Lately...

Every morning when I drop my daughter off I feel bad and start to tear up. I mean she is very happy, she dosen't usually cry when I leave but I just feel like a bad mom because I am working full time and someone else watches her all day. I felt like this periodically over the past year but now it's like with the pregnancy hormones I have anxiety and am contemplating staying at home with my two girls after she is born. Then I get to thinking that I am not SAHM type and will probably lose my mind. Are there any SAHM who did work full time before children and now stay home? How was the transition, are you lonely, do you miss adult interaction, etc? Any words of advice are appreciated. There are a million thoughts in my head like maybe I should stay home with them and do online classes, or work part time. Then I think well maybe the daycare interaction is good for them with the other kids. She is probably just fine and has a fun time. Thanks for reading.

I have NEVER been the SAHM type either. I always enjoyed work. I liked "doing" something outside the home....etc.

However........NOW......I want to stay home. For some reason, I feel differently now. Of course, now, I CAN"T afford to stay home. but if we could financially do it, I would definately stay home and just go to classes. Then as the little ones reach school age, I would be done school and ready to work again.

Ok, so I went off on my own tangent there. LOL But I know how you feel. It is hard. If you can afford it, and want to, maybe you should give it a try.

I can afford it BUT if I leave my job then I won't get another like it. I am a Social Worker but I dont have a degree (just knew the right people at the right time) LOL so I know I wouldn't get it again. But Social Work isn't even what I want to do. I want to do Medical Coding and Billing.

Also I will be paying $300 per week for daycare.*SIGH*

I worked full time before my son, and not quite full time after I had my son for about 1 year.  I quit working and didn't think I would enjoy it at all, it took awhile before I even liked it alittle bit.  But now I wouldn't change it for anything.  I do still work 1 day a week delivering alittle newspaper, but it is more for fun money and to get out of the house for a few hours. 

I have more friends now than I did when I worked and I enjoy the people I do chose to hang around with.  I didn't really like my coworkers very much, some of them were ok, but not friends that I would hang around with. 

I am involved in our church quite abit, MOPS, play groups with other mom's, library book clubs for my son, etc...  And now that summer is here we have T ball and VBS so we keep really busy. 

I love being able to be at any and all of the school and sports things, I don't have to worry about work schedules.  My husband has a job with funky hours sometimes and if he has to work late it is up to me to change my schedule, and that was getting very stressful.  If my son is sick it isn't a big deal.  I can help my husband more and do more things around the house.  I don't think I could really afford to go back to work with 2 kids in daycare, around here it would be  $60 a day and with the economy I don't think I would make much more than that with my degree's. 

But it is a personal choice and I am sure that there are just as many women who do work full time that are just as happy as a SAHM is.  I am sure that your daughter is going to be happy either way and she will adjust to which ever you chose.  Sorry I wrote a book!
Chrissy 

HIJACK!   Chrissy I see that you wrote that you attend a MOPS group.   Can you tell me a little about it.  I've never even been to one but our pastor wants me to help get one up and running in the new little church we have going.   I know I can read online and have done so....am also going to try to go to a group in our area to check it out but thought I'd get someone else's view as well.   I do work full time days so I'm not sure how I can make it work but I told him I'd check into it at least.

Hi Michelle,
I love it, I just started going this last fall.  It is a really great group of women who all have the same faith in the Lord that I do and our group mom is the pastor's wife of the church that it is held in.  It is not the same religion that we belong to but I know that I can talk to her and feel comfortable with her. 
We have our meetings on the 1st and 3rd Tues of the month, it is around 9 am and we all take turns bringing a breakfast dish.  The kids all have daycare downstairs and are split up depending on their age.  We usually do a prayer time and then eat, then we have guest speakers and sometimes a craft project.  It is just so nice to get out with other women, of all different walks of life and careers and know that the kids are safe and we can just relax and visit. 
We also do playdate times at parks or other fun places when MOPS isn't going on, like the summer breaks, etc...
Check into it, it is really fun and special, I think.  Let me know if you have any other questions, I haven't been involved enough to know the workings of alot of the stuff but can find out answers to your question if I don't know. 
Chrissy

I worked FT until my son was 4 and I had my daughter. I'm battling a migraine right now but will BBL to post my experience. Hang in there sweetie!

