Dr confirmed my suspicions.
Thanks for everyone's comments/support to my post the other day.
The following is a long, *****y rant....sorry...but I have to vent or explode...
I was able to go in today to see the dr....I'm sort of in limbo w/dr choices...my 'normal' (regular medical) dr transferred out of Jakarta a few weeks ago and her replacement hasn't arrived, but there's a 2nd dr in the office who gave me the rhogam injection today.
She wanted me to do an u/s to check on the cervical polyp I'd mentioned and to just confirm the mc...but the normal ob/gyn I see (an Indonesian dr) is on vacation this week...so she sent me to another one. This is the first (and last!) time I see him. When I was talking to him and he asked about my mc history, I mentioned I was currently having a mc...and his question...'How do you know? What makes you think you're miscarrying?' WTF? Ummmm.....a little bird whispered it in my ear? I woke up this morning and just decided that was it?! Or could it possibly be the heavy bleeding & blood clots & the fact that I've BTDT three times before and know what the 'f' I'm talking about? Anyways...I mentioned the possiblity of the cervical polyp, so he did an exam for that and confirmed I was correct on that...and then did an u/s and confirmed I was correct on mc too.
After I got dressed, my DH and I were talking to him, he reviewed all the results of the numerous blood tests I've had done...then jumped on the bandwagon regarding the blood clotting disorders and had to remind me that my age definitely makes a difference...after all (in his words) 'your eggs are 41 years old!' Wish I had a baseball bat w/me.
He had no answer as to why this happens at six weeks every freaking time.
If it was chromosomal due to my antique eggs...wouldn't it SOMETIMES go beyond six weeks...say 8, 10, 12, 16 weeks? His answer...yes, most likely. Even though I'm 41....I have to have at least ONE good egg left in me don't I? Yes. Is it NORMAL for a 41 year old to have four consecutive mc? No...normally a 41 year old has trouble even getting pregnant and that's what they're coming to the dr for. Well...I don't fit that pattern....I get pregnant relatively easily...I just can't STAY that way and need them to find out why.
If it was a blood clotting problem, wouldn't the blood clotting issues show up SOMEWHERE else in my life...I literally have flown around the entire world...just for me to fly to the U.S. from Indonesia is a 27 hour flight! I have done it numerous times, straight through, and NEVER had any blood clotting issues. He questioned me when I told him I'd never had any issues...as if I'd have missed that too. When I asked what a new course of action would be since I did the 2 baby aspirin a day, 5,000 mg folic acid, daily lovenox injections...and still miscarried....he hemmed and hawed and finally said that sometimes they increase the lovenox to 2-3 times per day...but didn't sound as if he was very confident in that answer.
I know that they may never find out what the problem is...but if they don't know...don't put it off on my age and the blood clotting issues, especially when there's nothing to back up that that is the problem. Could be and definitely are are two separate issues. I'd respect someone a lot more if they just f'ing told me they don't know!
Basically....after talking to him for over an hour....I still have no answers. I was once again reminded that I am 41 (thanks...I'd forgotten that...here I was thinking I was 20)...Reminded that even if I did get pregnant, there was an increased risk of Downs Syndrome (uh....don't you have to get the baby to live long enough in the first place before we worry about that? )....and advised that w/all my blood clotting issues and the multi-miscarriages, that he thinks that's still the problem...and some women just don't respond to the lovenox injections...I did finally get a tid-bit of useful information, because he said there's a tests called Factor Xa (ten a) that can be done to see how my blood responds to the lovenox and determine if I need to increase that...but that was after an hour talking. He also said that if it's a blood clotting issue...I should start the lovenox around 7 days past conception (ie, if we do IUI again, start lovenox a week later, rather than wait for the BFP...because that puts it 2-3 weeks after conception, when problems could already be developing). He doesn't think there are any additional tests that can be done...apparently the 'tissue' has already passed on this mc and I missed it so they can't do an analysis on it...and to 'just keep trying.'
Overall...I know he's doing the best he can...and I know I'm angry and hurting right now...but I am not happy with his best either. To me...every dr I've seen so far are taking the easy route and just chalking everything up to age and blood clotting issues...and that's as far as they can see. As my DH said...if you go to your regular dr because you constantly have a headache...and that dr knows you have high blood pressure, it's not right to just chalk the headache up to high blood pressure w/o looking further...ie...do you need new glasses? Do you clench your teeth and give yourself headaches that way? Most problems have more than one cause...but they just don't seem interested in looking for my causes...it's easier to just chalk it up to what they already know.
Anyways...enough....I'm going to put a separate post asking for some information from as many people a possible re good clinics/drs in the states. I think at this point, it's time I came to the U.S. to see what the drs there can do, if anything.
If you've read this far...you deserve a hug for hanging in there. Thanks.
