in the throes of baby blues

 It's too soon to call this postpartum depression, but oh boy am I in the midst of baby blues. I can barely have any kind of conversation with my husband because as soon as I open my mouth, I start crying. I know I'm just overwhelmed, hormonal, tired and grieving the loss of my freedom, but this is so much worse than I really expected it to be! I've always been a 90 miles an hour kind of person, very on the go, working two jobs and having a small business. I'm just really struggling with the combination of having to slow myself down and being tied to the house for foreseeable future. 
I know I should be grateful, because aside from our nursing issues, Rowan is pretty awesome. Some people have colicky babies that are up al night, I have the opposite problem: it's hard to get him to wake up for feedings at night, I think he would sleep 5=6 hours at a time if we let him, but my understanding is that we're not supposed to go more than 4 hours from start to start of feedings at 1 week out. 
I just needed to whine to you guys, I can't whine out loud without crying, heck I can barely make it through typing right now! I know you mom's of multiples and who already have other kids are thinking I'm pretty wimpy right about now (and frankly, so am I)! 

It's as real for you as it is for those mom'ss with multiples!  No beating yourself up over it.

I have had crying jags too.... I figure it's horomones trying to stabilize themselves.  I just start crying for no reason....  usually when looking at my baby and realize how wonderfully perfect he is!

I feel overwhelmed by how much STUFF you have to take with you when you have a baby...   I feel like I'm tied to the house as well...  but am forcing myself to get out.

We took Cooper on his first vacation this past week.... (4 days in Wisconsin Dells) and we take him grocery shopping and to the dog park and for walks.... 

Sounds like Rowan is doing GREAT!  I wish Cooper would sleep for 5-6 hours!  I am lucky to get 2.5 hours at night! 

I also relate to your breastfeeding issues.... I am supplenting formula because my vitamins seem to upset Cooper and he seems real hungry when I try to only breast feed.  I am trying not to feel guilty about the formula.... a lot of healthy / intelligent people were raised on formula -- my dad and older brother (who was adopted) included.   I keep telling myself formula isn't the end of the world if I have to give up breastfeeding all together. 

Let's just hope these horomones get better! 

Cindy

I just wanted to tell you both that it gets better.  You will get used to slowing down, taking a truck load of stuff with you and not being able to run out without thinking of another little human being. 
The sleeping 5-6 hours at a time lasted for about 2 weeks with Zachary, he is now at about 2.5- 3 hours at a time. 

I am working on breastfeeding guilt issues too, so don't let it get to you.  If it works, it does.  If it doesn't, it isn't the end of the world.  I got so worked up with my first son and breastfeeding that I think I missed out on alot of his first 3 months.  I am bound and determined to enjoy it this time and not stress about it.  
Hope things get easier, come vent to us.  I know I feel alot better since I did my venting post last week!
Chrissy 

Thanks, Chrissy!

I agree about enjoying the "baby" period.  Breastfeeding is harder than I thought....   but like you said if it doesn't work it doesn't work....   Enjoying the baby is more important.  Feeding should never be stressful! 

Now if only I could win the lotto and not have to go back to work in a few weeks life would be "perfect" ! 

Take Care,

Cindy

When I had my son (8 1/2 years ago) I went through a similar situation. He was also jaundice and would sleep too much. I would actually take a slightly cool washcloth to his belly to get him to wake up completely. I also had a really hard time in general with breastfeeding. I think the first two weeks were the hardest - but really I struggled with it for a couple of months. I found that laying on my side in bed was the easiest way to feed him. 

I also went through the baby blues. I worked full-time right up until two days before I had him. I think with such a huge change in your life plus crazy hormones it can be overwhelming. I'm sure it will get better soon.

If you do  feel like it's too overwhelming, don't be afraid to talk to your doctor. My sister-in-law ended up going to her doctor about a week after she had her son. Take care of yourself!

Melanie

Please whine away!   We all have been there and understand completely!   I remember the first 3 weeks of my sons life I was a mess.  I would cry whenever someone would call... I even cried when I was on the phone with the laxatation consultant.   I struggled with breast feeding also.   I ended up bottle feeding him.   He is a strong ,healthy and very bright 2 1/2 year old now. :)
He was also a sleepy baby.  I remember waking him up to feed him.    Enjoy!  It doesn't last long. :)
In a month or so you'll be able to go out with him and do lots of stuff.   You won't have any time to do anything so enjoy these moments. :)

(((((HUGS)))))

Having a new little one is hard... period... And all you are feeling is completely normal with regard to the hormones... Just monitor how you are feeling in the coming weeks and if you notice things aren't improving any, talk to your doctor as soon as possible... I waited and wish I hadn't because it just made things rougher on me... And as always, know there are several women on this board (including me) who have been there recently and understand how are you feeling inside right now... You're not whimpy at all... You are NORMAL...

Hang in there and if you need to talk someone is always here to offer a shoulder or advice... This place was my life saver well before my son was born and shortly after... IT's a good resource for sure...

Awww you poor thing you sound exhausted to me! I am sending a shoulder and a greag big hug!!
It will get better I promise!
More Hugs
Beth

Just wanted to say when Nylah was born I was just like this. I felt like what did I do to my life, I couldnt think farther from that now. She is 15 months and on the go which means your freedom gets a little better as well. I am due in 3 weeks and expect a bit of down time to adjust with a newborn and toddler. I am going to try to make the most of it (please remind me of this next month when I'm whining about no sleep). And my baby HAD colic and reflux and cried 3-4 EVERY night at the same time. If anyone wants to lose their mind it is for sure mothers of colic babies, I wanted to lay down and die. Everyone kept saying "its gets better" and all I could think was f-en when?? But it does and it seems that each month gets easier and more fun. I HATED the newborn stage (ages before 6 months) but I am doing it again because I know for sure it does get better. So hang in there!!! Like Chrissy said lugging the stuff and child gets like second nature. I was always against being a SAHM but now am really considering it, I LOVE being with my daughter and I wouldnt trade 1 ounce of her to have ANY freedom, I will tote her with me everywere!!

It's good you have your eye out for this and are aware of it.  My firstborn's first four months I was alone (my husband was stationed away with the military) and I just had no one around to tell me it was supposed to be any other way.  I suffered through colic and being a new mom with the raging homones.  I just thought that's the way it was.  When my 2nd son was born it was an entirely different experience and only then did I really understand what I had gone through the first time was post partum depression.

Go to your doctor about it, they can help.  Some folks feel shame in that sort of thing but trust me, you want to be at your best when taking care of a newborn.