Another Trip to the Pediatrician

I know kids get sick and this too shall pass, but my heart just breaks for Everett. He has a double ear infection at just 5 weeks old!

Prepare, I need to rant...
I never would have guessed Everett was so sick. He slept 10 hours Wednesday night, which totally freaked me out but he was good natured when he woke. Then he was somewhat lethargic and slept a lot yesterday with a low grade fever. The ped said to just monitor him and call if the fever got worse. No fever today but the TTN is really bad-lots of panting. But he didn't cry more than usual and didn't seem irritated. So I decided to bring him to the drs.


I just gave him his 1st dose of amoxicillan and I don't know why but I feel sick and guilty about the whole thing. I've been through this with Ethan (8 years ago), but he was 4 months old when he had his first EI with tubes finally put in @ 2 years old.


So WTF is wrong with me that I don't have a thicker skin this time around?! He doesn't have a terminal disease or unexplained illness, so logically I know I should let it go. But between the TTN, reflux, colic and this, I feel heartbroken and keep crying over it - how stupid! I somehow feel like it's my fault and I find myself thoroughly frustrated with the older two when they keep coughing without covering their mouths or wiping their noses on their hands or sleeves for what feels like the 100th time! Ethan, Emma and Everett keep passing this cold around despite my best efforts.

To top it off, the older 2 have been holy terrors the last few days, the worst of it is today. DH has been putting in 17 hour days, so we haven't seen him. I'm sure that is some of the behavioral issues with the kids, but aargh!!!

Thanks for letting me rant and don't feel you need to respond. Just had to get it off my chest, ya know?!

Hugs and hoping everyone is having a great Friday!

I'm so sorry that your little man is so sick! I think we tend to beat ourselves up as moms because we think we should know it all and be supermom 150% of the time for our kids. It must be so hard to have all that going on in such a little guy and you want to make it better... now.... Try not to fret too much, you DID take him in, and you did know something was amiss. Hopefully DH can come home and give you a little break for yourself so that you can recharge to give back what you want to to the kids this weekend. I know how hard that can be, but you need to do it before you get yourself sick! Take care and here's a big cyber hug! **HUG** -Donna

Thanks Donna! You are so right about trying to be super mom. I appreciate your voice of reason and did manage to get a little break to recharge.

Hugs,

Oh Jo..........

That evil witch of guilt that haunts us mommies!!!! It's cruel, it's way too common and it's FAKE!

Don't feel guilty. I know, I know. Easier said than done. But you are caring for him. That's all you can do. You not are inflicting anything on him.

I feel for you. And hate that the little guy is having so many little issues. I surely hope the ear infections go away quickly.

Big Hugs to you!

Yup, guilt is a useless emotion, but there despite it all. Everett is a bit better today, so I'm hoping he is on the way to better health. My PPD is also improving, which makes everything more clear and manageable.

Thanks for understanding!

Thick skin is never going to happen when it comes to our children because they are and forever will be our babies.   Totally not your fault.  

Some kids just get the raw end of the deal and repeatedly get sick.  It's no ones fault it just happens.  : (   I hope the little guy feels better soon.  

Thanks Julie! In reality, thick skin would probably make me less caring and a harsh mom, so I should be thankful that I feel my kids' pain. I need one of those pills you sent me months ago....Fukitol

Hugs,

I'm replying just to let you know I been there. When Nylah was 3 days old she started crying for hours at a time in the evening, being a first time mom I didnt know what the heck to do. I thought I was the worst mom and felt terribly guilty ANYTIME she had anything, eczema, bad diaper and body rash before we found out she was allergic to milk formula, colic. I felt so terrible I cried most of her first 8 weeks of life and sporadically thereafter. My husband has also been out to sea for most of her life already. At this point she is 14 months old and now I am crying because I feel guilty and terrible that I work and she goes to daycare. I feel like I should be the one home taking care of her. Nothing is wrong with you, your lil man just has a few issues - and dealing with PPD and trying to regulate meds while trying to deal with his issues to is overwhelming.

You'll be in my happy thoughts today!

Thanks so much for sharing what you've been through - it really helps me gain perspective. Everett is feeling a bit better today, and my combo of meds seems to be kicking in, so I'm in a much better place now!

I can only imagine how much more challenging everything is when your husband isn't there to help. I'm so sorry! Do you have help lined up for when the baby arrives?

Hugs,

Yes, my husband SHOULD be home beginning of August...but who knows with NAVY. I can only hope so.

What combo did they give you for meds? JW because I am already getting lined up to start PPD medication after the birth because I am prone to depression and anxiety, just know what kind yet. I worry about the future when it has no basis in reality at this moment.

Your input is appreciated!