The suspense is killing me...Help!!!

Hi Guys its me,

You remember 39 and TTC first child.  3 yrs post op, etc.?  Well, even so, I need some encouragement badly.  Almost 2 weeks ago we had our last cycle of IUI the last two were unsuccessful.  I am not suppose to test until Thursday.  It's killing me.  I refuse to profess symptoms because once we are inseminated my mind tells me things that aren't true.  I just want this so bad and all anyone ever tells me is to relax.  How can you relax when the one thing you want so badly seems to keep slipping from your reach more and more each month that passes?

Everyone says IVF will definitely work if this doesn't. However,  Dr.'s also said there's no reason IUI won't work for you two, still nothing.  I'm not nauseas (except a little that I am sure happens everytime I start the progesterone suppositories)  No pain or feelings in the pelvic area.  I just don't know what pregnant really feels like, my only prenancy lasted 4 weeks and I miscarried the day after I was told I was pregnant.

I guess I just need some warm and fuzzy thoughts from some people who know what this feels like and won't just tell me to relax, yes, I know I need to do that too, and suggestions on how?  

Sending positive thoughts your way.  I didn't feel pregnant when I tested, I just tested because AF wasn't there...My breasts were a little fuller...but sometimes with cycles that happens too.  I say keep the faith that it worked this time, stay busy.  I can only identify that with a history of m/c believing I was pregnant and would be successful was stressful, so I lived one day at a time. Cautiously optomistic.  I know a lot of woman test early, but I guess there is a risk for a false positive if you had to use triggers etc.  Good luck- hope you have great news soon.

Thanks for the advice!  I will definitely keep busy, and I hope that Thursday gets here before I go crazy.  I have extremely sensitive breasts always and then there's the excess skin from surgery that I'm not sure I would notice a fullness right away...I won't let myself test earlier because if the test is negative I'll just be upset again sooner.  I'll be in touch with hopefully good news soon.

HIJACK!
Jen, did you get my package yet? 

Oh how I hated the "just relax advice"! I actually had a pharmacist tell me that the key is to drink a lot of red wine and stop trying. I'm sure she meant well, but I was picking up my 7th round of fertility meds after my 2nd miscarriage - not funny!

Honestly, I never found a way to let go. But I tried to keep REALLY busy and forced myself to read books or play online games whenever I had idle time so that my mind was otherwise engaged.
Keeping everything crossed for you and please keep us posted.

Hugs,

Yep, I get the same "just get a six pack and a movie and everything will be fine.  In 11 years don't people think you've tried every combination of wine/beer and the deed so that advice like that would be unnecessary.  However, as you said, they mostly mean well it is hard for people who never had fertility issues to sometimes empathize with those who do.  My sister who I love to death is "fertile Myrtle"  She said to me a few months ago, I finally see what this means to you, I don't recall what I said that made her "get it" but I'm glad she does.  All that, "you see how my kids are and you really want that heartache, and you can have mine, well I don't hear that anymore which is fine with me! 

I will keep you guys posted as soon as I know anything.  Thanks for the encouragement!

Also, don't let the age thing get to you too much.  I just found out I am pregnant and will be 38 this year.  This time I didn't even think about the possibility of being pregnant except my hubby and I went into an appt and they asked us like 30 times if I was pregnant and I kept saying "NO".  Later that night when I was relaxing I began to realize I was late and took a test and it was positive.  I am 6 weeks and beginning to feel some symptoms but it is normal to not feel anything for awhile.

The best way for me not to think about things is read.  I am sending my warm and fuzzy thoughts to you.  GOOD LUCK!

Sorry, I just wanted to let you know that for my first child I dealt with infertility problems for four years.  I had AI which was successful and then lost the baby at 12 weeks.  It was after that that my body seemed to go "OHHHHH that's what I am supposed to do."  I never had to have any treatments after that and am pregnant with my 5th, yes I am crazy, child.

I have three sisters and being the oldest was devastated to have them having children when I wanted one so badly.  The stress we put on ourselves is a killer and there really is no way to relax, just distract yourself as much as possible and keep busy, give yourself as little time to think about it as possible.

Wow!  That is awesome!  5?  Well, that makes me feel a little more optimistic.  Do you mind my asking how old were you when you had your last child?

I was 36 with the last who is 15 mos old today.  I will be 38 when this one is born.