Back to work vent....

I am a bit frustrated with my husband today....

I am "back to work" today -- but working from home.  (I am in the office in the basement trying my hardest NOT to go upstairs and check on Cooper).

Every time I go upstairs Cooper is either laying in his crib or sitting in his swing.  I know my husband is feeding him, changing his diapers and when Cooper starts really crying he is picking him up and soothing him.  To me that is the bare minimum, ya know? 

My husband keeps telling me to "trust him" and that I am questioning his abilities..... 

But it cannot be good for Cooper to be sleeping / laying around so much all day!  I keep telling myself that if we sent Cooper to day care he'd probably be doing the same thing - laying around, right?? 

Heaven forbid should my husband vary his routine to hold the baby or spend some time "playing".

GRRRRRRRRRR..... okay, vent over. 

I just had to get this off my chest so I don't scream at him.  LOL.  Thanks for listening!

Cindy

I used to carry Cooper around in his seat if I was doing housework and "park" him near me to talk....not my husband!  He just leaves him in a swing and walks away! 

(Below is Cooper hanging out in the tub while I cleaned the bathroom.)

Since Cooper isn't really doing too much yet, it's probably hard for him (hubby)  to "just" hold him. I don't think men can sit and stare and hold a little baby the same as us mommies can.

Cooper is fine. I am sure your hubby is doing a fine job. Just remember that just because he isn't doing things the way you would, it doesn't mean he is doing them wrong.

Hang in there sweetie! It's all a big adjustment for everyone. Things will iron themselves out! I promise!

((Hugs))

Thank you!  I needed to hear that....

I know I tend to be a "control freak" and want things done my way LOL.

I know he won't let Cooper get hurt..... and I keep telling myself there are plenty of babies who don't have constant hugging/holding and talking and turn out fine. 

I appreciate the reassurance! 

Cindy

Just remember what you are feeling is natural. And it's hard your first day back. And the fact that you  "actually" know what he is up to makes it easier to "criticize".

You are only worrying because you love him. So don't feel bad. Just try to relax a little more. I can give you this advice as I have done it 4 times. So I have been there and understand! LOL

I am by far not an expert but I remember my Grandmother telling my Aunt's that it is OK for the baby to just sit sometimes, it teaches them to entertain themselves. No idea if it's true but she did raise 5 relatively normal kids! lol

He is such a cutie!

Thanks, Liz.

I know (in my mind) it's okay for Cooper to sit sometimes....and I, myself, do let him sit....  but I guess the frustration is I'm afraid he will be sitting 8+ hours a day if what I am witnessing is what is happening all day. 

Although....I just went up again and my husband had Cooper naked slung over his arm and was dabbing at his butt with a wet-wipe.  Turns out Cooper must have sat too long in his poop and wiggled it up his back (out of his diaper). 

It was a funny picture to see him cleaning Cooper up by hanging him over his arm like that.... my husband HATES poopy diapers!!  LOL   Wish I had my camera.

Cooper was very smiley and happy to be clean and dry.

Thanks again for your thoughts!   I know these worries will lessen..... 

Cindy

Knowing my husband the way I do he would and has done the same. They have a different mind set than we do with our kids and lets face it....noone does it as good as we do.  I had to learn to let go and realise that my husbands bonding with our kids was just as important as mine but his had to be different. Thats why its hard for us. We want them to do things our way and its so natural to feel like our men are not doing it the way we are so we feel a guilt inside. I know I am only speaking from my side and my experience but that how I felt both times with our boys. I know I will do it again even when Hayvann gets here but I will have to remember saying this. :) It gets better but I will not say at any stage will you feel any different. Its a mom thing from what everyone kept telling me and it was completely normal. Big hugs girl and get your work done. Cooper will be great and its a wonderful time anytime to see a daddy and his baby!!

I worked with my oldest son and my husband watched him for 5hrs, 4 days a week.  Trust me, I know the feeling.  I clung to the idea my husband wasn't doing enough...and certainly  not MY way.  But then someone pointed this out to me and it really went far in making me feel better.

Mommy and Daddy are DIFFERENT and this is ALWAYS going to be true.  (There will be plenty of times you don't want to be associated with him in the future LOL.)  This time will start a long (hopefully very positive) journey between a boy and his dad.  Knowing that there's a "mommy way" and a "daddy way" and both are okay...is a big step in establishing that relationship.  You and Cooper will both be learning to trust daddy.  It's a good thing.

Cindy

I did this with my husband as well, thought he was doing the bare minimum and every time I handed Ny over he when I came back she was in something (swing, bouncer, saucer, etc.) I got extremely infuriated and would always be mad at him. You just have to "trust him" and when its his turn let it be just that, you can hold him all the time you want when you can.

Hugs Vanessa

Okay, so I understand your dilemma completely, as I worked at home from when I had my 2nd baby until last year.  It can be very hard when you are supposed to be working and someone else is caring for your baby and you can hear everything.  

Does your basement have a door?  Ours did at the time, so I would go down there, shut the door, and turn a box fan on high so I almost could not hear it thunder..lol  But, it was still the best, as I was able to really sit down and concentrate and get my work banged out in a couple of hours!

GL!

Laura