The reason why I didn't want to say anything...

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry that you feel this way.  I totally understand!  I have bipolar and I fall on the depressed side a lot.  I haven't been on my meds since 3 months before I got pregnant so I am not doing very good.  I had post partem psychosis with my first (who is 9 now).  I had to go back into the psych ward two weeks after her delivery.  With the other 2 (and with this one due aug. 20) I will go back on my meds the night of my c-section.  I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!  Also, it could take up to 2 months for meds to work.  It is hell getting through that time when you are taking meds and before they start to work.  I will totally keep you in my prayers, hang in there!!!!!  Please call your doctor if you are feeling worse and worse.  God bless you and your baby.  Penni

Dawn,

It takes guts to post something like this and I think it's awesome you did. So many woman go through exactly what you are feeling and it's good for them to know they are not alone.

Although I did not suffer PPD, I did fear it... still do with this next baby- it is nothing to be ashamed of!

I think it's good that you've been open with your doctor and that you are keeping on top of it. You are an excellent mother and your daughters are so lucky to have you- you worked so hard to have them!

As for the hubby- I think a lot of us go through that. I know I work all day and my hubby will have watched Zachary and I know he wants a break and i'm so tired. This is vice versa- I do it to him on the weekends.... it's hard.... I wish your hubby could realize that just because you stay home doesn't mean you are relaxing all day- SAHM's work so hard and I honestly can't imagine it!

We are always here for you ((((((((((Hugs!))))))))))))

I agree with Liz, jab the hubby in the eye.  Sorry to hear about the PPD, I didn't get that as much as just horrible "anger" swings the first three weeks after Caitlin was home.  Her hungry/upset cry would trigger my migraines and I'd literally see red.  It's all back to normal now, but it was a scary three weeks, and I talked to my spouse about it, and he listened.

Now, as for the helping out, he's done that since minutes after her birth.  But when he went back to work 3 days after she was born, he was being an asshat about taking her from me when he got home.  So, on his first full day off work, on the 2nd week of it, I packed myself up, walked in to him, kissed his forehead and said, "I'll be back later.  Baby is fed, sleeping, and all yours."

Then I ran away from home for the day (and purposely left the cell phone there).  He got the message when I came home 5 hours later, after dealing with her by himself with no way to reach "mommy."  He's been marvelous since.  I wish you could do the same and have your hubby see the light!

But feel free to vent, or even drop a message.  I wander around, just don't post much anymore, because.. well, that requires putting Caitlin down in her bouncer.. since I'm usually reading while I feed her.

And soooo glad the weather is cooling down, finally after two weeks of insane HOT!

I'm going to suggest different meds.  I started Zoloft about 6 months ago and had my dose increased last month and I feel worse now that I've ever felt.  I've not taken it the last 2 days (yesterday was by mistake and today on purpose) and those are the first tear free days I've had since starting the Zoloft.  My anxiety is higher than before as well.  I see my doc on the 11th, and was going to discuss going off the Zoloft and perhaps finding something else...but I've already decided that I'm no longer going to take it.  I could have written what you have, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way.  It's for sure NO FUN and that's an understatement.  If you want to talk, I'm only a few clicks away.  hugs to you.

I haven't gone thru the PPD but I have gone down the depression and anexity road.  I knew something was wrong, I was always crying and b****y, fighting with hubby over nothing.  Then one day I broke down in my boss' office and couldn't stop, so I called the doctor.  About a month or so after getting the meds right my hubby came up to me and apologized for not seeing what i was going through and told me how excited he was to have his wife back.

It maybe a slow ride but it will get better.

Missy


M/C 7/16/08  Ectopic 7/8/09

Thanks for the post! With my first daughter I think I was very depressed, and never addressed it. After having my RNY done, I lost my mother three weeks later, and that started things up- IT got so bad that the Dr finally put me on the generic for Wellbutrin SR- Buproprion. It worked within two weeks (No joke) and helps with my really bad anxiety. I still struggle with anxiety, but I have noticed a big difference. Now that we are TTC #2, I think that has added a bit of stress as well. As a psychologist, I have to say that meds can help on so many levels. If you can swing it, therapy is great too. I have seen several different therapists. I usually go to a female therapist, because I feel like they will understand me better for some reason, although that is a personal belief. Not to advertise for my profession, but a lot of the skills I have learned in dealing with not only PPD but regular depression with anxiety have been the result of therapists helping me to find out what was triggering it and think of new things to try and do to help. I know talking to your husband at this point is hard- I have struggled with this too!! Sometimes I leave him a note- He works swing shift and I work day shift so sometimes on his pillow at night I'll leave a little note about something I am glad he did for me. That usually results in a conversation the next day which starts out positively and then I can constructively bring up issues like yours- I appreciate your post and I understand 100% where you're coming from! Best of luck on the meds!

Carrie