My Daughter

I am writing for my daughter. She is 19 years old and have never had a period. She is only 4"9, weighs 200 pounds, has acne, facial hair problems and frequent headaches and nausea. She also has a serious anxiety issue regarding going to the Dr and having her first pelvic exam. I have had her there 3 times and she will allow him to do a regular physical exam but when it comes time for the pelvic, she panics.. She goes into a full blown panic attack and has to bolt out of there. We have tried having the nurse practioner see her , but its still the same anxiety. The Dr suspects PCOD due to her symptoms and hormone blood work she had done. I have asked the Dr to prescribe her "ONE" antianxiety pill to help her relax and get her into the office, but they are not willing to do it. I am so worried that every day that goes by more and more is going wrong with her, and she may never be able to have children. Do any of you have any ideas of what I can do to help her????? I am one worried mama, and want to know long term what can she expect from not treating this disorder. Thank you so much. Laura from Ohio

I am no medical practitioner, but whatever it is that causes your daughter to panic at the pelvic must be addressed. She cannot be allowed to continue avoiding a pelvic--especially in light of her symptoms. She needs to understand (now that she's 19 and must behave like an adult in this regard because she cannot be forced to comply) that this is an essential part of being the adult she now is. Continuing to exclude the reproductive aspects of an exam is like excluding any other body system. Just as it would not be reasonable to exclude a cardiopulmonary exam, it is no longer reasonable to exclude the pelvic. Perhaps a psychiatric evaluation is in order--especially if the episodes she experiences are truly panic attacks and happen in other contexts. Bottom line for me is that she is an adult and needs to behave like one unless there is something wrong (physically and/or mentally) that first needs to be addressed to allow her behavior to become reasonable. I'm sorry if this sounds somewhat harsh, but I really see it as an emergent situation that needs to be resolved.

I just thought I'd write with my experience. I was not diagnosed until I had an ultrasound and they found the tell tale "ring" around my ovaries. So even if she does or doesn't have a pelvic exam they should be able to diagnose her with an ultrasound. As far as the panic attacks, I have had two in my life and it is the worst feeling of your life. The only way I feel she will be able to get the pelvic exam is with some kind of relaxer. Try finding a new doctor if this one won't help in that respect. As for her being an "adult", Anxiety Attacks happen to anyone at anytime and doesn't discriminate. Maybe a good counselor would help also. Hope this helps a little. ~Debbie

I'd say you should ask the doc if a pelvic is really necessary. My gyno did not make me have one (which I was extremely grateful for) because I'm still a virgin with no prospects of becoming sexually active and would obviously only be on the pill for the PCOS. The pelvic won't help to diagnose PCOS; an ultrasound of the ovaries is the best bet.