Shutting off the plumbing.... *sigh*

Hi Ladies,

Just a quick note to let you know I am going in tomorrow (thurs) for a D&C and a tubaligation... Ever since Zander was born, I'm not having periods normally any longer.... and I just don't feel good without things working like they should be...

I'm just hoping that I am doing the right thing here and won't regret it later... I love Zander & love being a mommy... But I wonder sometimes what it would be like to do this again... But also wonder how healthy my next baby would be too... Would I get lucky again? Or would my baby have problems??.... I know I am babbling now but just feel like I need to hear something from others on the outside... Everyone around me is supportive of my decision to have the tubal done (except my BFF cuz she thinks I will want another baby once Zander hits 2).... I just don't know...

I'm happy with just having Zander, but don't know how I am going to feel later down the road... My b/f & I were talking the other night and he said "You know that if you want another baby later, we can always adopt...because there are a lot of children out there who need someone to love them".... I have to think of financial issues too when it comes to kiddos and right now I am not in the position to take care of more than one child... I guess I am just needing some support and words of encouragement or you can tell me I'm nuts too *lol*

Anyhow just wanted to say what's on my mind & in my heart... and let my friends on here know I'm gonna be outta here for a few days more than likely... Not gonna be much need for me to be here once I have this done (although I can offer new mommies support & advice)... But no more babies for me after Thursday....

It's such a hard decision.  My heart goes out to you.

Hugs,
Angie

Thanks Angie... I think I am doing the right thing now... I've been doing a lot of thinking today and I like my life the way it is, with just my son...

Chelle,

I will be thinking of you and praying that everything goes well with a smooth recovery.

No matter what choices you make, there will always be those that disagree or express their opinion. What matters is that the choice works for YOU.

Sending you peace and hugs!

Thanks Jo! I will update once I am feeling up to it... Also added you on FB tonight so we can keep in touch there in case I'm not around here as much...

I've done a lot of thinking & crying today but am sure now that I am doing the right thing for me... I love my life the way things are... Zander is such a joy!! I love being his mommy....

Your B/F is right!  Adoption is wonderful!!  :-)  My first is and we wanted to do it again - then I found out I was pregnant with Kellen, oops! 
I had a hard time with this decision - tubal ligation - and now I'm pregnant with twins.  I thought it was so permanent and had a hard time with it...now, however, I'm closing down the factory!  lol.

Good luck to you!!
Sandy

Thanks for responding Sandy... Yes this is a very hard decision but with all the risks, my age, finances all taken into consideration it's what is right for me.... I have done a tremendous amount of thinking today and if I feel the need to have another baby in my life, I will just work on adoption........

Congrats on your twins!! Wow you are going to be super busy!!

Chelle, I can sympathize with you a good bit. I know what you're feeling because I was feeling the same thing about my tubal. Here's my story... I was married and had a 4 year old son. I got pregnant with my daughter in February (knowing there were alot of issues going on at the homefront), so my daughter was quite a surprise. Things continued to get worse and I filed for divorce in August from my husband. I knew with me going through a divorce with one child and one on the way, I just knew that 2 was my limit because I knew I would be a single mom with no help from my husband, so I decided early on to have a tubal. I couldn't take the chance of getting pregnant again with already having 2 kids to take care of. My ex eventually terminated his parental rights and here I am. I love my kids to death and I believe they are being taken care of no matter what. I would love more kids, but being single kind of puts a damper on things. I'm like you though, there is always adoption or having it reversed later on down the road if I meet someone that I will spend the rest of my life with. The tubal was my decision but felt like 2 was plenty and I feel complete. We are a family just the 3 of us.

You have to do what you think is the right thing to do. Of course, its up to you and you have to do what you feel in your heart. Sounds like you have a very supportive BF and that is always a plus. Adoption will always be an option, but then that takes money too. It won't be the end of the world if you do have a tubal... and there will always be other options. If you health is at stake, then by all means do the tubal.

No matter what you decide, you'll always have our support 100%. And if you do have it, doesn't necessarily mean, you have to leave the board. I had a tubal and have 2 kids, but enjoy coming here to get updates especially from the ones that are around the age of my daughter. I guess I like to compare to make sure my daughter is up to par with everyone else... lol. I know that sounds silly and probably wrong of me to compare, but oh well... lol.

Hang in there and remember you have our support no matter what.  :)

Thank you sweetie! Your words meant a lot to me.... I am in a similar situation with my son's DONOR and am hoping he will terminate his parental rights as well... Child support is involved now and we just had to go thru some DNA testing and results are due in 3 weeks or so... Once that is proven, then I want it over with... I want him to terminate all legal rights to Zander and I will make the child support go away... I hope it works out that way anyhow... He hasn't shown he's cared as of yet so he needs to get out of my life & Zander's too permanently!!!!

But I have thought about this for a long time (and even more in depth today) and this is the right decision for me... I'm still gonna be around the board to help out the new mommies and support those who are expecting as well... Just maybe not as much....

Chelle, you are quite welcome. I know you'll make the right decision for you and your BF and especially Zander. I don't know about you and your Donor, but I have been through hell and back with my ex. I'm so tired of fighting him... It gets to me emotionally and financially! He hasn't talked to or seen the kiddos since January 31st. And child support... HA!  That is a joke. He is so far behind, it's not even funny. I can't wait for our next court date because they don't play in MS and will throw his stupid butt in a jail cell. Kind of defeats the purpose of making him pay child support, but I don't care. We are all better off without him.

Well, I'm gonna shudup now and get off my soap box. I could on and on and on about the stupid crap, but I spare you the story. :)  Anyway Girl, I hope everything goes well tomorrow. Keep us posted and if you need to talk, just message me.


Karine