The following is a long, *****y rant....sorry...but I have to vent or explode...
I was able to go in today to see the dr....I'm sort of in limbo w/dr choices...my 'normal' (regular medical) dr transferred out of Jakarta a few weeks ago and her replacement hasn't arrived, but there's a 2nd dr in the office who gave me the rhogam injection today.
She wanted me to do an u/s to check on the cervical polyp I'd mentioned and to just confirm the mc...but the normal ob/gyn I see (an Indonesian dr) is on vacation this week...so she sent me to another one. This is the first (and last!) time I see him. When I was talking to him and he asked about my mc history, I mentioned I was currently having a mc...and his question...'How do you know? What makes you think you're miscarrying?' WTF? Ummmm.....a little bird whispered it in my ear? I woke up this morning and just decided that was it?! Or could it possibly be the heavy bleeding & blood clots & the fact that I've BTDT three times before and know what the 'f' I'm talking about? Anyways...I mentioned the possiblity of the cervical polyp, so he did an exam for that and confirmed I was correct on that...and then did an u/s and confirmed I was correct on mc too.
After I got dressed, my DH and I were talking to him, he reviewed all the results of the numerous blood tests I've had done...then jumped on the bandwagon regarding the blood clotting disorders and had to remind me that my age definitely makes a difference...after all (in his words) 'your eggs are 41 years old!' Wish I had a baseball bat w/me.
He had no answer as to why this happens at six weeks every freaking time.
If it was chromosomal due to my antique eggs...wouldn't it SOMETIMES go beyond six weeks...say 8, 10, 12, 16 weeks? His answer...yes, most likely. Even though I'm 41....I have to have at least ONE good egg left in me don't I? Yes. Is it NORMAL for a 41 year old to have four consecutive mc? No...normally a 41 year old has trouble even getting pregnant and that's what they're coming to the dr for. Well...I don't fit that pattern....I get pregnant relatively easily...I just can't STAY that way and need them to find out why.
If it was a blood clotting problem, wouldn't the blood clotting issues show up SOMEWHERE else in my life...I literally have flown around the entire world...just for me to fly to the U.S. from Indonesia is a 27 hour flight! I have done it numerous times, straight through, and NEVER had any blood clotting issues. He questioned me when I told him I'd never had any issues...as if I'd have missed that too. When I asked what a new course of action would be since I did the 2 baby aspirin a day, 5,000 mg folic acid, daily lovenox injections...and still miscarried....he hemmed and hawed and finally said that sometimes they increase the lovenox to 2-3 times per day...but didn't sound as if he was very confident in that answer.
I know that they may never find out what the problem is...but if they don't know...don't put it off on my age and the blood clotting issues, especially when there's nothing to back up that that is the problem. Could be and definitely are are two separate issues. I'd respect someone a lot more if they just f'ing told me they don't know!
Basically....after talking to him for over an hour....I still have no answers. I was once again reminded that I am 41 (thanks...I'd forgotten that...here I was thinking I was 20)...Reminded that even if I did get pregnant, there was an increased risk of Downs Syndrome (uh....don't you have to get the baby to live long enough in the first place before we worry about that? )....and advised that w/all my blood clotting issues and the multi-miscarriages, that he thinks that's still the problem...and some women just don't respond to the lovenox injections...I did finally get a tid-bit of useful information, because he said there's a tests called Factor Xa (ten a) that can be done to see how my blood responds to the lovenox and determine if I need to increase that...but that was after an hour talking. He also said that if it's a blood clotting issue...I should start the lovenox around 7 days past conception (ie, if we do IUI again, start lovenox a week later, rather than wait for the BFP...because that puts it 2-3 weeks after conception, when problems could already be developing). He doesn't think there are any additional tests that can be done...apparently the 'tissue' has already passed on this mc and I missed it so they can't do an analysis on it...and to 'just keep trying.'
Overall...I know he's doing the best he can...and I know I'm angry and hurting right now...but I am not happy with his best either. To me...every dr I've seen so far are taking the easy route and just chalking everything up to age and blood clotting issues...and that's as far as they can see. As my DH said...if you go to your regular dr because you constantly have a headache...and that dr knows you have high blood pressure, it's not right to just chalk the headache up to high blood pressure w/o looking further...ie...do you need new glasses? Do you clench your teeth and give yourself headaches that way? Most problems have more than one cause...but they just don't seem interested in looking for my causes...it's easier to just chalk it up to what they already know.
Anyways...enough....I'm going to put a separate post asking for some information from as many people a possible re good clinics/drs in the states. I think at this point, it's time I came to the U.S. to see what the drs there can do, if anything.
If you've read this far...you deserve a hug for hanging in there. Thanks.
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
*hugs* I read every word and wish I had answers. I was going to suggest that you go to a Dr in a more "developed" country. maybe not all the way to the US - but is there something in Europe? Maybe even Japan? Not really sure what medicine is like over there having never been.
