Random thoughts...

As i sit here watching my baby sleep i have had some time to think of things and come to the realization of quite a few things... here is the list... feel free to add your own....

1. i KNEW i would like being a mommy.... however.. what i didnt know what how much i would actually LOVE being a mommy

2. i have never had so many emotions run through my body in 5 seconds...

3. im not a crier by any means... as a matter of fact as mean as it sounds it annoys me to no end when people cry.. but i love hearing him cry for me in the morning

4. i never knew i would/could worry so much

5. i hated being preggo...

6. i felt ripped off when he came 5 weeks early and i couldnt feel that precious kick to my bladder anymore

7. his WHOLE life depends on how i raise him

8. i never thought i would be a 23 yoa single mom

9. i love being a single mom

10. i gave up a night of line dancing to lay on the bed and watch elmo for the 700th time just to hear a giggle

11. this kid can poop more then me

12. i feel guilty going to work everyday

13. i love him more then life its self

14. i would take a bullet for him

15. i wish i could protect him from all the danger... but at the same time let him grow his own wings and learn how to live correctly

16. i hope all his dreams come true.. execpt the bad monster ones he will have

17. some days i dont know how i can juggle one more thing... but take a deep breath and dive in there and figure it out

18. i hope  he becomes the man his father isnt

19. his smile makes my heart melt

20. i never knew how much i could love someone so much in just 5 short seconds after i got that positive preggo test in march 2008,, how much joy he would bring into my life and how close he would bring my brothers and i together... we were close before... but now... we are a team... they are such wonderful male role models for him and i hope he is just like them when he gets to be a teenager

Yep that's mother-hood in a nutshell!  It gets harder and the love grows stronger as they age.  I thought I would die the day Savannah started kindergarten!  I can honestly say, mother-hood is the most rewarding yet hardest job I will ever have but, I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING!

Ash :)

What a sweet post.  :o)  I totally agree with what you have said.  Dylan has been talking more  and the other day I said 'I love you Dylan'  (which I say ALL day long) and he said 'Love Mommy'.  I teared up, it was so sweet that he said that he loves me without my hubby prompting him. 

Aww Lex, that's beautiful! I hope you write this list down and give it to Jayson when he's older. I echo your sentiments and thank God daily for the gift of my children. I wouldn't change a single part of this journey (except, is it wrong to pray for more sleep? LOL).

Thank you for sharing this and congrats on being the sweet and loving mom that you are!

Hugs,

Hey Lexa,   I couldn't agree more......especially with #1, #2, #5, #13, #15, and #20.  I remember the day I found out---March 19, 2008 at about 4:15am....when I got up to pee in the early morning and thought I'd pee on a stick just in case...then my life changed.

I love this, its so true, they chane everything we are dont they?

Lex, do you live in Weston that is near hollywood? My gf lives in Pembroke, i was just there a couple of weeks ago and may be back soon.
She says weston all of the time but I assumed it was westin and just put it together that this may be the same thing~ duh.

yup... same thing.. thats where i live :) next time ya come down.. we will have to get together

What a great post!! Thank you for getting this out there. I think too you should put all this down and give it to him later. When he gets to the teenage years he will need to see some of these things. My 15 year old thinks strange things and I think some of these things would help kids understand how we feel and what goes on in our minds. Great post!! Thanks!!!

That is such a heartwarming post.

Thank you!