Mental Health - Plastics driving me crazy

I had an abdominoplasty in June, and prior to booking the surgical date I was told the thigh lift, brachioplasty and breast reduction were approved.  Now these authorizations appear to be "lost", and I am still awaiting a decision from a Utilization Review Board as to whether or not the health plan will honor the authorizations.

I had expressed to a friend that I feel like someone dangled something in front of me, only to have it yanked away.  She didn't seem to understand this feeling.  I am trying to adjust to an even freakier me after having the abdominoplasty and no end in sight as it relates to the other procedures.  

The depression is overwhelming me.  I keep trying to be the person I was prior to the abdominoplasty, but I can't seem to find her anymore.  When I lost the first 100 lbs., I experienced a deep identity crisis.  I feel like this is the same thing.  Everything I was counting on is now gone.  Who shall I be now that the person who was becoming whole is now shattered apart?  

In terms of fighting for the authorizations, I have to admit that my energy level for this is low.  I am literally running on empty.  So now I need to find a way to just accept what is?  But what if that is simply an unacceptable result of surgeries gone bad?  I didn't agree to the abdomino without the others being covered.  Now I am just a train wreck.  

I had put my whole life on hold pending completion of the surgeries.  From Zumba certification to dating, I have done nothing but wait on finishing this process.  I can still get Zumba certified, but the dating is out of the question.  I am simply too ugly to successfully date.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar?  I am feeling alone.  

Thanks - Denise

I wish I could give you more on the "Ive been there side" I have but not for similar reasons.  From what I have read its not uncommon for depression to set in 4 - 8 weeks after a major surgery. It can certainly be worse if your feeling tired and run down.  Have you talked to a doctor or therapist at all. The identity crisis may very well happen again!  What worries me the most is the "I am simply too ugly to successfully date"  You may have some body dismorphia! I have had a hard time learning to love myself and I think its not uncommon (not just in this community but generally)  Please dont put your life on hold!  Please continue to reach out!  I find that the posts on this board get much less response then those on the surgical boards.  While this is related to plastics the feelings underneath are expierenced by a lot of people pre/post gastric surgery.  Try posting on a surgical board also see if you get any other ideas.  I'm so sorry your going through all this!

Sorry that you are feeling blue and that you can't move on. Just my 2 cents..................... I have learned that men that are worth dating did not care that I was overweight or that I had hanging skin.  Matter of fact, the last guy I date stated, "do really thing u need plastic surgery and please do not do it on my account,"  I also figure if a guy wont date you with extra skin or fat............what will he do if you an accident where you lost a limb or an eye or etc.  I want somebody to pick me for me and that will stay with me regardless of what I look like. 

Go enjoy like............. don't let skin hold you back. 

Great advice. I think as women we feel like men have such a high standard and that we can never meet that standard. Totally untrue.

I would be speaking to a counsellor or therapist as putting so much pressure on your life based on plastic surgery isn't healthy.

Thank you all for responding.

I don't feel comfortable posting in the WLS forum.  I lost all the weight through diet and exercise.  When I started, I was 280 lbs., and I lost 125 lbs. in 14 months.  At that point, my doctors told me to stop, as I was becoming too thin.  PS was the intended remedy for what was considered trapped in the skin.

I live in Southern California.  At some point I realized that attracting someone at that weight here was just not going to happen.  So, I lost weight to improve my chances.  I tried dating after the weight loss, and it didn't go well in part due to the skin.

As soon as I was able, I consulted with a PS.  It took 7 months to get the authorizations, and then they lost nearly all of them.  

I have been seeing a counselor for many years.  I took his advice and lost the weight in order to find someone.  I figured that I lived in So Cal and had better get with the program and shape up.

I would normally agree that a guy worth having is one who accepts you for who you are.  However, dating is the first steps to finding that person.  I can't manage to really get that to happen.  

As for body dysmorphia, I probably do have that at this point.  However, I would never have had the abdomino (LBL) if I had known the doctor's office fumbled with the authorizations for the other body parts.  

I understand how you must feel, esp with it being approved. Unfortunately, we deal with the insurance companies daily trying to get authorization for our patients. We run across similar situations but just keep pushing until it is resolved. It does take a long time. I would suggest you talk with a supervisor and explain your frustrations and anger!

Dr. Edward Jonas Domanskis is Certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery 1441 Avocado Avenue, Suite 307 Newport Beach, California 92660 949.640-6324/1.888.234-5080(Ca) Website: http://www.surgery-plastic.com Assistant Clinical Professor of SurgeryWOS-Plastic,University of California (Irvine) Orange County’s Physician of Excellence/America’s Top Physicians/Top Doctors Plastic Surgery- 2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2012 President,American Society of Bariatric Plastic Surgeons www.ASBPS.org

Non-Toxic, No Nanos Skin Care- www.ORGANODERM.com

Scar Therapy-www.ScaRxtape.com

My attorney sent a letter several weeks ago, which elevated the issue to the hospital's legal team.  The Legal Team went to the Health Plan's UR to get them to honor the authorizations.  The Health Plan has refused to do so.  I have been told that I have to do the appeal.  It took 7 months to get authorizations.  I can only imagine how long it would take to appeal.