Ok, meds are starting to kick in.  My son, Ethan, went to daycare starting at 3 months old.  I worked full-time in a great job that allowed me to travel internationally.  I was fine for awhile, but then the guilt of leaving him at daycare would hit me in waves and I found traveling for weeks at a time left me missing him more than I ever though possible.  I was fortunate to be able to change jobs within the company, and worked at home 3 days/week and in the office 2.  I took online classes to keep my mind challenged.  It was the best of both worlds, but I found myself working late hours at home and the balance was very hard for me.  My son was very sick the first 2 years of his life and I had to miss a lot of work as well as time when he was hospitalized.  In the end, I changed to a lower-stress job in hopes that I could better manage everything (my DH wasn't able to take any time off to help with sick visits, etc).    Fast forward a few years and I became pregnant with my daughter. The thought of the money I would be spending on daycare was insane.  In my case, I was literally working just to pay daycare.  DH and I sat down and went through our finances and made the decision that I would stay at home.  DH started his own business in addition to the full-time job he has, and that has made it financially possible for us. 

I won't lie, the transition was very hard for me in the beginning.  We live in a rural state and the social opportunities just aren't always there.  I also live next door to my in-laws and I struggled with feeling like I was under a magnifying glass.  I missed the challenge of work outside of the home (mentally) and running my DH's business was NOT what I ever wanted to do.  However, I found other SAHM's and through school, have made some great friends and social contacts.  It took about 3-4 months before I really settled into a routine and feeling like it was "natural".   Now I welcome the challenge of managing our home business in addition to being home with our 3 kids.  It is the hardest job I've ever done, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Whatever you decide, there is no wrong or right answer.  I can see how daycare benefited my son in his social abilities and life-long friendships.  But I can see how being home with my daughter has benefited her health and the bonding I've had with her.  Do what works best for you and your family and know that either way, your children are loved and cared for.

Hugs,

Thank you for taking the time to write seeing as you have a migraine - I usually have one daily so I know what you mean!

My story is a little different but, I wanted to chime in. 

I got married right after high school at the age of 18.  2 weeks after getting married I found out I was pregnat.  My DH is 9 years older than me and really stressed his thoughts on me being a SAHM.  I wanted to go to college and get my career going.  I sided with him and didn't work or go to college.  After I had Savannah I was so glad that I had made the choice to stay home with her!!!

When Savannah was about 2 1/2 years old I was feeling a void of self worth in my life.  I felt I was isolated from the public, adults, and everyday life.  Sure, I had plenty of SAHM friends and Savannah was in Mother's Day Out 2x a week.  However, I just felt blah with being at home. 

So I decided to go back to school.  At first DH was not to hip on the idea because he was the bread winner and had always been.  We lived our life around his income and were not really in the need for me to bring in any money.  I felt I needed to go to school and do something for me.  After talking it over he felt it would be good for me and Savannah.  I took night classes when my DH could be home with Savannah.  I then became a Dental Assistant.  I found a job at a great dental office here in the town we live in.  It wasn't long and I had Savannah with a private sitter and I was working 8-5 T-F and very few select Saturdays.  The pay was nice to have and very different since I'd never worked before I my life. 

Every single day that I worked I would puke right before walking out the door.  Savannah would cry and scream every morning when I dropped her off at the sitter.  I couldn't focus at work.  I would come home everyday with a migrane from hell.  It just wasn't good.  A lot of other things about working out of the home took a toll on me and after 3 months of working I turned my scrubs in!  I just couldn't handle it.

That was almost 4 years ago.  I haven't work since!  I haven't missed it nore do I care to work again.  Being a SAHM it not for everyone.  Some can handle it and some cannot.  I however couldn't handle working out of the home.  Poopy diapers, slobber, toys in the floor, naps, screaming and huggs n kisses all day I what I do best!  Working with the public or out of the home isn't what I thought I could do.  I hated it.  I love my job as a mommy.  I have days that I want to pull my hair out but that's part of being a parent period.  I love the fact that I've been able to witness 1st hand every milestone my kids have accomplished.  From birth till now.....time is precious and I'm so glad I'm able to be at home.  If I had to work, I would but I hope I never do.

I might have a different opinion if I'd always worked and never stayed at home.  I don't know?  All you can do is what you feel in your heart and what you think it best for you and you're family.  Whatever that may be.....I wish you the best of luck!

Ash :)