Newbie to the Pregnancy Board.... Beware.... LONG POST!!

Hello Ladies,

I am here looking for some help, advise, support....something positive along my journey of many negatives. Let me tell you a little about me. My name is Rachel. I have been married for 3.5 years. I am 24 years old, a social worker, and post op lap bander. My WLS journey began about 2 years ago when I went for my first consult with a fertility doctor. Due to my "alleged" PCOS my husband and I have not been successful in getting pregnant. At the time I was 375lbs. I had no intention of ever having WLS and I had failed with flying colors every single weight loss attempt I have tried. Believe me, I have tried it all. From fat camp to weigh****chers and everything in between. Although I was fat my whole life I never really let it define me. I never let it hold me back. I played 4 seasonal sports in high school always had friends and a line up of men to date.
Thats neither here nor there I guess... Either way, We wanted to have a baby. Well I saw this fertility doc 3 times and he never said one word about my weight. I met him and he was like ok lets get you pregnant. Well I am sure you can all relate when I tell you I was floored. Every doctor out there blamed everything on my weight. If I had a headache it was because I was fat. Sore throat, well obviously there is too much fat around my esophagus so irritation may occur. I have heard it all! When this guy said nothing I just didnt know what to do. It was unfamiliar territory i guess. So of course I brought it up. After a 45 minute conversation with the doctor and 12 soaked tissues later I went home and spoke to my husband about putting the baby plan on hold so i can lose some weight. I was depressed and upset but im a trooper. After 2 weeks in bed I got up and called Dr. Geiss for a consult to have lap band surgery.

Fast forward to January 4, 2008. I had my consult with Dr. Geiss and the scale had gone up a bit to 385. Not happy!! I had my surgery March 10, 2008. I didnt have my surgery to get skinny or lose my sleep apnea. I had it to have my baby. My husband prefers me over weight and believe it or not my biggest fear in it all was..... Will he still be attracted to me if I get skinny??? Either way I have no intentions of getting thin. My goal weight 5 years down the road is 225lbs. I have been there before Its comfortable and I can move on with my life.

My endocrinologist told me if I get to 300 it will be safe for me to get pregnant. I will still be high risk but I will be much healthier.

Fast forward again to the present. Here I am just over a year out of surgery and down to 330lbs. I just saw a new reproductive endocrinologist. He sent me for bloodwork... 2 hr glucose tolerence test a cbc and a PCOS pannel. EVERYTHING came back normal. No diabetes, no symptoms of my "alleged" PCOS. no high blood pressure, cholesterol NADA. I have an appointment nxt week to see a Fetal Maternal OB GYN. I am SCARED!!! His report is going to be my Reproductive Endo's deciding factor as to whether or not he will treat me and if I have to wait another 6mths to a yr before I can begin trying to get pregnant.

Now I know some of you are deffinitely thinking im insane for even trying to get pregnant at 300+lbs and some of you are thinking that I am so young and I should live a little before I get pregnant. Well folks. I am sick of hearing those two answers and that is not why I am posting so please, if that is your reply, do not post below. To everyone else, here are my questions....

1. Were any of you my size when you got pregnant?
2. If so, would you be willing to talk to me about your experiences?
3. Have any of you had to see a Fetal Maternal Medicine guy?
4. What was that like?
5. I really need support... so any encouraging words right now are always appreciated! 

I am sorry for this LOOOONG post. I really needed to get this all out. I look forward to meeting you all and becoming an active member n this board :-)

Rachel

 I am sorry if I came off like i am totally ignoring the fact that I am 300+lbs and dont want anyone to say anything about it... That was not how i meant it. Allow me to clarify. When i talk to most people about me wanting to get pregnant the first respons is usually, "OMG how old are you? 24!! Oh no you are way to young to b thinking about children!! Wait until you're lik 30!!" That I do not want to hear. Having a baby is a vry personal choice and my age at this point should not be my deciding factor. I don't want to hear about how young i am and how I have time and should live a little. That is not supportive or helpful to me in any way. I came here because I want to hear everything from people who have been there. I know there is a very good chance i will have complications due to my weight and I want to hear it from someone who has been there. Like Tamiis said she was 320lbs when she had her daughter. I want to know everything the good the bad and the in between. But I dont want someone who was 350lbs who had surgery got to 150lbs then got pregnant to sit there and tell me im too fat. Trust me I know im fat lol Im looking in the mirror right now and I see it. I want to know the negative stuff too but If someone said. Oh I was 300+lbs when i got pregnant and it was aweful. I was on bed rest for 9 months then 50 hours of labor and XYZ don't do it!!! I had my second child at 250lbs and it was so much easier XYZ." I would love to hear that and I would accept it whole heartedly. I hope I am a bit clearer now. Its not that I am closing my eyes to bad things that can happen or my weight.  

