bc pills are. After finding out the fibroid had doubled...the wench dr told me that I would never get pg again...and that if in a fluke, if I did, I'd never carry to term. Her recommendations were 1) continue w/the bc pills to control the bleeding I was having (and thus continue feeding the fibroid); 2) suck it up and live with it; or 3) have a hysterectomy and call it a day. I chose option 4) find a new dr who knew his head from his ass. I had the fibroid removed a month and a half after WLS.
My WLS surgeon recommended waiting 18-24 months to TTC. With the approval of my PCP - who also would have provided OB/GYN care due to where I live - my DH and I decided to start TTC at 12 months out...but literally the week before we were going to start TTC...I ended up in the hospital w/a severe kidney infection that resulted in the removal of my kidney. The infection was due to a previously undiscovered/diagnosed birth defect. After taking the time to recover from that, we started TTC at 15 months out and I got pg the first month TTC - three months before my 40th birthday. Unfortunately, I mc'd...and have had three add'l mc's since then, none of which are related to WLS. The drs believe at this point that my hormones are out of wack and it's a matter of getting me on the right combo of drugs to keep me pg.
'Statistics' will tell you that at my age, my chances of getting pg on my own is almost nil. I don't believe it. I'm now 41 years old and have had four pgs in 18 months, 3x on my own, 1x w/IUI (one try). 'Statistics' will also tell you that having 3 consecutive mc is less than 1% chance, and even lower for 4 mc's...but it sucks that I don't beat that statistic, either.
Basically...I'd say if at all possible...have the surgery (even if it means freezing eggs in case you need IVF later) if your insurance will approve it immediately...but don't stop at 60 pounds/6 months. Give yourself 12 months - which puts you at a much healthier weight and nutritional level to have a healthy baby. I know I may get lambasted for saying not to wait the 18-24 months...but I know for myself that because of my age, I didn't wait that time and I'd be phoney telling you to do what I didn't do myself. Obviously this has the caveat of talking to your OB/GYN and WLS drs to get them on board with that plan, though.
As a bit of encouragement in waiting that year...one of my best friends, whom I've known for 21+ years, turned 42 in mid-August...and is to be induced this week to give birth to her #2. She and I both have sons one month apart...and if I hadn't mc'd #3, I was one week ahead of her in my pregnancy.
Good luck in whatever you decide...and welcome to the AMA Club (Advanced Maternal Age).
I am 41 years old and TTC #2 also. My 'opinion' on what you should do would depend on a few factors.
If you decided to go for the WLS first, will your insurance pay for it w/o making you jump through a million hoops and w/o getting a note from your dead great grandmother ok'ing the surgery? ie...can you get it immediately? If so...I think that would be the route I'd take...but I also like Jackie's suggestion to freeze some eggs prior to the surgery.
If your insurance requires the hoop jumping/note and the removal of your fingernails before they'd approve the WLS...then I'd say try to see an RE and see if they can help get you pg...then have the WLS when you're ready.
I had my WLS at the age of 38 for the main purpose of TTC #2. I have a 14 1/2 yo son and my DH and I had not TTC after having him due to my weight...and at 38, I figured I wasn't going to lose it on my own..and if the weight was keeping us from TTC...then the fastest way to lose the weight would be WLS. My only regret re the WLS is that I didn't do it 20 years earlier.
Another factor on my TTC saga involved the fact that I had a large-ish uterine fibroid. The OB/GYN that I was seeing at the time had diagnosed it a year earlier and prescribed taking bc pills to shrink it and come see her in a year...which I did. A year later, the fibroid had not shrunk, it had doubled in size. I was later told by another dr that bc pills to 'shrink' a fibroid is impossible, because fibroids are hormone driven...and that's all bc pills are. After finding out the fibroid had doubled...the wench dr told me that I would never get pg again...and that if in a fluke, if I did, I'd never carry to term. Her recommendations were 1) continue w/the bc pills to control the bleeding I was having (and thus continue feeding the fibroid); 2) suck it up and live with it; or 3) have a hysterectomy and call it a day. I chose option 4) find a new dr who knew his head from his ass. I had the fibroid removed a month and a half after WLS.
My WLS surgeon recommended waiting 18-24 months to TTC. With the approval of my PCP - who also would have provided OB/GYN care due to where I live - my DH and I decided to start TTC at 12 months out...but literally the week before we were going to start TTC...I ended up in the hospital w/a severe kidney infection that resulted in the removal of my kidney. The infection was due to a previously undiscovered/diagnosed birth defect. After taking the time to recover from that, we started TTC at 15 months out and I got pg the first month TTC - three months before my 40th birthday. Unfortunately, I mc'd...and have had three add'l mc's since then, none of which are related to WLS. The drs believe at this point that my hormones are out of wack and it's a matter of getting me on the right combo of drugs to keep me pg.
'Statistics' will tell you that at my age, my chances of getting pg on my own is almost nil. I don't believe it. I'm now 41 years old and have had four pgs in 18 months, 3x on my own, 1x w/IUI (one try). 'Statistics' will also tell you that having 3 consecutive mc is less than 1% chance, and even lower for 4 mc's...but it sucks that I don't beat that statistic, either.
