How do you deal with disappointment after plastic surgery?

Hey everyone, a woman recently asked a good question for which I do not have an answer. She wanted to know how someone can cope with her surgery results if she's unsatisfied with them and can’t afford additional or revisionary surgery? Can anyone weigh-in on this?

Along this same line, do you feel that your expectations were realistic going into surgery, and that your surgeon managed your expectations of what your results would be and then delivered those results?

Thanks very much!

 

I think I'd start with the question of whether I really believe the surgeon didn't do his job, or if my expectations were too high.  If it was surgeon error, I'd be talking to the doc about revisions.  You need to get your surgeon's policy about revisions before he ever touches you.  A lot of them can be done in the office under a local, free of charge.  The ones that require general anesthesia are going to cost, even if the surgeon waives his/her fee. [and I'm assuming we're not talking about out and out malpractice, because that's a whole different ball of wax].  I really don't know what I'd do or how I'd feel if the surgeon had messed up and I couldn't find a way to fix it.

If it's a case of expectations not being met, I'd still talk to the surgeon about whether any improvements could be made.  Then I'd pull out my "before" pictures and give myself a reality check.  I had one surgical consult where the surgeon's line was "I operate with a scalpel, not a magic wand."  I loved that.  Hard as it is to accept, I'm fifty-something, not twenty-something.  I was morbidly obese for decades.  No amount of surgery is going to give me Jessica Alba's body (damn it!).

But, so far, my surgeon delivered more than I expected, so it hasn't been an issue.  More surgery scheduled for next year, so we'll see how it goes.

I think that it is critical that the patient and the physician be on the same page - same sentence, when it comes to what the patient expects from the surgery and how the surgeon will deliver that. I wished my surgeon had shown me what he was going to do to my breasts and ass because then I could have told him that was not what I wanted. I know he will revise them but it just would have been better if they came out the way I wanted. I spent an entire day crying at about one week post op over my results. And now I have to go months not liking a body that I spent a ton of money to get. So if a revision was not possible for me, I would be very depressed right now and I do not know what I would do. It is hard enough going through recovery as it is with my arms and leg and groin problems. But if I were to think that I would be stuck with a body that I did not like after all that pain, and the extreme let down of unmet expectations, wow that would be bad. It breaks my heart when I see this happen to other women.

i wonder about these surgeons. On one hand you have the surgeon who told you he uses a scalpel not a magic wand. Is thwt because he doesn't have the skills to deliver what the patient expects? On the other hand, you have surgeons who will say, "Let's go for a 10!" Is that surgeon just telling the patient what she wants to hear?

a strong patient-physician relationship is vital before and after surgery. As are the skills of the surgeon. I think it is hard to find a surgeon who meets all criteria of talent and bedside manner. I have seen far too many times where a surgeon has a great bedside manner then poof, you see a very different person afterwards. I have personally encountered this with two plastic surgeons. 

What have you done so far and what is planned for next year?

LBL last January. Thighs, long incision, in February 2014. See how that goes and, if I'm up for it, arms and boob lift, no implants, a few months later. On the fence about the face. Would love to get rid of the turkey neck, but you can't cover up the face if things get wonky. My goal is to do whatever I'm going to do next year, kiss my surgeon and say goodbye. We'll see how it goes!

You and I are very much in the same boat with our surgeries. I am very glad that I did my entire body. Otherwise there is a mismatch. I do want the implants, though. Just not sure on size but Dr. C uses the sizers so I will be able to play around with options. 

I absolutely need to do the face and neck. That said I am scared to do it mostly because I am not sure I will get the outcomes that I want. It seems any face lift that I look at on any site the before and after photos look virtually the same to me. Hell, I don't want to look "refreshed" as so many people say. I want to look young. I really have a lot of joweling and a fat neck that need to go. Or I could just move somewhere sunny because my suntan hides a ton of flaws in my face. I look 100x better in the Summer.

Good luck with your surgeries!!! 

I k now yougot your thighs done. What have you decided on the rest?

This recovery has been so easy by comparison with the LBL, that I'm thinking I can finish with the plan.  And hopefully finish all the surgeries this year.  Arms/breasts in late summer, and neck lift/mini-lift/whatever they call it in late fall or early winter.  I'm hoping for an actual vacation next year, not just recoveries!

You go girl! I would love to see y complete your journey. You have always been such a source of knowledge for this community, having given so much you deserve to get your heart's desire in return.

and haha (I'm hoping for an actual vacation next year, not just recoveries!)

I think you know my opinion but...
As I have been reading on this Board for some time now and on Dr.S Board:
We were far for years so improvement is more likely than perfection.
Some revisions are due to our own bodily healing; and my body definitely has wound healing issues that are a medical mystery. I don't smoke, don't have diabetes (in fact my HbA1C is too low at 3.7) and my zinc is too high.
I am not looking to be Barbie/Twiggy but rather a more compressed me if possible.
I feel like a barrel even after the plastics I've been able to have via my HMO and at some point I have to just accept me from me with my bodily flaws; and every scar on my body has meaning to me!
And you know you can quote me on everything I write!
Mikimi in Israel