I'll tell you about my experience. I was 26 and 320 when I got pregnant with my daughter. I was doing weigh****chers at the time and had just lost 45 lbs. I found out I was pregnant and was scared cause I didn't know of anyone who was my size that got pregnant before. I had no health issues like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. My pregnancy went really well and I felt good throughout, just the normal stuff every pregnant woman goes through. As I got into the third trimester my blood pressure was creeping up but not too crazy, just something they kept an eye on. Because my blood pressure got higher the farther I went along, they decided to enduce me at 38 weeks, which was full term. I had some issues with the delivery which weren't weight related and ended up having a C section. I ended up getting an infection in my insicsion which I was also told was not weight related. My daughter was healthy and only had jaundice which again wasn't weight related. I gained all of that 45 lbs back during pregnancy and more afterwards but I got the band  now so that's a different story. Feel free to PM me if you want to ask me anything.

Thanks so much for sharing! I know its not the best possible way to go but its good to know it is possible.

I don't have any experience or answers to your questions but I just wanted to say good luck!

Sandy

Thanks Sandy!

If you're happy at your current weight, and have the OK of your dr that you're healthy enough to do this w/o causing harm to yourself or your baby...go for it.  It may not be the weight most people would choose to begin the journey on...but we're not you.  Whatever you decide to do...stick w/your dr and make sure that you do it in the healthiest manner possible...and good luck.  Regarding your age...you're not too young. 

Thanks for your support! 

i was debating on responding to you. i still dont know if i will say everything i want because you said you dont want to hear it... but really i think you do need to hear it.

i got preggo on my 22nd birthday... at 172 lbs and 3 years out of my rny... not planned ... but welcomed.... baby is healthy mom is healthy....

getting preggo while fat is not always easy or healthy for you or the baby... see... a little over a year ago you had major surgery..... your body is STILL healing from,,, really i also dont think being preggo at 300# is healthy for you or baby.... being preggo is very very hard on the body.... i think you should get to a more healthy weight before getting preggo... why not give it  a better chance?

Thanks for your reply. I understand what you are saying and i have heard it all before. The way I see it is this. I am never going to be at a much healthier weight than I am now. So if I am 300 lbs the rest of my life does that mean i cant ever have a baby because im too fat? Thats rediculous. Im young, I have an amazing husband a stable home a degree. The timing is right in my life. Just because im not at a "healthy" weight doesnt mean I can't have a healthy pregnancy. 

If you take a step back from all the BS the world feeds us about how thin is sooooo much better then you are naieve. I am healthier than half of my skinny friends. Maybe their metabolism is faster but I dont sit around on my couch all day not going to the gym and eating burger king. I am a healthy person, I lead a healthy life. I eat right i go to the gym 5 days a week. My body is in the best shape its ever been in. Im losing inches but the number on the scale just isnt following.

I said in my origional post i dont need to hear it and i dont wanna hear it. Ive heard everyone cry fat before and I have weighed my options and taken a good hard look at my life and now is the time. Thank you for your input and for responding. I hope you can see things in a bit of a different light now. Please understand I am not trying to attack you in any way I just hope you can see things a bit differently now.

Rachel

nope.. i dont think you are attacking me.. and if you did i really wouldnt care.... being a young mom is wonderful in so many ways.... you have tons of energy... tons of "kid" left in you that you can get on thier level more then an "older" mom.... i dont know many people who have takin their kid to seaworld for feed dolphins at 8 months...however its not all fairy tales and lolly pops...i didnt say thin is so much better.. and really i dnt think 110 lbs is healthy... but neither is 300 to carry a baby,,, by all means if you think you can do it... go for it.... another thing.... maybe if you can loose a little more weight before you get on the baby bus... you can do it on your own.... and not have to pay big bucks to get preggo.... even with insurance its still expensive...good luck... your responce was the reason i didnt want to reply to you... btw.... im young... have a degree... stable home... make great money... still i struggle making ends meet