L&D question

OK so I know that I have a TON of time before I have to worry about this but I have a question about when it comes time to deliver.

Did you feel that a second support person in the room with you while you were laboring made things better/worse? In a few of the books that I am reading they reccomend having a "tag team" of people during your delivery? Like maybe hubby and Mom? Maybe not necessarily when you are pushing, maybe that should just be hubby but haivng someone else there during the earlier stages of labor?

If it isn't obvious I am a bit nervous about this part of this whole baby thing. I KNOW I can do it - women have been doing it since the beginning of time, but how will I handle it?

Thanks ladies!

Liz

Hey Liz!

I have decided on having my Husband and my Mom in there. My husband cause it took two to tango and my Mom cause she has been there for 4 of her own deliveries and numerous others and knows the routine. I plan on natural as natural can be. If it were legal I would be having my baby at home but since in Alabama it is very against the law (so stinks!!) I will be in the hospital. I bought the video documentary "The Business of Being Born" and got it this weekend. I reccomend every pregnant woman watch it!!! It is extremely enlightening!

Sorry to write a book (I could write more)

HTH
~Flora

Thanks Flora! I will check out the video.

That stinks that Alabama has such a law!

I so agree, Flora, about the documentary, "The Business of Being Born."  SO agree.  I actually watched that in early pregnancy and found it very enlightening.  I still ended up with several interventions and a c-section, but that movie was very fascinating and I agree with it very much.

Well, I have to say this.  I wanted no one in there with me.  Frankly, I would have had my ex husband leave too - especially since he was annoying me to no end each time LOL.

I knew my mother would annoy me.....and she was upset I didn't have her, but I was glad in the end that I didn't.

This time, I don't know for sure. 

For you I think you need to consider what will help YOU.  No one size fits all with this, trust me.  And the advice I give to anyone who asks - you will not get a medal for doing things any particular way.  Everyone has an opinion about what is best.  You have to do what feels right for you - don't for one minute let other people dictate what you need or want - they won't be the ones in labor, right?.

Sharon

Thanks Sharon! I have already decided that I am going to get an epidural. I can handle the pain but I tend to get anxious when I am in pain and know that the meds will make for a less stressful delivery for us both.

Thanks for the great info! I'll have to talk it over with hubby too and see if he wants some back-up. My Mom has been with me through all of my surgeries and we are very close. She has always been the one to take care of me through it all.

Thanks!

Well...it's kind of hard for me to answer that because I didn't have a choice...My family is in Oregon, I moved to New York where I met and married my DH...and his family is in Egypt...so it was just me and him.  That said...I'm not the type that I want a lot of people around me where I'm on display for the whole world to see...even if it is for the birth of a baby.  I was perfectly fine w/it being just my DH.  He only left one time to go smoke...and was gone about 10 minutes and later told me he smoked half a dozen cigarettes in that time.  There was someone else there smoking who saw him smoking that quickly and just asked him if it was his first baby...because he knew for him to be smoking like that, he had to be there for a baby.  Mind you...he normally smoked about two packs a week (I've since made him quit)...so to smoke almsot half a pack in 10 minutes was a lot for him.

The day before my son was born, my DH and I had gone for a very long walk in Manhattan, basically walking from one end of it to the other.  By the time we got home and ate dinner, I was exhausted.  I went to bed around 11 p.m., and I woke up every half hour on the half hour to pee...and barely did anything.  I finally realized around 6-7 a.m. that it wasn't needing to pee but actually it was contractions.  I went to the dr around 11 a.m., he told me to go walk and eat and drink...and they finally admitted me to the hospital around 5:30 p.m.  By that point I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, so between contractions, that's what I'd try to do.  Having another person in there besides my DH when all I wanted to do was sleep would have just worn me out more.

I have been present w/a friend of mine for the birth of two of her children...and she had an entire entourage there...me, her mother, her brother, her sister-in-law, her niece, my mother...and anyone else who wanted to join in.  It was a revolving door of people in and out...and she was comfortable and fine w/that. 

I think you need to see what you and your husband are comfortable with and go with that.  Don't worry about it or try to schedule every minute of your birth, because you never know what changes are going to come along - whether the delivery happens on schedule, if you have to have a c-section for whatever reason, whatever.  If your mother would actually bring you comfort having her there, maybe have her on standby in the waiting room and if you need her there she can come in, or if your DH needs a break, she'll be there...then if you want her there during the actual pushing and delivery, you can decide that.  My mother in the delivery room with me?  Not a good thing during delivery.

Talk it over w/your DH and see what his feelings are...and if he feels he'd need a second person there to provide back up and support for him.

I only wanted my husband.  My mom cried to be there so I was going to let her.  she was still on her way to the hospital when I actually gave birth so it was perfect for me.  I didn't have to hurt her feelings and I had the only person I needed.

you'll have more than one nurse assisting as well.  I had at least 2.

Kaida was a csection so david was the only extra allowed.

I will only have david for this one...no matter which mode of delivery we go with.

My mom is begging me to have her in the delivery room with me and SO. I haven't completely made up my mind - but I'm starting to think that since I'm almost 27 and still lay my head on my mom's chest when I really don't feel good (and when she's there of coarse) - I might just need her - SO isn't always too good at the making me feel better when I'm in pain (although he might be different in this situation.) However, I did think that my mom would be a good person to take pictures - (not of the birth but) of Daddy cutting the UC, first picture with Mommy, etc.

So she may get her wish.
(Not to mention I can always kick her out if she gets on my nerves.)

When I took my birthing class is really the first time I really thought in depth about this subject.  I knew I wanted DH there, but was worried about him.  He has a really bad temper - so god forbid if they didn't do something they said they would or I was upset.  But I kinda wanted my mother there.  I am a private person so having even my husband, the nurse, the Dr's looking down there makes my nerves crazy.  (Insane I know!).  But that being said...in my heart I always reasoned that I probably wouldn't have to worry I'd have c-section...odd because I was never told I had any risks, etc.  After 17 hours of labor and baby facing the wrong direction- I did indeed end up with a c-section.  Only DH could be there.  But the 17 hours, I ended up with husband, mother, step father, sister all in my room.  Thank god it was a big space.  But anytime they checked me or did any private stuff everyone stepped out.  So I was cool with the company, it was a distraction to the pain.  Our L&D has DVD players too, so I had a movie and was ready to try to relax if I was bored. I had magazines, Ipod, etc- all distractions that were on hand if I needed them. LOL.  I believe most hospitals limit the number of people in the room (usually 2 support people).  You can definately do it...and will..I tried not to worry until the end when I knew it was coming...cause I am a worrier, my focus was on each day.  Enjoy your pregnancy and you'll get it all ironed out.  Some women even go with a birth plan written out. (My sister typed her's and took it to L&D) Mine would have been simple...EPIDURAL and healthy baby..thank you.