Friday Rants & raves

I don't care if I'm the lone voice on this one--the easel would irritate me to no end.  It shows he wasn't even thinking about what you are currently interested in.  On the other hand, I do believe we have to give most men very strong hints about what we do want for gifts.  It doesn't usually come naturally to them.  And then sometimes when we tell them what we want (like a backrub) they are selfish and won't give it.  I usually love men but I'm a little anti-men today, no actually all week long, and that is my rant.  I mean, think back to when you were a kid.  When I was a kid, I never knew what to give my parents for a holiday/birthday. I usually got my mom a coffee cup because she drank coffee.  I didn't clue in until I was older that she had five million coffee cups and did not need another.  She always graciously thanked me for them, but now I wish I had been able to step out of my self-centered child mind, and really consider my mom's vast world, not just one beverage that she liked.  Kids are self-centered like that and sometimes I think men are stuck in that mentality where they can't really open their minds to consider our feelings, our likes, etc.  I've had times where I've taken a picture of something in a store with my cell phone, sent it to hubby, and said, "I want this for Mother's Day."  Did I get it?  Guess.  NOPE.  And I actually like the idea of the preggo colony.  Though I think there might be a lot of bickering and all out bloodshed.  I think we'd have to pay men to come in and massage us.  I'm not pregnant now, but someday maybe.
My rave is that I am SO GLAD I chose to be a stay at home mom and found a way to make it work.  I wouldn't trade this time with Sophie for anything.  She is the most wonderful baby in the world.  

I am really glad to see this because I have a major rant today.

My husband never wants to do anything that requires "going out" - we are both homebodies but he takes it too far. We recently lost some friends over this in fact.

Now I am out of town and he has Friday night plans with his coworkers? Do his coworkers normally invite him out and he says no? Or do they just invite him out because his wife is away (because they don't like me)? I just really want to understand why we can't ever do anything when I'm around. I'm always trying to encourage him to find a golf buddy or something but no. So this week he goes golfing!!!???!!!

Is it me? Am I keeping him from having friends? I don't know why but my feelings are hurt by this. I want a social life and I don't have one in many ways due to him, but I leave and things change? I'm not jealous that he's hanging out with people, I want more of that, I'm just sad that I'm not included. I used to assume it was because I was so fat, either his friends didn't want to hang out with me or he was ashamed to have them hang out with me. Now I am not so fat but it hasn't changed so I feel like its me.

I've been kind of an emotional wreck for the past 24hrs. This isn't helping. In fact now I'm crying, and I feel stupid for crying. Ugh.

Hugs to you, Jenny! I don't know your situation, but is it possible that your DH is insecure? After WLS and losing weight, I gained self-confidence whereas my DH started losing his. The better I felt, the more I wanted to be out and active. Our relationship changed but we worked through it when DH was able to admit that he felt crappy about himself. I'm probably way off on this one, but just guessing it has everything to do with HIM and very little, if anything, to do with you.
Hopefully you can talk about it when you're back home.

Hugs,

Yes Jo, thanks. You are very perceptive and he is indeed very insecure. We've struggled with that in the past in terms of a large difference in education and now with my weight loss (and his sort of simultaneous moderate weight gain). Thank you for giving me that perspective. It is still hard not to have hurt feelings about it because I'm so frustrated with our lack of social life, but it does give me something to think about. At least I'm not drowning my sorrows in a carton of cookies tonight. I went to the hotel gym and walked off some angst and now I am treating myself to a steak salad and a glass of wine room service. I've never in my life ordered room service but I felt like being a little spoiled.

I am also down because my temp dropped today. AF is about to start

LOL... I'll take your birthday gift... but you can't paint when you are pregnant... hello fumes and toxic chemicals and such lol...  you need to do this... go get a massage some place special tomorrow... and smack the hubs for me lol...

And if you want to come down tomorrow afternoon to shop let me know lol...

four words....

Non-toxic acrylic paint.

or is that 3? lol I am painting up a storm, but then again, I don't think I could not.

They are still toxic when you are pregnant because of the chemicals that are used in them to make the colors...they are absored through your skin... and most of them have a fume to them... when I asked my OB and Asthma doc about them... they told me they were worse for you than taking a class C drug... so my stuff has been packed up since I found out I was pregnant with Lorelei... so that is about 3.5 years lol... and painting with rubber gloves on suck!

wow - I didn't realize that!! OK so water colors anyone? lol

My Ob said I was fine unless I chugged a bottle. So I guess it really all depends on what you believe. It's like the impass that some OBs say no hair/nails while others say it's ok later... etc.

She did say not to paint in an enclosed space and if I ever got a headache from it to stop... so no headache...

I definately cannot paint with gloves on.

apart of my art major in college we were taught about the dangers of all the different chemicals we were using everything from the photo chemicals to the paints to the charcoal we used to draw with... there really isn't anything safe art wise except pencils... hehehe...

My OB isn't one of those crazies that say no to all kinds of fish etc... so when he said that using the various art mediums were considered to be a danger like class C drugs I listened... esp after what I learned in college...since I"m not making my living at this point painting etc, I can skip the painting... hehehe... plus Lorelei likes to paint way too much and I'm sooo not letting her get into some of my paints where the tube was $50 lol...

but the reason you don't dye your hair while pregnant is because the hormones in our systems will make the dye react in ways that can cause the color not to come out the right color... I had a friend who is a blond just doing lighter lightlights and they came out red when she was pregnant lol...