Told In-Laws about our C-Section

Our baby boy is scheduled to arrive via c-section on 10/30. This is due to my personal surgical history, which cncludes both an ovarian cystectomy (via laparotomy) and a very painful rectal surgery. My OB will be using the same "smiley" incision used for the cystectomy. Also I'm listed as "marginal" for placenta previa (i.e., the placenta is partially covering my cervix). I'm on pelvic rest for this currently.

Today, while visiting with my in-laws my husband and I mentioned the fact that we'll be having this baby via c-section and shared the reasons behind the decision and my in-laws seemed somewhat "thrown" by it. I think perhaps they just need some time to absorb the info. (?) They do tend to be worriers, but I can't control what they choose to worry about, right?

My doctor and I have discussed my personal surgical history and risks at length and I feel good about our plan. But, I don't feel good when I share the plan and people act like I'm telling them I'm walking off a cliff or something. I feel I have done a lot of research and have accepted the position that I am currently in with this body and this pregnancy.

I'm fully aware that some people have a dislike/distain/etc. for c-sections and some have had horrible experiences. I feel I am entitled to experience my pregnancy and birth FOR MYSELF. I have a friend who is VERY OPINIONATED when it comes to birth...she's had an emergency c-section and a VBAC...and I am not looking forward to sharing the info with her. In fact, I may not bring it up at all.
 
Sorry, just needed to vent and I thought there may be others on this board who would have some insight or words of encouragement.

--Paula

I loved my c-sections. My only regret is that I had to labor for 62 unproductive torturous hours only to end up with a stressed out baby that ultimately spent 10 days in the NICU because of the ordeal. My second son was an elective c, and I would do any future children that way too. I will tell you that after both boys I had AWFUL bladder spasms, but that was from the catheter that came along with the surgery. The recovery was great, and as long as you are careful with your incision as far as keeping it dry and clean, then you shouldnt have any problems.

I hope your in-laws simmer down...they're probably just concerned.
--Leah

Hi Leah--

Thanks for replying.

The bladder spasms do sound awful...I've never had those despite several sugeries with bladder catheterizations. Since I've recovered from the laparatomy, I have *some* idea of the pain involvement and wound care that will occur after the c-section. Granted, I've never cared for a newborn while recovering though!

Thanks for your words of encouragement, I apprecaite them!

--Paula

It may not be a popular answer, but mine would be, "look, I can have this baby surgically removed, OR I can blow my ass out trying to deliver and end up with a colostomy bag, and are YOU going to help me clean THAT??" I think that would pretty much close the debate there, no?  Sorry, I'm usually blunt and direct with family and friends, and for some reason, I feel comfortable enough to be that way with you.  My gosh Paula...I can't believe the day is nearing so quickly.  I'm SO happy for you I can hardly stand it.  I can't wait to read your posts on motherhood and not respond because I'm a terrible lurker.  I hope and pray that everything goes smoothly for you!!

Wow Shawn, when you put it like that... i'm definitely going for the c-sections. =)

Sorry...maybe I should pick up some tact while I'm at the grocery store later. LOL

Hey, that way works for me.  LOL  I think you definitely got the point across.  Besides, I heard the tact that you get from the grocery store isn't the best quality.  hehe

shawn's the coolest

Thanks Shawneena!

(I've missed your postings, BTW!) I should say, my in-laws don't know about my rectal surgery. Somehow, I just can't bring myself to talk to septuagenarions about my anal fissure repair, y'know?

Anyhow, I like your thinking!

--Paula

Paula...you make me laugh.  I come from a family where my business is EVERYBODY'S business whether I like it or not.  I used to HATE it (and I'm still not thrilled) but I've taken a new approach where if I tell them first...then it can't come back around at me, and they get accurate info instead of someone else's skewed view.  But I totally get what you're saying. And besides, I don't see how it's an elective surgery when docs deem in to be in your best interest and for safety precautions.  I call that preventative medicine. :-)

And I'm glad you missed me...it's nice to be missed sometimes.