Shutting off the plumbing.... *sigh*

Chelle,

My heart goes out to you.  I oh so remember how I felt when I decided to have a tubal.  I think the issue is that it is sooooooooo "permanent"...When I was sitting in the OB/GYN waiting for my consult before my tubal and seeing all those pregnant women sitting there, I literally had a panic attack and started crying.  I mean...we have 8 healthy children...and really 8 is quite enough for any couple to raise...LOL  It did not make it any easier for me to do it.  I will be praying for you, and praying for you to have peace with your decision.  It truly is a big decision and you have to do what is best for YOU and YOUR b/f....not what anyone else thinks.  Just know that I honestly think that all of the emotions you are having are really normal, and you are not over reacting or being freaky about it. It  is one of the biggest decisions you will ever have to make.  

Many hugs and prayers for you sweetie!

Laura

Mom to 8

Alyssa - 21 (22 on June 27)
Tessa - 18 (19 on July 7)
Jessica - 17
Bethany - 16
Hannah - 15
Brittany - 13
Samantha - 10 (11 on June 27)
Kolbe - 7 

Hi Laura! Thanks for responding to my post... I've sure went thru a lot of emotions over this whole thing... It was supposed to be done after Zander was born back in December but my doctor delayed things... Then I moved away from that area and had to find a new doc... So now it got back on track but even this doctor kept asking me if I was sure, etc... I'm 36 now and he assured me that I can have more kids safely and such... It's almost like the docs dont want to do a tubal after just one baby now... At least the ones around here seem to be that way....

I've been pretty emotional all day today and I am sure tomorrow will be even worse once it's all said and done... I know I will have regrets for a while but I know this is probably the best thing I can do for us... Although if I was younger, it may be a totally different story....

Thanks for the thoughts & prayers hon! I'll update when I can.......

I'm just hoping that I am doing the right thing here and won't regret it later... I love Zander & love being a mommy... But I wonder sometimes what it would be like to do this again... But also wonder how healthy my next baby would be too... Would I get lucky again? Or would my baby have problems??.... I know I am babbling now but just feel like I need to hear something from others on the outside... Everyone around me is supportive of my decision to have the tubal done (except my BFF cuz she thinks I will want another baby once Zander hits 2).... I just don't know...

I'm happy with just having Zander, but don't know how I am going to feel later down the road...

Chelle,

I would never dream of telling anyone what to do, but just wanted to point out that you do sound kind of unsure about this.  As for having another baby, there are no guarantees on how s/he would turn out, just like there were none with Zander.  You just hope and pray for the best each time.  

I had a c-section when my son was born, and knew for sure we didn't want any more children (2 was it!), so I had a tubal ligation.  Even in knowing for sure I was making the right decision, it still felt a little strange.  But not because I actually wondered if I'd want more -- only because I knew that now I never would be able to.

Are you planning to have the tubal ligation because you're having the D & C and that way it would only be one surgery?  (That's certainly why I did it after my son was born -- they were going to be in there, anyway!)  But if you're finding yourself still really torn, maybe you could wait on the tubal ligation?  Just a thought.  I would never want to tell you what to do, but this is a big decision, and it seems like it might be wise to wait if you're not 100% sure.

HUGS!

Cindy 

 

Cindy,

No the D&C was scheduled by the doctor because of my period issues... The tubal is going to be done lap... My sister & I talked about the tubal and she said she felt the same way... I don't think I will EVER be 100% sure about the surgery... But I really think it's more the surgery itself that scares me.... Not the outcome, if that makes sense... Zander was my 3rd pregnancy, but only full term baby.... I'm so very luck to have him! He's so happy & healthy and is going to be just enough for me to raise as a single momma....

My situation is different, but I'll just share a little.  When I had Sophie, I swore to the high heavens that I would never be pregnant again, that I hated every minute of it, and if a baby wasn't coming out of it, I would have jumped off a cliff just to end it all.  I really was not a good preggo.  After I had her, it changed little by little and I thought, "She is so amazing in ways I never expected."  And it changed me.  She is almost 7 months old, and already I am wanting to do it again.  But I need to get some crap worked out in my personal life and lose a bunch of weight first.  Soooo  I agree with your BFF.  Yes, you already have one child, but I do believe that unless we are absolutely sure we are done, that we should think long and hard before we do anything permanent like a tubal.  On the other hand, it is your body and I support you 100% if that is what you want to do.  It's not easy either way.  I believe deep down you know what is best for you.