Wish that there was something I could do or say, but the only thing I can do is offer to be here if you need anything!
Liz
Wish that there was something I could do or say, but the only thing I can do is offer to be here if you need anything!
Liz
Thanks Liz.
I did go to Singapore in February, and they did more blood work which identified two more blood clotting issues for the drs to harp about....but both drs today (in the med unit at work and the ob/gyn) said that the drs in the U.S. are the best. Surprisingly enough...at least for my work...they medevac people out of Japan and send them to Singapore...I guess the hospitals in Japan are OK for 'normal' medical issues, but not major ones. I did tell my husband (jokingly...) that I could go to one of the clinics in India where they have 70 year old women giving birth (w/donated eggs, of course)...if they can keep someone old enough to be my grandmother pregnant...you'd think they could keep me pregnant too!
I did go to Singapore in February, and they did more blood work which identified two more blood clotting issues for the drs to harp about....but both drs today (in the med unit at work and the ob/gyn) said that the drs in the U.S. are the best. Surprisingly enough...at least for my work...they medevac people out of Japan and send them to Singapore...I guess the hospitals in Japan are OK for 'normal' medical issues, but not major ones. I did tell my husband (jokingly...) that I could go to one of the clinics in India where they have 70 year old women giving birth (w/donated eggs, of course)...if they can keep someone old enough to be my grandmother pregnant...you'd think they could keep me pregnant too!
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila & salt and give me a call!
Hugs Holly! I am sorry that you are going through this.
I too, have BTDT with the whole doctor issue. Although, I am not sure how I would handle it in a different country. I remember after my 3rd miscarriage and them doing the blood clotting tests and only 1 of them coming back slightly abnormal that all the doctors wanted to dismiss it as being a possible cause. Saying that it just was 'slightly' abnormal and shouldn't be causing my miscarriages. I knew damn well that something was not right... the baby was tested and normal. Then I had read a study from the University of Georgia (I think) that stated if ANY of the blood clotting tests came back abnormal that it could be contributing to a m/c. I even had the one maternal fetal specialist tell me that I had a NORMAL pregnancy to birth ratio. I wanted to jump across the desk and strangle him, while beating his head against the table and ask him how normal he would feel to have 4 babies literally die inside of you!? Some doctors just don't want to put it out there that they DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING and aren't God!
I'm sorry. I wish I had some piece of information to provide to you... or a recommendation for a doctor here in the states. All I can offer is a sympathetic ear, a shoulder, and reassurance that you are not alone.
Hugs, Love and Prayers
B
I too, have BTDT with the whole doctor issue. Although, I am not sure how I would handle it in a different country. I remember after my 3rd miscarriage and them doing the blood clotting tests and only 1 of them coming back slightly abnormal that all the doctors wanted to dismiss it as being a possible cause. Saying that it just was 'slightly' abnormal and shouldn't be causing my miscarriages. I knew damn well that something was not right... the baby was tested and normal. Then I had read a study from the University of Georgia (I think) that stated if ANY of the blood clotting tests came back abnormal that it could be contributing to a m/c. I even had the one maternal fetal specialist tell me that I had a NORMAL pregnancy to birth ratio. I wanted to jump across the desk and strangle him, while beating his head against the table and ask him how normal he would feel to have 4 babies literally die inside of you!? Some doctors just don't want to put it out there that they DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING and aren't God!
I'm sorry. I wish I had some piece of information to provide to you... or a recommendation for a doctor here in the states. All I can offer is a sympathetic ear, a shoulder, and reassurance that you are not alone.
Hugs, Love and Prayers
B
Thanks B.
I'm w/you re bashing the dr....I can honestly say that at least I haven't heard that I have a 'normal ratio,' though hearing it's normal for someone my age doesn't make me feel better either. When this dr today's sitting there agreeing my logic is correct that consistent mc at 6 weeks isn't consistent w/'symptoms' of chromosomal issues and blood clotting issues...then turning around and chalking the mc's up to chromosomal (due to age) and blood clotting problems...makes me want to scream. My husband did cut in a few times to talk more calmly...because I was not hiding the fact that I was annoyed at not getting a straight logical answer.
I'm w/you re bashing the dr....I can honestly say that at least I haven't heard that I have a 'normal ratio,' though hearing it's normal for someone my age doesn't make me feel better either. When this dr today's sitting there agreeing my logic is correct that consistent mc at 6 weeks isn't consistent w/'symptoms' of chromosomal issues and blood clotting issues...then turning around and chalking the mc's up to chromosomal (due to age) and blood clotting problems...makes me want to scream. My husband did cut in a few times to talk more calmly...because I was not hiding the fact that I was annoyed at not getting a straight logical answer.
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
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