Newbie to the Pregnancy Board.... Beware.... LONG POST!!

At this point in time I am deffinately still trying to lose as much weight as i can before boarding the baby bus. But im never going to be at that optimal healthy weight ya know.... I just dont want to be thin. Maybe that sounds nuts but ive been fat my whole life and im comfortable in my skin. I enjoy being plus size and curvy. I just dont wanna be making my own clothes anymore lol I was doing that before surgery.

I would be happy at 250 or ever 225 i just dont want to wait to get there before i board the baby bus.... but I am trying to to get under 300 before i do. Right now I am just going thru the testing trying to find out what is reasonable. I want to get pregnant by the end of the year. If i can figure out why i keep stalling and getting that straightened out i think 30lbs is doable by the time i get pregnant. Thank you for your input.

Rachel

In the end, you would probably be just fine, but know that gaining weight during pregnancy is just about guaranteed and you don't want those co-morbidities coming back with that weight gain. I would take a couple of months to really work that band hard and try to get a little more off so you have a bit more of a "cushion" against that gain.
A lot of people have found that even a modest weight loss really boosts fertility in folks w/ PCOS, so it wouldn't surprise me much if you found it very easy to get pregnant.
Also, re being pregnant with a band; some docs like to do a total unfill during pregnancy - don't let them! Especially when you're starting at a higher weight, it is perfectly safe to use your band to help you manage your weight gain as long as ultrasounds show the baby doing fine!

Thanks for your reply! AF came to town twice last year after i had lost 50lbs but then she stopped coming. I dont really know if I believe I have PCOS to be honest.... aside for my absent period and big belly i have 0 symptoms and even before my surgery no one has ever found a cyst. The dr says with clomid i can be pregnant within 3 months. Im scared and excited all at the same time lol

I did speak to my NP about getting pregnant and she said she will empty the band. I didnt know it was an option to not empty it. Were u pregnant post op?? Id love to hear about it! That is why I come on here. I swear I learn something new every day! My big Q about that. What about morning sickness?? If you dont empty the band isnt there a higher risk of damamging it from that throwing up??

Maybe I'm a pessimist about pregnancy right now because I'm going through my fourth miscarriage (I have a 14 year old son)...but your dr sounds pretty optimistic to be talking about a patient who's only had two periods in 12 months.  I'm not saying you can't be pregnant in three months...but just keep in mind that it could also take longer than that, especially because you don't have regular cycles.  The clomid isn't a guaranteed 'three months and you're pregnant' medicine.  I'm not saying it's not possible, and I honestly pray that you do get pregnant at a time when your drs agree that you're the healthiest you will likely ever be - whether that's now at 300 pounds or a year from now  when you may have lost a little more weight  - but I also disagree w/drs building too high of hopes of succeeding in getting pregnant in such a short time if you're having problems w/ovulation in the first place.  In the long run, if it didn't work immediately, you're the one who would be hurt because your dr gave you unrealistic expectations.

Also....please don't get angry when I say this...I'll say it as gently as I can (if I sound *****y....chalk it up to hormones and let the *****y tone slide)...but it's a little odd to come here only wanting to hear the rosy side of getting pregnant while still as over weight as you are.  Even if you don't want to hear it...you can pick and choose what advice you choose to listen too...but if you come here asking for opinions & advice, listen all the opinions and pick and choose what advice works for you and your situation.  Not that you can't respond back if you disagree...but just telling people you don't want to hear it and to keep it to themselves if they disagree (which is how I interpret your postings to be...but again, that could just be me...) is a little abrasive and offensive.  The women on this board have a huge spectrum of experiences that we all learn from & lean on regularly -or at least I know I do.  I'm one of the oldest women here (I'm 41)...and even though most of the others here are younger than me (some are younger than you too)....I learn from them daily.  Hopefully as you go down this path, you will too.

I have to agree with you 100%!!! I was very taken aback by the optimistic attitude of my first doctor. I am no longer seeing him. That was the doc I saw before my lap band surgery. However long it takes I have no expectations. Just the fact that I have a chance at being pregnant is good enough for me. I hav believed for the longst time that pregnancy may nver be an option bcause of my PCOS and i have a few frinds whos doctors told thm it was a miricle they ever got pregnant bc of their PCOS so i thought there was littl to no hope. I don't have unrealistic expectations. At last I don't think i do lol.

On your scond point. I am sorry if I came off that way. That was not how i meant it. Allow m to clarify. When i talk to most people about me wanting to get pregnant the first respons is usually, "OMG how old are you? 24!! Oh no you are way to young to b thinking about children!! Wait until you're lik 30!!" That I do not want to hear. Having a baby is a vry personal choice and my age at this point should not be my deciding factor. I don't want to hear about how young i am and how I have time and should live a little. That is not supportive or helpful in any way. I came here because I want to hear everything from people who have been there. I know there is a very good chance i will have complications due to my weight and I want to hear it from someone who has been there. Like Tamiis said she was 320lbs when she had her daughter. I want to know everything the good the bad and the in between. But I dont want someone who was 350lbs who had surgery got to 150lbs then got pregnant to sit there and tell me im too fat. I want to know the negative stuff too but If someone said. Oh I was 300+lbs when i got pregnant and it was aweful. I was on bed rest for 9 months then 50 hours of labor and XYZ don't do it!!! I had my second child at 250lbs and it was so much easier XYZ." I would love to hear that and I would accept it whole heartedly. I hope I am making myself a bit clearer now. Its not that I am closing my eyes to bad things that can happen.

