How do you deal....

So we told the family this weekend that we are pregnant.  Everyone is excited and can't wait for the new baby.  But I am having troubles explaining that having the gastric bypass will not interfer with having a baby.  It  is almost to the point of being frustrated...I try to explain that I eat healthy and take my vitamins...and I know of wonderful women on my posting website that have had one, two or several babies after the RYN and they have wonderful healthy babies.  But it is almost like they are doubting...I know they are worried but how do you deal with it....

Then my mom who loves me to death .... just keeps telling like 3 times in the course of the weekend...  you know, you don't want to ruin your bypass ... make sure you are not gaining weight you worked to hard.  Remember, I had you and your brother and didn't gain any weight.  She says, the baby will eat whether you eat or not.  Which I am totally frustrated with and keep saying to I am eating healthy for the most part....those baby craving sometimes get the best of me...  but really in my heart I am okay with gaining a little baby weight .... I don't what to be obessed with not gaining any weight ... I just want  a healthy baby.

So how do you ladies deal with these situations?  Just keep saying I know, thank you for caring, but I will be okay....

Thanks for letting me complain :)

Gina

LOL...how people respond depends on how close they are to their family.  Obviously you're close to yours and don't want to hurt their feelings.  Me?  Different story...the vast majority of my family I'd probably not even bother to tell I was pg...my older sister and my dad are probably the only one I'd tell.  If the others found out and made any comments...I might have a not so polite response.

Seriously though...I'd just tell them you appreciate their concern, but you're under the care of your dr...and as long as your dr's OK w/you and your weight and your health...then you trust your dr.  Say it nicely...but very firmly.

Unfortunately, for a lot of people, another woman's pregnancy is carte blanche for unsoliticed advice.  As a parent, I'm sure your mom's comments are coming from a place of concern for YOU, even though they may seem a bit off or insulting.  That being said, you can be really firm about it, or just smile and let it go.  My parents were really concerned, but I was in the hospital so much that it was hard to say anything that would set their minds at ease.  The one thing I kept stating to those who were "concerned" was that post-WLS pregnancy is HEALTHIER for mom and baby than pregnancy when obese.

Try this article for some good facts.  Your surgeon will likely have access to other facts as well.

http://www.obesityaction.org/magazine/oacnews7/healthqanda.p hp

You may even want to print it or type excerpts to hand out to those that are worried.  Or, you may decide that the best way to get rid of their pregnancy worries for you is to deliver a full-term healthy baby LOL

Hugs,
 

i have no advice for you, but my mom seems to think my bypass IS the reason I'm NOT getting pregnant, and shes a nurse, and has the band.... go figure

Let the first group of idiots know that they didn't bypass your uterus, only your intestines and stomach. Ask them if they think being obese and eating fried, fatty food is more healthy in their opinion. I have 2 post op children, exclusively breast fed them both without every using formula or cows milk and my labs just dropped drastically 6 years after my bypass, 18 months of pregnancy, and over 3 years so far of nursing. I am much healthier now then I was at 354 pounds.

Your mom......UGH. That would make me so mad. I would tell her that your weight is off limits to discuss and leave it at that.

My mother is vegan. She gets very annoyed with the comments. She is the one who was telling me that her response is to say, "Where was your opinion of my eating when I was eating animals deep fried and killing my arteries with cholesterol?"

I really hate other people's opinions and wouldn't tolerate them pregnant.

Very sweetly thank them for their concern, and then point out that the intestines are not in anyway connected to your uterus.

Angie

It seems that no matter what you say people are going to give their opinion.  I would just be brief in explaining what your doc says and take care of yourself.  Don't give anyone a reason to say I told you so.  This is your body and now you are living for two so ignore the comments that make you mad and welcome the comments that might help.  Good luck and God bless, Penni

Thank you ladies for your thoughts...they were helpful.  I have decided to tell people that I am under the care of my doctor and doing what she finds healthy.   And hopefully that will make people believe me :) 

I hope you all have a wonderful evening !!