Amaxing job opportunity...what would you do?
Samara,
This is a tough one. I believe in both being a mommy and also fulfilling yourself as a woman. If you think you can handle being without Emad and your hubby, I think you should do it. But I think it would be really, really hard to be without him.
I guess the other thing is that if you're going to work indefinitely, you should do things that will help you in the future of your career. If you're hoping to not work at some point in the future, maybe advancing your career isn't as important.
I guess I've given no advice, but I know you'll make the best decision for you.
Good luck. I can't wait to see what you decide.
DaNell
This is a tough one. I believe in both being a mommy and also fulfilling yourself as a woman. If you think you can handle being without Emad and your hubby, I think you should do it. But I think it would be really, really hard to be without him.
I guess the other thing is that if you're going to work indefinitely, you should do things that will help you in the future of your career. If you're hoping to not work at some point in the future, maybe advancing your career isn't as important.
I guess I've given no advice, but I know you'll make the best decision for you.
Good luck. I can't wait to see what you decide.
DaNell
Thanks DaNell. Any advice is good advice. I remember when I could barely take him to daycare for a day and now this. LOL
I guess my feelings were validated in that no matter how much time he spends with his caregiver at the end of it all he knows me as his Mommy and loves me so a day, a week, etc does not change that. I would be in contact via phone, webcam, and pics and I know it would be hard but I THINK I could do it. We shall see.
I say do it. Though he was older, when I was posted in Belgium, I did numerous trips for 2-4 weeks for a year and a half - I was gone half of time - and he was fine with it.
The only thing I'd tell you is to take a laptop w/a camera w/you...and if your husband has a webcam too...then you can 'see' each other - and Emad can see you when you talk to him - just to keep in touch. I also think the idea of your DH going to Morocco w/him while you're gone is a good idea...it'll give Emad more time w/your family there...and I'm SURE they wouldn't mind at all.
Download skype on both computers (if you haven't already) so you can talk for free for as long as you want!
The only thing I'd tell you is to take a laptop w/a camera w/you...and if your husband has a webcam too...then you can 'see' each other - and Emad can see you when you talk to him - just to keep in touch. I also think the idea of your DH going to Morocco w/him while you're gone is a good idea...it'll give Emad more time w/your family there...and I'm SURE they wouldn't mind at all.
Download skype on both computers (if you haven't already) so you can talk for free for as long as you want!
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
Thanks Holly! I was gonna PM you but figured you would post...cause you are awesome like that!
Nothing is set in stone but I have decisions to make if it does go through. We did have Skype but then switched to just MSN with webcam and we now have the house in Morocco set up with Vonage so they have the same area code as we do here so essentially it is like a local call, in India I would likely have to do the webcam option.
I know Emad would love to go to Morocco again and he would enjoy it more this time as he is older and he has tons of cousins and a new baby cousin on the way this summer so I am sure he would have a blast. I would of course miss him and my husband terribly but want to do this for lots of personal and professional reasons and KNOW it would be good for my family because of other opportunities. We shall see. Thanks for the advice.
Nothing is set in stone but I have decisions to make if it does go through. We did have Skype but then switched to just MSN with webcam and we now have the house in Morocco set up with Vonage so they have the same area code as we do here so essentially it is like a local call, in India I would likely have to do the webcam option.
I know Emad would love to go to Morocco again and he would enjoy it more this time as he is older and he has tons of cousins and a new baby cousin on the way this summer so I am sure he would have a blast. I would of course miss him and my husband terribly but want to do this for lots of personal and professional reasons and KNOW it would be good for my family because of other opportunities. We shall see. Thanks for the advice.
You could get another vonage thing (I don't have it so I'm not sure what it involves) and take it with you and set up vonage in your hotel in India and have a phone # in the same area code too...so then you, your DH in the States and your family in Morocco would all be on the same area code. If your lodging is paid for by your work (I assume it is), you could probably even find a 'service apartment' there w/a small kitchenette so you could cook for yourself (plus eating out for months on end gets old...quickly...like after about two weeks). This would have a double advantage for you - save you from eating boring food outside day after day - and prayerfully help you avoid 'Delhi Belly.'
Even if your work wouldn't pay for it...would your DH and Emad be able to come visit at your expense and just stay with you? I know you probably couldn't take a day off during the week to hang out...but you'd see them in the evenings, and you'd have the weekends free to be with them. When I went TDY to Abu Dhabi over Christmas several years ago, my DH and DS came down a week or so after I got there and we all left on the same night. Then when I went TDY to Cairo over Christmas a year later (I'm the easy one to send TDY over Christmas since we don't celebrate it!), they did the same thing...and my DH even found me a small three bedroom apartment to stay in rather than a hotel (admittedly the hotel was beautiful...Four Seasons...but it's still nice to have an apartment and kitchen)...then they went back and forth between Cairo and Alexandria (where my DH's family is at).
