Be Careful What you wish for--BA explant in future

Yes I actually went to several surgeons and tried on sizers underneath a tight sports bra with a t-shirt.  With my particular surgeon I tried on sizers twice--and the second time I brought my own clothing.  PS suggested 450 (the highest of my chosen range) and even hinted that 500 might look good because of my height (I'm 5'8).  I selected 450, but felt very bad about the decision, and called just a couple days before surgery to change to 400cc.  Immediately after surgery I was filled with remorse.  They were huge and swollen.  Even being 120lbs. heavier I only had A cups.  Immediately after surgery I wanted no boobs.

Now I'm torn.  I feel like this is the opportunity I wished for to explant and get back to my sleek, svelte, breast-less top.  On the other hand, I don't hate my "good" left side.  In fact, and believe me I hate to admit this, it's not big...at all.  

While I have your attention:  I don't know if I'm super sensitive and paranoid to my breasts/shape since my complication, but now I swear my "good" side has dropped too much, or maybe it's because my scar is not really in my crease.  Additionally, I have "pigeon chest" which was a concern before all of this, but my implant seems really off to the side toward my armpit, especially when lying down.  I do not know if this is typical or if this can be a result of having a barrel chest.  

I used to be DDD... after I lost all the weight I got Brest lift only. I did not needed implants. I asked the doc to make them size C and  not bigger than that. At the end - I end up with large C - small D. But 3 years later and gaining a few lbs here and there - My body put fat back in them... That happens often when we get older.  Now I am large D.. I wish I could have C. C is, IMO, just enough to show we have them, and we can always wear padded bras if we what to show we have them - but it is just perfect for daily exercise, finding dressses that fit (a lot of dresses have bigger hips than chest size.. so if something fits on my chest - it is loose on the bottom.)

Currenlt I maintain size 6-8 bottom, 10-12 top.. 

You will have to live with them and carrying them around... At size large D - I start hating my bras again and as soon as I get home - they are coming off...

Hi. Sorry for the late reply....for soem reason I dont get an email when there is a posted response ????

It seems you engaged in a good sizing process and hopefully that translated into a result that will not be TOO unexpected.  Body image is "funny" and be patienta s your results settle.

You can expect some differences in breast shape from side to side whichshould get better as swelling resolves and the complication heals. That being said, once you get to the 3 month mark it is time to discuss any changes you may wish to undertake with your surgeon.

Thank you Dr. 

However I will never get to the 3 month mark. While I did start accepting or even liking my breasts at 3 weeks, I discovered infection a day later which has been draining for 4 weeks while I've been on cipro  I had bilateral removal today. And now I don't know what so do going forward. My original A cups were nice with no excess skin. Now I fear I'll have skin and scars. 

As as far as size I think once the swelling went down the 400 was ok. I'm tall and broad so I'd actually say the 400 was good, on the small side of natural. My 36 C is actually a little big. 

So now the question become if I want bigger breasts period and if I want to go through anymore. If I did I might consider bigger