Thank you for your post! I wish you much success on your journey!
Rachel

Honestly, I'm glad you are looking at other drs...and hope you find a good team of drs who are willing and able to work with you, getting you as healthy as possible so you have a healthy pregnancy and more importantly, a healthy baby.  I don't have PCOS and the only thing I know about it is what I've learned on this board reading the experiences of the women here....the main part being how difficult it is for many of them to get pregnant....but it is possible with the right dr and the right care.  I hope your enthusiasm and determination pays off in a big way for you.

Regarding the second matter...as I'd said...it could just be me and my mixed up emotions right now...I'm glad you're not (too?) offended by what I said.  Personally...I think 24 is a perfect age for having a baby if you're in a happy relationship (which you seem to be) and are emotionally ready for a child.  Now if you were 18 coming on here...I'd have another opinion...but you're adult enough to be married, be happy, know what you're getting into...and deserve the respect to do what's right for yourself and your DH. 

I had my son at 27 and put off having another for years because of my weight (my highest that I know of was 290...but I refused to get on a scale for years after that so it probably went up from that before coming back down to around 260 where I was at when I had WLS).  The putting off more children was more my DH's choice than mine...he didn't want me to be pregnant again when I was heavy because of his fears of the health concerns and effects on me...and unfortunately I didn't fight it because I was so unhappy myself w/my weight.  I did not have any health issues w/my weight...no diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea...nothing....I was just fat. 

I finally had WLS at 38 in order to lose the weight and TTC...and exactly (to the date) a year after my WLS when we were finally given the clearance to TTC, I ended up in the hospital having a kidney removed due to a previously undetected birth defect.  I waited a few months to recover from that before TTC...and have relatively easily gotten pregnant four times since then, miscarrying every time...and just like you indicate you get the run around from people about waitng until you're older or losing more weight to get pregnant...I get the run around now from drs indicating that my age is one of the major factors in my mc's...and I do not believe that is as big a factor as they do, because if it was my age, according to their statistics, I wouldn't even have been able to get pg 4 x in a year and a half.  Each mc has occurred at the same time...every time.  Basically what I'm rambling about here is that at 24, if you're ready...do it...and do it again and again until your family is complete....so that if, God forbid, you have a difficult time getting pregnant, you also have time to work on the issue rather than listening to your biological clock screaming like a banshee in your ear because you listened to other people telling you to wait...wait until you are older, more traveled, smaller in size, have more money, etc etc...because there will always be something else to wait for.  The ONLY thing I'd tell you to wait for is if your drs tell you to wait until you're at a healthier point in your life.  If the drs OK it...then go for it.  I'll be grinning from ear to ear when I read your BFP post...praying that you are holding your little one nine months later.

I truly think that most of the women on this board would only tell you to wait until you lost more weight simply for the health benefits to you and your baby.  They do not have the 'skinny' mentality of being fat-phobic...because I'd hazard a guess to say that even those of us who are below 200 lb (I'm BARELY under 200 lb now...I've regained about 25 pounds due to the hormones I'm taking plus the emotional eating that goes hand in hand w/all I've been going through) have moments of feeling like we're fat people in disguise...and that someone's going to come along and yank off that disguise.  If you've lost 75-85 pounds in a year and a half, and your goal is to get to around 225...if you held off on the TTC for 6-8 more months, you might make it down to 250-275 if you really worked at it (and I'm impressed you go to the gym 5x a week...God knows I could use you around to drag my ancient ass along with you!), which puts you closer to your goal and in a much healthier realm for TTC and for maintaining your pregnancy in a healthier range.

Yes, I got pregnant around 2 years post op! I did have some nausea/morning sickness for a while and asked for a little to be taken out of my band to help with that, which my doc did, then once the nausea passed (around week 14), we put it back in. In the meantime, I had zofran for the nausea so the only real vomiting I did was when I picked up a nasty stomach virus AFTER my morning sickness got better. I was able to get zofran for that as well, so I only threw up a few times. If you control the nausea and you're eating OK, there really is no reason to do a total unfill, most who have had that done have ended up gaining a LOT more weight than they would have otherwise.

Thank you so much for the advice! I will be sure when the day comes to be firm about not emptying my band. I was told that they empty the band when u find out to week 14 then they put back half of what you had then empty again at week 36 and after you deliver and recover they put back what they took out at 36 weeks and you continue from there. Can I ask how the delivery was with the band and ur fluid in?

That sounds like an awful lot of futzing with the band to me.
Don't know how the delivery is, it hasn't happened yet!