How do I think calmly?

Hi Ladies...

So Friday is my 12 week appt. I am having alot of anxiety about it. I should be getting to hear the heartbeat and I am terrified the baby won't be alive...I am still having all the "normal" symptoms and everything. I just know there have been so many esp. on this forum that have went to the appt. and there is bad news. I talked to my Mom about it and she said that at this point (I have had 2 previous ultrasounds and the HB last time was 154) if I miscarried I would be bleeding or having obvious m/s signs...It just worries me alot and I want to stay positive because I know stressing out makes it worse...Any words of encouragment would be great!! I know I can count on you ladies to help me out!

Another thing is I am having low back pain. It feels like when you put on a very tight t-shirt and to stretch it out you pull on the front and the back gets very tight...that is how it feels. I am showing more and so I am pretty sure that this is what is going on...anybody else ever had that feeling?

Thanks so much Ladies!!!!
~Flora

Flora,
I just went through this same anxiety myself on Monday. I also went in for my 12 week appointment and the nuchal translucency ultrasound. I was SO anxious about the appointment, especially because the morning sickness has calmed down quite a bit.

Well, I worried for nothing because as soon as she put the ultrasound probe on my tummy, I could see the baby squirming around like crazy!  It even had the hiccups.

Try to remember that once you see/hear the heartbeat, the chance of miscarriage drops to 1-2%. I'm sure everything will be just fine-especially since you are still have pregnancy symptoms.  If the baby had stopped growing, you wouldn't have them.  I know with my daughter, I panicked before each appoinment, whether it was I  didn't feel sick, my stomach felt smaller, I couldn't feel her move as much....I was being a spaz....
 

Flora -
I don't really have any advice - after all I'm 34 weeks and I get nervous before every appointment that something will be wrong. But at the same time - while there have been a lot of losses around here lately which completely sucks - there have also been a lot of precious babies born as well.

Frankly - you're going to be worrying about this child for the rest of your life - because the worrying won't stop once they are in your arms. My mother still makes me call her when I reach destinations if I'm going on a trip or something and I'm 27.

Easier said then done - but just relax. Good luck at your appointment (mine is Friday too and we have to hope that Drew is no longer breech!)

Thanks Shauna...and good luck to you on Friday too!! Hope Drew is in the right position!!

Thanks for the words of encouragement Keya...it really helps alot!!

I had an appointment last Friday just after Liz lost her baby and I was freaking out!! I was sooo scared that I had a miscarriage also and for some reason I had no signs because I know that can happen... Well the doctor found the heartbeat w/ in a second and it was strong and healthy. I worried for nothing. I know there is really no way to get rid of every last bit of worry but there is also no reason for worrying because it will not change anything other than drive you crazy!! You will probably feel much better going forward after this appointment because you are so close to you second trimester. That was my big goal and now that I am there I can finally breath!

Good luck at your appt! I'm sure baby will be perfect!

-Ashlie

Im right there with you. I had some disharge tthat had some blood in it and since then i have been spazzing!!!! I didnt have any cramping or real blleding and it stopped within a day. I did relax a few days. Im fne how but still freaking. The baby's hb at my last u/s was 184. I go back on july 14th for my 1st trimester screening. Im praying its ok!!

Flora,
I'm sure everything is ok with your baby. I've been thinking how to respond to you, to give you some kind of comfort. But what I have learned from my recent miscarriage is everything is out of my hands. I did everything possible to care and make sure my baby was healthy. There was nothing I did to cause my baby to die.

I had a feeling something was wrong and was having period like cramps but no spotting. My body felt different too...like my baby bump went down. Miscarriage is awful and it happens. But worrying is wasting these precious moments you have with your baby inside you. Trust me when I was pregnant with my 9 year old and it was time for him to come out into the world.... I looked back and cherished that time only I had with him. For today you are pregnant, enjoy each day as it goes.

And the stretching is way normal! I had that with my son!

Jackie

Flora...I am hoping all is well.  It sounds like so far everything has been on track which is great news.  I went through m/c and was a horrible wreck with my pregnancy with my daughter.  Honestly, looking back I can say that nervousness did limit my ability to enjoy my pregnancy.  Speaking from someone who has lived the m/c expeirence (finding out at a u/s) it is shocking, difficult, etc.  But I am slowly learned (as a very wise lady said before) my m/c had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do, and it was completely out of my hands.  So every appointment with some nerves, I tell myself if something is wrong, I had my baby ___ this long and it was a plan that wasn't formed by me and there is nothing I can do to alter that.  Worrying and parenting seem to go hand and hand.  Losses happen at all stages of pregnancy from conception on to after birth- while I hope that none of need to experience those losses they do happen (I lost my baby at 9/10 weeks, my sister lost her baby at 20 weeks, my mother lost a baby at birth- all for unexplained reasons).  The best we can do is live day to day with our children / babies.  Oh- and I have a u/s on Friday too...I always call it the u/s dread- usually starts 3 days ahead of the appointment. Keep us posted I can't wait to hear about your bouncing baby. 

Flora - Like Jackie I was trying to come up with words to comfort you. Once you have heard the heartbeat the chance of a miscarriage drops to 1-2% I believe (sorry if I am being repetative) I hadn't heard the heartbeat (obviously) that was my first appt.

Can't wait to hear all about your US on friday!! What time is it??? Maybe some pics to post too???

*hugs*

Li