How do you

ever hold hope again that you will have your beautiful baby...once you lost a child. I'm sorry to bring this to the board. One week ago I was on cloud nine planning what my babies nursery would look like....and the biggest my choice what could I possibly name this baby. Now to think my baby is gone and I'm empty. Will it really ever happen for me again? It's so hard to see so many beautiful babies and yearn to hold your own baby in your arms. You really never think that this could happen to you. For all who lost babies before me..I'm so sorry...my heart is breaking with you. Those excepting a baby hug your belly's. And realize you have been given the best gift a woman can have.

Jackie

JAckie I am so there with you. That being said, I have talked to so many people over the last few days and not ONE has said - oh this happened over and over to me (maybe I didn't talk to those people) but everyone that I did talk to told me they had a loss and within a few cycles were pregnant again. Believe me I am scared to death that this will happen to me again - but I know that the fear and worry can't be easy on my system. My goal is going to be to convince myself that God was protecting me and the baby from something - in my case the baby never developed - if it had it would have had major medical problems. I just hope and pray that my next pregnancy will be without issue and the baby will be in my arms (in less then a year I hope!)

*hugs* sweetie - I'm right there with you.

I agree - Baking Mama's pat those bellies for me and enjoy every minute! I can't wait to be joining you again

Liz

It will happen again. Since I was young I have lost 5 pregnancies and yet I have 2 beautiful boys 15 and 10 and 1 on the way now that is getting further. I had a miscarriage in March of this year and got pregnant in March again. It can happen. You never lose the fear once you have had a loss but you still hold on to some hope and realise every pregnancy is different. I am still worried for this one but I am hopeful. Each pregnancy is a miracle and you will be able to have yours also. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

I still look at children who would be my babies age and miss them...but I have had 2 since my first m/c and one since the last.   I don't think I breathed during the first trimester.  But it is so true, you feel so empty and even though you will most likely have another healthy baby, the baby you lost was a part of you and always will be.  I lost one 2nd trimester and we still talk about her as part of our family.  The kids look at ultrasound pics and I know in Heaven I will have my two angels to hold finally! It is ok to grieve, but there is so much more hope for future pregnancies and it is good to hold on to that...sorry if this was rambling I hope it makes sense to you.  ...and btw...I cried with both you and Liz when I read your sad news this week and even though I don't "know" either of you my heart broke for your loss.  Wishing future blessings to you. -Jen

I'm sorry you're going thru this.  My mc was 1 yr ago on 6/16/08.  I felt sad & affraid I'd never carry another baby....but here i am 31 wks along.  It can happen for you too.  I know it's discouraging but don't give up!  Hugs!

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I have lost 3 babies and, at times, my hope along the way. Talking about it helps some, especially with your DH. When I lost hope, my DH hoped enough for both of us and vice versa.

I'm here if you need to chat - anytime!

Hugs and healing my friend,

I've lost hope many times that I'd never have a family of my own...people all around me were getting pregnant left and right while I was the one that couldn't get pregnant or couldn't keep hold of one.  It's so hard.  Even now, I'm scared to death of something happening.  There are so many babies lost on this board lately that I'm just so sad for everyone suffering.

You will get through this...not completely, but you will get back up on that horse and try again when the time is right...even when you do get pregnant again, this pregnancy will be in the front of your mind.  I think this happens to every woman that has lost a baby.  They are a little piece of us we can't ever let go completely.

I give you a BIG cyber HUG!!!  I give all the ladies that have lost their little angels a BIG CYBER HUG!!!

Sandy

Jackie,
I have been thinking this and feeling this way for a week and a half or 2 weeks now. 
I have been wondering will it happen again, will this miracle come my way again, or was once all I got and i blew my chance?  I agree those who are pregnant and happy on cloud nine, hug and love your baby you are SOO lucky you have the best gift that god could give any of us.  
I am starting to feel a little more like it might happen again after meeting with my OB and some of the positive things she said and now how carefully she plans to watch me next time I get that positive test.  I think oddly enough hearing how positive she was and how positive the DH is, is making me feel more positive that this miracle might come my way again.  And it will come your way again too Jackie, as soon as you are ready. 

My miscarriage was so much harder to me than the death of people close to me.  It was the loss of not only "someone" that I cared about, but also represented the loss of so many hopes and dreams.  The best advice I can give you is to allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right to you and do as long as you feel like doing it.  I read in your post that you have had children before, so chances are that you WILL have a healthy baby with your husband, and this was just a fluke  Many many woman have miscarriages and go on to have happy healthy babies, I'll keep my fingers crossed that the same happens for you.

Hi Jackie,

My loss was a pain like no other I have felt. It was even a hard decision for us to try again.  Now I am pregnant, with all of my fingers crossed.  I am just waiting for something to go wrong.  I had one day of spotting at 5 weeks.  I have had an ultrasound, I am pregnant, the baby has a heartbeat, I am just scared that I will loose this baby too. I haven't even told my mother. I just don't want to have to tell everyone again this time if something goes wrong. 

I had two healthy pregnancies before surgery, had never had a miscarriage before. Now the fear won't leave. I just continue to think that today I am still pregnant. I have another ultrasound on Friday, If the baby is still OK, and growing appropriately, we will begin to tell immediate family. And hopefully my fear will start to subside(It probably won't until the baby is in my arms).