With all due respect ladies...

Hey Julie....

I am not her to argue either....just here to try to understand more....I may be totally in the dark so sorry...I wrote to Ann last night and have not heard back but I understand why.....

Here are my questions maybe you can help me understand.....

- What does she want toned down? I see and hear about the posts about belly pics, etc. is that what she is alluding to? IMHO, just read over posts you don't want to read and don't have time to read. Afterall, it is a message board where people should feel comfortable to come and write about their own feelings and ask for advice. If we don't want to read it, don't have time, don't have advice or support to give, then move on past the post. Was it just too many posts? There are MANY first time mothers here with questions. Also, several people at once are all pregnant and due around the same time....we should not try to take away their joy....
- What support is she not getting here? It seems as though people love her....the many pee stick posts (which I loved) were visited and supported often. The posts she posted last week about the loss were also visited and supported often.
- I am concerned what people are defining this board to be. Isn't TTC a part of getting to Pregnancy after WLS. Also, for those of us not actively TTC and are pregnant should we leave? I have met and been given TONS of advice from women who struggle with some of the same health issues I have and have been able to offer tons of support and advice. I am now paranoid that my recent posts (including an update about Nathan being 6 months old and offering to put together a GA meet up) may be inappropriate since it is not about pregancy.

Again, not to be uncompassionate but everyone has the freedom to write and read what they want. Of course we as humans should be sensitive but afterall this is a board where EVERYONE should feel welcome. I am so sorry this has upset so many people. We should not let this kind of descension come between what I have come to know as a warm and friendly and safe environment (obviously cautiously given the incident 6 months or so ago).

Help me understand....

I agree, people should be able to write whatever they want.   This is an open forum.  

I also wish I could help you understand, but that will have to come from Ann because I'm not in her head.   I don't know what she's thinking or feeling at this moment.    : (    


This whole thing is ridiculous because Ann has always been supportive towards others.   I suppose that the 4 or 5 separate belly pic posts was just too much for her.  Especially since that's how far along she would be at this very moment if not for the miscarriage.  

Just as those shouldn't have to tone done their excitement, she shouldn't have to tone down her misery.   It's not going to last forever, it is what it is right now.   Like I said, the girl is going through a miscarriage as we speak.  

Don't feel bad about posting pics of Nate.  The kid is massive cuteness. 

ALright I am late coming to this game and Ann I am sorry that this is hard for you. You have been a wonderful help with all my questions and I appreciate that even though I know that it had to be hard for you.

I say get a petition going - get signatures and names and put mine on there ELIZABETH RADLBECK [email protected] and my OH name is Liz R. fight for the TTC board.

I would apologize for posting a 6 week pic of myself but I shouldn't have to - Kelly and I are due within days and I was doing a comparison, I am not claiming to show, I am not complaining about symptoms, but if I were, this is the palce to do it - I don't have anywhere else to go where people understand EXACTLY what I am going through. That's why I love coming here and to the PA board as often as I do.

I cried when I read your happy post and I cried even harder when I read your miscarriage post - I can't even imagine what you are going through and want to support you as much as a complete stranger can.

All my best and I hope that we can all find a happy medium. There was a big burst of BFP in the last month, many of us first timers and the knowledge, support, and freedom to ask those "off the wall" questions is what makes these boards so special.

I hope that the hole isn't your path of choice, your input is so appreciated!

Liz

Yeah...that got blown a little out of proportion.  All I was trying to nicely put is that it is a bit overwhelming when some of us come onto the board for the first time in the day and large number of new posts are people posting bellies at VERY early in their pregnancy.

I said I understand the excitement -- I do.  You guys should all be excited.  I was asking nicely if maybe we can just stick them all in one thread from now on.  I never said stop doing any of it...

But, it is has been made apparent over and over again that this is a post op pregnancy board and since it does not have TTC anywhere in the title, consideration for those doing that is hard to come by sometimes.  That is all I was asking...consideration and moderation.  Period.  I knew people would take it wrong.  I wasn't calling anyone one out -- it was the totallity of the situation that was a bit overwhelming.

FYI...I have been a very supportive person on this board for years.  Perhaps that is unwanted.