I have never been to Delhi before...but if you need some info re what it's like there, let me know and I'll look up the post report at work and tell you the important parts. I did read it a year or so ago when I was considering applying for a position there...then decided not to. My DH doesn't want to go anywhere where I have to take malaria meds because of having the one kidney. The one I have is 100% fine, but he doesn't want to 'strain' it by taking meds that would be unnecessary if I weren't in a malaria country. I do believe they recommend the meds in Delhi, but from what I've heard from people I know there, less than 30% of the expats there actually take it because it makes them feel like crap. If you were only going for three months...I'd say it's better to feel like crap for three months than get malaria. I know they have malaria drugs now that you only take once a week rather than daily & would think that would help.
Also...I don't know how true it is...or how adventurous you are going out by yourself in a foreign country...but I also read that women who go by themselves to the local open markets (ie to get fruit/veggies or whatever) are often 'groped' by the men because it's crowded in the markets and they're copping a free feel...so just be forewarned about that so you could practice your drop kicking before you went...and get yourself a few women (or even men) to go w/you to markets so you're not alone at least until you're comfortable w/the location.
Over all...I think it would be interesting. I have made my DH promise to take me there to visit at least, even if he won't consider living there. Who knows...maybe I could twist his arm to go while you were there...? It's sort of 'in the neighborhood.'
Even if your work wouldn't pay for it...would your DH and Emad be able to come visit at your expense and just stay with you? I know you probably couldn't take a day off during the week to hang out...but you'd see them in the evenings, and you'd have the weekends free to be with them. When I went TDY to Abu Dhabi over Christmas several years ago, my DH and DS came down a week or so after I got there and we all left on the same night. Then when I went TDY to Cairo over Christmas a year later (I'm the easy one to send TDY over Christmas since we don't celebrate it!), they did the same thing...and my DH even found me a small three bedroom apartment to stay in rather than a hotel (admittedly the hotel was beautiful...Four Seasons...but it's still nice to have an apartment and kitchen)...then they went back and forth between Cairo and Alexandria (where my DH's family is at).
I have never been to Delhi before...but if you need some info re what it's like there, let me know and I'll look up the post report at work and tell you the important parts. I did read it a year or so ago when I was considering applying for a position there...then decided not to. My DH doesn't want to go anywhere where I have to take malaria meds because of having the one kidney. The one I have is 100% fine, but he doesn't want to 'strain' it by taking meds that would be unnecessary if I weren't in a malaria country. I do believe they recommend the meds in Delhi, but from what I've heard from people I know there, less than 30% of the expats there actually take it because it makes them feel like crap. If you were only going for three months...I'd say it's better to feel like crap for three months than get malaria. I know they have malaria drugs now that you only take once a week rather than daily & would think that would help.
Also...I don't know how true it is...or how adventurous you are going out by yourself in a foreign country...but I also read that women who go by themselves to the local open markets (ie to get fruit/veggies or whatever) are often 'groped' by the men because it's crowded in the markets and they're copping a free feel...so just be forewarned about that so you could practice your drop kicking before you went...and get yourself a few women (or even men) to go w/you to markets so you're not alone at least until you're comfortable w/the location.
Over all...I think it would be interesting. I have made my DH promise to take me there to visit at least, even if he won't consider living there. Who knows...maybe I could twist his arm to go while you were there...? It's sort of 'in the neighborhood.'
Holly
January 2008,
July 2008
December 2008
July 2009
September 2010
July 2011
Mom to Khaled
No, you are NOT being selfish.
Would it be difficult to be separated from your husband and son? ABSOLUTELY. However, you are more than a wife and mommy. It's not like it's a year. You are fortunate in that your husband is a good father and supportive of you taking advantage of the opportunity. In this day and age with such a volatile economy and job market, it may be a small price to pay in the long run. Anything you can do to put yourself a head up on others should be taken advantage of if at all possible. And just think of what a wonderful experience it would be for you personally. Emad is still small so he will 'bounce back' well from being separated. Plus with technology, a laptop and a webcam or even Skype can help make up for some of it. You know he will be in good hands if you go, and hubby taking him back to Morocco for a bit even is nice...either way you know he will be well taken care of and surrounded by loving family. I say go for it!!!
Would it be difficult to be separated from your husband and son? ABSOLUTELY. However, you are more than a wife and mommy. It's not like it's a year. You are fortunate in that your husband is a good father and supportive of you taking advantage of the opportunity. In this day and age with such a volatile economy and job market, it may be a small price to pay in the long run. Anything you can do to put yourself a head up on others should be taken advantage of if at all possible. And just think of what a wonderful experience it would be for you personally. Emad is still small so he will 'bounce back' well from being separated. Plus with technology, a laptop and a webcam or even Skype can help make up for some of it. You know he will be in good hands if you go, and hubby taking him back to Morocco for a bit even is nice...either way you know he will be well taken care of and surrounded by loving family. I say go for it!!!
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