Basically...I'd say if at all possible...have the surgery (even if it means freezing eggs in case you need IVF later) if your insurance will approve it immediately...but don't stop at 60 pounds/6 months. Give yourself 12 months - which puts you at a much healthier weight and nutritional level to have a healthy baby. I know I may get lambasted for saying not to wait the 18-24 months...but I know for myself that because of my age, I didn't wait that time and I'd be phoney telling you to do what I didn't do myself. Obviously this has the caveat of talking to your OB/GYN and WLS drs to get them on board with that plan, though.
As a bit of encouragement in waiting that year...one of my best friends, whom I've known for 21+ years, turned 42 in mid-August...and is to be induced this week to give birth to her #2. She and I both have sons one month apart...and if I hadn't mc'd #3, I was one week ahead of her in my pregnancy.
Good luck in whatever you decide...and welcome to the AMA Club (Advanced Maternal Age).
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
Thanks Jackie and Holly for your honest and encouraging testimony. I think that I going ahead and do the surgery (I dont know which one yet) I dont know which one is better for me. Dr. Peters suggested to me the RNY because I have a BMI of 52 .Like I said I am turning 41 in october and I would like to have an other baby. I got pregnant with my son 4 years ago with 260lbs, now I am 322 (almost the 326 lbs that delivery my baby of course C Section 10.5 lbs), My , OB/GYN told me in december to loose at least till the 260 that I had whenI got pregnant the firs time but I cant and I am going up even more. So I dont think that is a good idea to have a baby now because I cant walk, I have a lot of pain in my back. knees and feet. I cant imagine myself with other 25/35 lbs pregnant, is not healthy. If I can loose 40/50 lbs in the next 4 months would be great but we all know how hard it is. Som people tell me to do the surgery and loose 100 lbs and trying tioget pregnant will be easier and healthier. Other people, incluiding my brother and closer friends dont like the idea od the surgery. My husband leave it up tu me. and I continue confuse but a little more decide with th surgery. Thanks for your support and ideas and good luck in your projects and treatments. Thanks again to share with me your experiences, help me a lot.
Hi,
I very rarely post replies here but feel compelled this morning to share my story. I am 37 years old TTC 3+ years, I have 4 other children youngest is 9 weighed 270 at delivery with him. However, after getting up to 303 I was having real difficulty conceiving. I have one ovary thanks to a ruptured cyst, RE was very concerned would ever happen even suggested donor eggs. 3 years we tried IUI-x6, clomid, letrazole, gonal-f injections, you name it short of IVF we tried it. 2 miscarriages emotionally exhausted I decided to focus more on weight loss. I had RNY on 3-30-09 doctor said use condoms it is quite possible your fertility will be restored. DH and I purchased 36 pack. Honestly, I was SO skeptical because of all we'd been through we used condoms when we thought about it. Today I am 5 months post op, diet/exercise wise VERY POST OP COMPLIANT - and 5 weeks pregnant. We didn't try I didn't believe it was even a real probability. My doctors (primary care, bariatric and RE) all see me, developed a plan and we're moving forward. I'm grateful to God yet TOTALLY shocked. With an FSH of 15, 1 ovary, annovulation, possible PCOS and advanced maternal age, society said pregnancy is not possible, God said otherwise. Highest 303/pre op 295/current 226)
I very rarely post replies here but feel compelled this morning to share my story. I am 37 years old TTC 3+ years, I have 4 other children youngest is 9 weighed 270 at delivery with him. However, after getting up to 303 I was having real difficulty conceiving. I have one ovary thanks to a ruptured cyst, RE was very concerned would ever happen even suggested donor eggs. 3 years we tried IUI-x6, clomid, letrazole, gonal-f injections, you name it short of IVF we tried it. 2 miscarriages emotionally exhausted I decided to focus more on weight loss. I had RNY on 3-30-09 doctor said use condoms it is quite possible your fertility will be restored. DH and I purchased 36 pack. Honestly, I was SO skeptical because of all we'd been through we used condoms when we thought about it. Today I am 5 months post op, diet/exercise wise VERY POST OP COMPLIANT - and 5 weeks pregnant. We didn't try I didn't believe it was even a real probability. My doctors (primary care, bariatric and RE) all see me, developed a plan and we're moving forward. I'm grateful to God yet TOTALLY shocked. With an FSH of 15, 1 ovary, annovulation, possible PCOS and advanced maternal age, society said pregnancy is not possible, God said otherwise. Highest 303/pre op 295/current 226)
God Bless you with your new pregnancy!!!!! Thanks to share your history with us. I happy for you after tryin for so long and with no so many expectations. I was thinking the same lately... I goin to o ahead and do the surgery (they sad that I can probably can get done in less that 3 years. And then (like I read in differents post) probably I have more possibilties to get pregnant maybe I will be more concentrate in the weigth loss process ( thinks there is a lot to do with mental/psicology obsesion sometimes...) And if God wants it, he gonna bless us with an other baby and me healthier.
I have an other question RNY or lap band or other??? My doctor suggested me RNY because I am 52 bmi and 135 lbs to losse. But regarding the future pregnancy I am worry about that with the RNy the baby could not get enough nutritients??? Thanks
I have an other question RNY or lap band or other??? My doctor suggested me RNY because I am 52 bmi and 135 lbs to losse. But regarding the future pregnancy I am worry about that with the RNy the baby could not get enough nutritients??? Thanks
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