So, don't leave Kelly.  It is I who is apparently the evil ***** because I would prefer I see only one belly shot thread instead of 7.

Ann, I have been on this board a long while...while TTC, after getting pregnant with my daughter, and still lurk here because I made great friends. I have seen you through all of your losses even if I don't post much anymore. I have shared your happiness with getting your BFPs, and prayed for your healing after your losses. However, I do think this post was out of line on your part. Yes, you are and always have been very supportive of the ladies here...but honestly, you cannot fairly ask anyone to tone down their excitement over their pregnancies, that is not fair. I realize you are hurting right now, so perhaps you should take a break from the board. I don't think anyone truly thinks badly of you, they are likely just upset because you ARE raining on their parades.

See, that is where it is being misinterpreted.  I never asked anyone to tone down their excitement.  As I have said twice now...I understand and they should be excited.  I only asked that the frequency of some of the posts get toned down...or combine them together.  And, honestly yesterday's stuff didn't get me upset.  It was just that I had a horrible flash of what could come in the next 8 months if this stuff is already being posted at 6 weeks and that is why I said something.  I didn't want it to get out of hand to the point where I HATE coming to this board.

You guys may not believe this (some of you who truly know me will) -- I most likely would have posted this if I wasn't miscarrying as well for the sake of others. 

Just like the other day when Angie lost her poor baby...The condolence messages are nice, but would it kill some people to unclick their signatures?  I unclicked mine for Angie's sake.  Although it may not upset some people, having several tickers of pregnancy progress or photos in a thread about loss is really not good etiquette.  But, I refrained that day because I was afraid people wouldn't understand.

Being on Fertility Friend has really opened my eyes to what may or may not be painful to others and I try to pass it on, because people are afraid to speak up because they will be flamed.  And, that is what happened again...so now no one will speak up.

I will hand out the umbrellas so that everyone's parade will stop getting rained on.  Sorry for being honest.
 

the way this forum is set up is rather stupid imo.  if you post a thread its buried and 3 pages down in an afternoon sometimes.  having ONE thread for belly pics *unless it gets stickied at the top* isn't possible.  it will get buried in a day at best.

and I complained about morning sickness.  I"m allowed to.  I don't have to like every single bit of pregnancy.  no one has to.

I have a dear friend that has been trying to get pregnant for nearly 7 years now and she would never tell me that I can't complain or dislike parts of pregnancy just because she has been trying for so long.  I can't tell you how many times I've wished her pregnant.  I wish everyone that has issues either getting or staying pregnant didn't have those issues. I really do.  

Since I don't come here too often, and most of you don't like me, I really don't care...Ann, who the he** do you think you are comning here to rain on peoples parade? You have said it more than once, you can tell by the title of the post what is inside, and YOU CHOOSE TO CLICK IT...I am sorry, GOD knows I am sorry that you are having issues, but guess what sister, so have most of the woman on this board...Everytime you got pregnant, we saw one pee stick picture after another..Nobody complained, if anything you got prayer, after prayer, after prayer...You say YOU CAN HANDLE THINGS IN MODERATION..If Kelly, or Liz, or Sharon, or whomever else, wants to post 100 belly pix a day everyday for 9 months UP TO THEM...You don't want to see them MOVE ON SISTER....Call me a ***** send me nasty grams say what you want, but dont you DARE take the joy out of a new pregnancy for a woman..Why tone it down? TO make YOU feel better? Please....GOD knows whats in my heart, and I am sorry for you losses and I am sorry that you cant' handle the next 8 months of joy and elation that these woman have found...Maybe this isn the board for you anymore...You have 3 choices, you can ignore this, you can answer me publicly, or my email is [email protected]

Jen
(The Bit*h)

I'll go with ignore since the intention behind my post had nothing to do with taking away anyone's excitement...as I have said repeatedly.

And, I wouldn't call you a ***** or anything of the sort...it is not the type of person I am.  Unlike others...I am pretty open to people having opinions and feelings.  What you stated are your's.  Thanks for the feedback.

Its amazing who comes out of the wood work to jump down Ann's Throat...only when the topic has become negative! its a damn shame!

Good Bye!